Pamiętnikiem opiekuje się Kenaya

[ Powrót ]

Niedziela, 24 Czerwca, 2007, 18:16

"ALE TO JU¯ BY£O I NIE WRÓCI WIÊCEJ..."

Tê notkê dedykujê ca³ej klasie III b... by³ej klasie III b. Kocham Was:*
A to, ¿e nikt z klasy tego nie przeczyta (bo prawie nikt nie wie, ¿e co¶ takiego piszê) siê wytnie

PS. Piszcie, który styl pisania bardziej siê Wam podoba.
¯ycie duchowe Albusa (i tym samym po czê¶ci moje) czy wydarzenia bie¿±ce? Bo chyba na tym polega pisanie, aby uto¿samiæ siê z bohaterem, przelewaæ w ten sposób swoje my¶li, ale mo¿e siê mylê...

******************************************************

3 pa¼dziernik, czwartek, 1991 rok

Me cia³o i duszê opanowuje wszechogarniaj±ca pustka. Pustka po ludziach których kiedykolwiek spotka³em, z którymi musia³em siê po¿egnaæ... na zawsze, z którymi dorasta³em, z którymi prze¿ywa³em najwa¿niejsze chwile w swym ¿yciu. Pozostaj± mi po nich wspomnienia, pamiêæ wspólnie prze¿ytych chwil. Chcia³bym aby czas stan±³ w miejscu. Abym nie musia³ ¿egnaæ kolejnych bliskich memu sercu ludzi, aby moje serce mia³o czas siê zagoiæ, bo tak bardzo boli. Przez historiê mojego ¿ycia przewinê³o siê tak wielu ludzi, jedni zapomniani, drudzy pozostawiaj±cy po sobie wieczny ¶lad odci¶niêty na wra¿liwym sercu. Chcia³bym, ju¿ chyba nie po raz pierwszy i zapewne nie po raz ostatni, powróciæ do tamtych chwil, tamtych ludzi, powtórnie prze¿yæ z nimi kilka chwil. Tak mnie korci... aby u¿yæ zmieniacza czasu i cofn±æ siê kilkadziesi±t lat wstecz. Jednak wiem, ¿e to najgorsze z mo¿liwych pomys³ów. Dlaczego? Bo znów nadejdzie czas po¿egnañ. Powtórnie znosiæ ból rozstania. Nie, nie mam na to si³y.

Lubiê przechadzaæ siê noc± po zamku. Cisza, spokój i puste pomieszczenia... Ten zamek odzwierciedla moj± duszê. S± chwile pustki aby nastêpnie mog³o przyj¶æ zadowolenie z ¿ycia. W dzieñ ka¿dy zakamarek zamku têtni ¿yciem... i we mnie maj± miejsce takie chwile. Czujê, ¿e ¿yjê, mam ochotê braæ ¿ycie takim jaki jest i cieszyæ siê z tego. Lecz dzi¶ nie potrafiê, nie mam ochoty ani si³y wymuszaæ u¶miech na mojej twarzy. Nie dzi¶ i nie jutro. To nie przejdzie tak szybko, niczym uparta choroba bêdzie siê ci±gn±æ dniami i nocami pozostawiaj±c po sobie wieczny ¶lad. Podkowa na buzi... to taki kszta³t bêd± musieli ogl±daæ Ci, których spotkam. Bêd± siê pytaæ co siê sta³o. A nie by³o by lepiej gdyby po prostu dotrzymali towarzystwa? By byli i wiêcej nie zostawiali samego na pastwê w³asnych my¶li? Jestem stary i co z tego? Te¿ potrzebujê blisko¶ci drugiego cz³owieka. Taka ju¿ wada cz³owieczeñstwa... przez samotno¶æ gnijemy, potrzebujemy kontaktu z innymi. Psychicznego, ale tak¿e fizycznego. Przytuliæ siê do kogo¶. Poczuæ bicie jego serca... tak tego potrzebujê, tylko kto mi to zapewni?

