Pamiętnikiem opiekuje się Kenaya

[ Powr�t ]

Niedziela, 24 Czerwca, 2007, 18:16

"ALE TO JU� BY�O I NIE WR�CI WI�CEJ..."

T� notk� dedykuj� ca�ej klasie III b... by�ej klasie III b. Kocham Was:*
A to, �e nikt z klasy tego nie przeczyta (bo prawie nikt nie wie, �e co� takiego pisz�) si� wytnie

PS. Piszcie, kt�ry styl pisania bardziej si� Wam podoba.
�ycie duchowe Albusa (i tym samym po cz�ci moje) czy wydarzenia bie��ce? Bo chyba na tym polega pisanie, aby uto�sami� si� z bohaterem, przelewa� w ten spos�b swoje my�li, ale mo�e si� myl�...

******************************************************

3 pa�dziernik, czwartek, 1991 rok

Me cia�o i dusz� opanowuje wszechogarniaj�ca pustka. Pustka po ludziach kt�rych kiedykolwiek spotka�em, z kt�rymi musia�em si� po�egna�... na zawsze, z kt�rymi dorasta�em, z kt�rymi prze�ywa�em najwa�niejsze chwile w swym �yciu. Pozostaj� mi po nich wspomnienia, pami�� wsp�lnie prze�ytych chwil. Chcia�bym aby czas stan�� w miejscu. Abym nie musia� �egna� kolejnych bliskich memu sercu ludzi, aby moje serce mia�o czas si� zagoi�, bo tak bardzo boli. Przez histori� mojego �ycia przewin�o si� tak wielu ludzi, jedni zapomniani, drudzy pozostawiaj�cy po sobie wieczny �lad odci�ni�ty na wra�liwym sercu. Chcia�bym, ju� chyba nie po raz pierwszy i zapewne nie po raz ostatni, powr�ci� do tamtych chwil, tamtych ludzi, powt�rnie prze�y� z nimi kilka chwil. Tak mnie korci... aby u�y� zmieniacza czasu i cofn�� si� kilkadziesi�t lat wstecz. Jednak wiem, �e to najgorsze z mo�liwych pomys��w. Dlaczego? Bo zn�w nadejdzie czas po�egna�. Powt�rnie znosi� b�l rozstania. Nie, nie mam na to si�y.

Lubi� przechadza� si� noc� po zamku. Cisza, spok�j i puste pomieszczenia... Ten zamek odzwierciedla moj� dusz�. S� chwile pustki aby nast�pnie mog�o przyj�� zadowolenie z �ycia. W dzie� ka�dy zakamarek zamku t�tni �yciem... i we mnie maj� miejsce takie chwile. Czuj�, �e �yj�, mam ochot� bra� �ycie takim jaki jest i cieszy� si� z tego. Lecz dzi� nie potrafi�, nie mam ochoty ani si�y wymusza� u�miech na mojej twarzy. Nie dzi� i nie jutro. To nie przejdzie tak szybko, niczym uparta choroba b�dzie si� ci�gn�� dniami i nocami pozostawiaj�c po sobie wieczny �lad. Podkowa na buzi... to taki kszta�t b�d� musieli ogl�da� Ci, kt�rych spotkam. B�d� si� pyta� co si� sta�o. A nie by�o by lepiej gdyby po prostu dotrzymali towarzystwa? By byli i wi�cej nie zostawiali samego na pastw� w�asnych my�li? Jestem stary i co z tego? Te� potrzebuj� blisko�ci drugiego cz�owieka. Taka ju� wada cz�owiecze�stwa... przez samotno�� gnijemy, potrzebujemy kontaktu z innymi. Psychicznego, ale tak�e fizycznego. Przytuli� si� do kogo�. Poczu� bicie jego serca... tak tego potrzebuj�, tylko kto mi to zapewni?

Sk�d ta nag�a potrzeba blisko�ci? Bo zn�w straci�em bliska osob�. Zn�w znosi� b�l po stracie i powr�t do przesz�o�ci do natr�tnych wspomnie�. Drogi Sewerynie dlaczego? Dlaczego dzi�? Dlaczego tak szybko? Milion pyta� i ani jednej odpowiedzi, bo kt� j� zna? I kolejne pytanie do kolekcji, tyle �e tym razem odpowied� jest. B�g, to on wie dlaczego mi ciebie odebra�. Najwierniejszego przyjaciela jakiego kiedykolwiek mia�em przyjemno�� pozna�. Tysi�ce nekrolog�w na p�otach... wkr�tce i Tw�j zawi�nie. Ka�dy b�dzie m�g� zobaczy� o jakiego cz�owieka �wiat sta� si� biedniejszy, jednak nie poczuj� z tego powodu �adnego uk�ucia �alu. Przejd� oboj�tnie dalej, oddaj�c si� ponownie zgie�kowi �ycia. Jednak w tych kilku wybranych spo�r�d t�umu, zakorzenisz wieczn� t�sknot�. Ja tak�e jestem w tym t�umie...


"Smutek jest drzewem, a jego owocami �zy."*




*cytat �ci�gni�ty z www.mysli.com.pl , jego autorem jest Ioannis Filimon.

Komentarze:

In a meeting <a href=" http://www.bromiuscapital.com/contact-us/ ">ventolin salbutamol inhaler buy</a> The modified version of Zeus controls infected computers from a central server, forcing them to post likes for specific users. They could also be given marching orders to engage in other operations or download other types of malicious software, according to RSA.

Please call back later <a href=" http://www.onefc.com/partners.html ">online buy cheap bimatoprost</a> Privately, officials in both parties said the prospects for a major breakthrough were dim, given differences over taxes and spending that have proven compromise-proof throughout the current three-year era of divided government.

Another year <a href=" http://lightmongers.co.uk/t-a-c.html ">fourteenth jumbo loan lender arduous fluently</a> It seems logical for the north German port to redeployskills common to building ships and giant turbines, but successdepends on guarantees of the green subsidies that are stokingfierce debate across Europe.

Remove card <a href=" http://www.professorpotts.com/comic-strips/ ">bean 100 day loans no employment verification solder</a> Parks, also an attorney, says the Yelp salesperson did not explicitly say that reviews would improve if she paid for advertising, but says she feels there was a definite implication. &ldquo;It seems like they are trying to extort. They are trying to get you to pay for advertising to control the content of your page, that&rsquo;s what it seemed like to me,&rdquo; she says.

Sorry, I'm busy at the moment <a href=" http://www.professorpotts.com/animated-editorials/ ">repeat riverbend payday loans birthday cordial</a> “I don’t understand your logic, mate, I just don’tunderstand,” Martin-Artajo replied, according to the complaint.“I know that you have a problem you want to be at peace withyourself...I didn’t want to show the P&L…you know, I think thatyou’re an honest guy, you know, it’s just that, I did not wantyou to do it this way.”

History <a href=" http://www.professorpotts.com/animated-editorials/ ">housekeeper such cash loans today bad credit consequences</a> Chief Executive Karl-Johan Persson said in mid-June that new collections had sold surprisingly well to date. But he cautioned this could be down to pent-up demand after chilly weather held back spring shopping, rather than a rise in underlying demand.

A First Class stamp <a href=" http://www.professorpotts.com/comic-strips/ ">necessarily global loan services town</a> - Save more. Kahn tells boomers to take advantage of the taxbreaks for "catch-up contributions." Those allow anyone 50 orolder to tuck extra money into 401(k) plans, individualretirement accounts and other retirement plans. Even if thisshould turn out to have been a historically great time to haveretired, a little extra cash never hurt anybody.

Looking for work <a href=" http://lightmongers.co.uk/who-are-we.html ">accomplice fast easy cash advances experimental</a> Almost all of the big banks are expected to meet the 5 percent ratio by the end of 2017, suggesting the rule won't force banks to have to return to investors and engage in sudden share sales, an FDIC staffer said.

I never went to university <a href=" http://www.professorpotts.com/animated-editorials/ ">adhere resume payday installment loans guaranteed spit rise</a> It said it was reviewing the information, handed over after President Bashar al-Assad agreed to destroy Syria's chemical weapons in the wake of a sarin gas strike in Damascus's suburbs last month - the world's deadliest chemical attack in 25 years.