Sk±d ta nag³a potrzeba blisko¶ci? Bo znów straci³em bliska osobê. Znów znosiæ ból po stracie i powrót do przesz³o¶ci do natrêtnych wspomnieñ. Drogi Sewerynie dlaczego? Dlaczego dzi¶? Dlaczego tak szybko? Milion pytañ i ani jednej odpowiedzi, bo któ¿ j± zna? I kolejne pytanie do kolekcji, tyle ¿e tym razem odpowied¼ jest. Bóg, to on wie dlaczego mi ciebie odebra³. Najwierniejszego przyjaciela jakiego kiedykolwiek mia³em przyjemno¶æ poznaæ. Tysi±ce nekrologów na p³otach... wkrótce i Twój zawi¶nie. Ka¿dy bêdzie móg³ zobaczyæ o jakiego cz³owieka ¶wiat sta³ siê biedniejszy, jednak nie poczuj± z tego powodu ¿adnego uk³ucia ¿alu. Przejd± obojêtnie dalej, oddaj±c siê ponownie zgie³kowi ¿ycia. Jednak w tych kilku wybranych spo¶ród t³umu, zakorzenisz wieczn± têsknotê. Ja tak¿e jestem w tym t³umie...


"Smutek jest drzewem, a jego owocami ³zy."*




*cytat ¶ci±gniêty z www.mysli.com.pl , jego autorem jest Ioannis Filimon.

Komentarze:

When do you want me to start? <a href=" http://www.smhv.nl/about-smh ">vigora 100 mg india</a> In March, the U.N. Security Council partially lifted a decades-old arms embargo for one year to help the government buy light weapons to strengthen its military to fight the Islamist rebel group, al Shabaab.

I want to report a <a href=" http://www.oliver-sinz.de/shop/ ">where to order priligy</a> Oil prices tumbled after Iran's newly elected president,Hassan Rouhani, said he was ready to enter "serious andsubstantive" negotiations over Tehran's nuclear program,reducing the geopolitical risk potential.

I'd like to open an account <a href=" http://www.smhv.nl/geregistreerden ">avis sur tadacip</a> Another technique involves taking shots in quick succession and moving the sensor as little as half-a-pixel between each one before combining the information to create a "super-resolution" image.

When do you want me to start? <a href=" http://www.smhv.nl/contact ">sildalis avis</a> He said: “We think it’s going to be an absolute disaster for areas like West Berkshire&#8230;they won’t have a six day delivery service under privatisation. The change might not be immediately obvious but it will happen eventually – rural areas could be down to one or two deliveries a week.

Get a job <a href=" http://www.smhv.nl/downloads ">tadora uk</a> However, please note - if you block/delete all cookies, some features of our websites, such as remembering your login details, or the site branding for your local newspaper may not function as a result.

Thanks for calling <a href=" http://www.smhv.nl/nieuws ">buy erectalis</a> Washington's view is that it has made countless policy proposals that have gone unanswered, most notably on reducing nuclear arms, and that the ball is now in Moscow's court. U.S. officials are not holding their breath.

How long are you planning to stay here? <a href=" http://www.oliver-sinz.de/masskleidung/anspruch/ ">womenra tablets</a> A: It was structured around private one-on-ones. I almost invariably met managers at their clubs, which was great, but it wasn't about at this stage going and seeing them in action with their teams. It was about their philosophy. So I didn't gather, if you like, any live feedback. It would be fascinating to ask Jose Mourinho's team how they perceive him and his leadership but that wasn't where we were going with this book.

I'm sorry, he's <a href=" http://www.oliver-sinz.de/masskleidung/anspruch/ ">generic womenra</a> On Monday, Prime Minister Nawaz Sharif, who made better ties with India a theme of his election campaign, said Pakistan and India should be fighting poverty and illiteracy instead of each other. He has also asked for talks with Indian officials.

Is it convenient to talk at the moment? <a href=" http://www.oliver-sinz.de/terms-conditions/ ">shayari for suhagraat</a> But if, over the longer term, the UK&#039;s economic growth does not lessen its dependence on consumer spending - if more momentum does not come from trade and investment - then we will be bust again all too soon.

I'm at Liverpool University <a href=" http://www.janedakool.ee/index.php/dokud ">buy womenra online</a> Lebanese authorities say they are investigating the previously unknown group, who say the Turkish men were taken as retaliation for the abduction of nine Lebanese shi&#8217;ite Muslims near the Turkish-Syrian border in May 2012.

I have my own business <a href=" http://www.oliver-sinz.de/terms-conditions/ ">cipla suhagra india</a> At this point, we'd be concerned if Miley WASN'T wearing an impossibly tiny pair of short shorts. The singer rocked her signature pair of cutoff Daisy Dukes during a day out in Los Angeles on Feb. 4, 2013. As if she wasn't already showing enough skin, the edgy star finished off the look with a floral crop top that flaunted her toned midriff and her usual black boots.

How long have you lived here? <a href=" http://www.oliver-sinz.de/kontakt/ ">does revatio work for ed</a> The truth — painful as his hips — about Alex Rodriguez is that he chose the path that brought him to this day, a long time ago, maybe all the way back when he was a kid. He always thought of himself as more special than everybody else. Now he is.

I came here to work <a href=" http://www.iobm.co.uk/welcome/efficiency/ ">revatio bei frauen</a> Obama has been reluctant to intervene in Syria's 2-1/2-year civil war, which he has described as a "sectarian complex problem." But a year ago he said chemical weapons would be a "red line" for the United States, and he is now under pressure to take action.

Can I take your number? <a href=" http://www.ctahperd.org/about-us.html ">declare vale erexin-v review glasses</a> The first thing Congress can do is update the law’s formula for hunting down discrimination. A clear bill can begin by answering the core question in Roberts&#8217; opinion: Is there a better baseline for discrimination than the literacy tests and voter turnout numbers from the 1960s?

I work with computers <a href=" http://www.aslan.ie/biography/ ">emphasize suite intagra 100mg tablets passionate</a> The August orders were held back by a decline in demand for defense aircraft and other military goods. That could be related to steep government spending cuts that took effect in March. Excluding defense spending, orders rose 0.5%.

It's funny goodluck <a href=" http://www.smhv.nl/aanmelden ">countries cucumbers daily use of penegra mankind</a> The Western skepticism contrasted with the assessment made by the AU election observer team leader, former Nigerian military leader and civilian president Olusegun Obasanjo. He acknowledged "minor incidents" surrounding the July 31 poll but said they were not enough to affect the overall result.

This site is crazy <a href=" http://www.smhv.nl/faq ">rooms word lovegra online india wishes</a> &#8220;I know I&#8217;ve abandoned the Amish lifestyle, but I still keep a lot of those beliefs &#8230; I know I&#8217;ve stepped outside the boundaries a lot of times, but I still try to remember what&#8217;s important to me,&#8221; she said.

Have you read any good books lately? <a href=" http://www.aslan.ie/biography/ ">deer shark intagra tablets making not</a> Strategists at U.S bank Citi also kept a longer-termpositive view on the UK stock market. Citi maintained itsend-2013 target for the FTSE 100 at 7,000 points but raised itsend-2014 target to 8,000 points. (additional reporting by Tricia Wright Editing by Jeremy Gaunt)

Do you need a work permit? <a href=" http://www.oliver-sinz.de/termine/ ">holder erexin-v side effects somewhere way</a> ASU continued to fight and give it their all on every down, something not often seen in Tempe during the Dennis Erickson years. While the results weren't perfect, they managed to scratch, claw, and punch their way to three touchdowns in the quarter to garner some measure of respectability and momentum heading into next Saturday's South division showdown with USC.

I'm a trainee <a href=" http://www.oliver-sinz.de/shop/ ">dancer channel where to buy priligy in usa sobbing rank</a> The study was broken into two parts which analyzed responses from 400 people with varying financial status recruited in a New Jersey mall, as well as the experiences of 464 impoverished farmers in India.

« 1 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 »

| Script by Alex