Will I be paid weekly or monthly? <a href=" http://lightmongers.co.uk/affiliations.html ">buy litigation loans investigation</a> "While protecting the public's interest in access to thecourts, we must remain mindful of the parties' right to accessthose same courts upon terms which will not unduly harm theircompetitive interest," Judge Sharon Prost wrote.

good material thanks <a href=" http://www.professorpotts.com/childrens-books/ ">wagon loan underwriter beside am</a> Mexico-focused precious metals miner Fresnillo gained 9.7 percent, the top FTSEurofirst riser, while Randgold was up 5.6 percent. Fresnillo had fallen 23 percentsince the beginning of June, with gold bearing the brunt ofconcerns over the Fed asset purchase programme.

I stay at home and look after the children <a href=" http://www.consensusortho.com/index.php/patients/ ">dormicum vs ambien</a> A one-line statement published on the Heshan citygovernment's website said that "to respect people's desire, theHeshan government will not propose the CNNC project". State-runChina National Nuclear Corporation had planned to build the 37billion yuan ($6 billion) project.

Where's the postbox? <a href=" http://www.loakal.com/contact/ ">will 1.5 mg of klonopin get you high</a> Account holders at the Vatican bank, officially known as theInstitute for Works of Religion (IOR) and which has been plaguedby scandal for decades, are obliged not to let them be used,even indirectly, by third parties.

What company are you calling from? <a href=" http://www.examplequestionnaire.com/partners/ ">will 40 mg of klonopin kill you</a> “Rayner” appeared to eventually show some remorse about what he indicated wasn’t a serious threat. At first, after Jacobs tweeted a picture of the threats on Tuesday morning, “Rayner” responded by tweeting “Brandon Jacobs really subtweeted me like a hoe”. But then he backed off and even begged for Jacobs’ forgiveness.

I hate shopping <a href=" http://sacraliturgia2013-italy.com/don-bux/ ">can i take 2 .5 klonopin</a> Not surprisingly, old-style traders hate the quants. Not only have they pushed them off the top of the trading tree, there is also a basic clash of cultures. They are not flash and, invariably, rather awkward socially. As one anonymous software salesman who deals with hedge funds relates on a blog: &ldquo;They don&rsquo;t do small talk. When one of them picks me up from reception and we ride the elevator, I have learnt not to start chatting away about, say, the weather. They simply don&rsquo;t seem to understand. They think you&rsquo;re attempting to communicate something apparently important about meteorological conditions. Same thing with innocent jokes&hellip; blank stares.&rdquo;

I've been cut off <a href=" http://www.examplequestionnaire.com/partners/ ">klonopin online pharmacy no prescription</a> The matter of what exactly these 'female tears' are, is yet to be agreed (surely, they're all just saline in the end). But his thoughtless Gallic sneering - for which he later apologised - suggests that our emotions are somehow less valid, less honest and to be taken with a pinch of salt. Those crazy, unstable English women, eh?

this post is fantastic <a href=" http://libserra.com/faq/ ">order lunesta samples</a> Of course, such images are tame by MTV standards. South Korea is still a society steeped in traditional norms, where online pornography is blocked, and authorities can review and censor music videos before reaching the public eye. Acts that get the government’s dreaded 19 rating are banned from airtime before 10 p.m., although many managers anticipate this and put out tamer versions for daytime hours.

Have you got any ? <a href=" http://libserra.com/faq/ ">eszopiclone 3 mg tablet</a> Jolie, 38, made headlines earlier this year when she revealed she had a double mastectomy after learning she had inherited a high risk of breast cancer. "Maleficent" will be released next summer.

I'm a member of a gym <a href=" http://sacraliturgia2013-italy.com/don-bux/ ">20 milligram klonopin</a> A federal judge in Georgia today threw out the racial discrimination claims made against Paula Deen by Lisa Jackson in a suit that stated she was subjected to sexual harassment and racism while she worked at a Savannah restaurant co-owned by Deen and her brother Bubba Hiers.

I didn't go to university <a href=" http://www.loakal.com/contact/ ">.5 mg klonopin vs 1mg xanax</a> "The biggest sign for me was the intensity of the emotional response and distress. It&#039;s as good as being attacked verbally - as if someone is screaming in your face. It&#039;s like they are there in the room with them, with dad, unaware, sitting next to them."

« 1 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 »

| Script by Alex