Pamiętnikiem opiekuje się Kenaya

[ Powr�t ]

Środa, 07 Listopada, 2007, 18:11

BEZPOWROTNIE STRACONA JEST KA�DA CHWILA...

No wi�c najwy�szy czas na notk�. W ko�cu znalaz�am czas, mia�am ochot� i nic mi nie przeszkadza�o. Czy wynagrodzi Wam to d�ugie czekanie? Oby
Sa przemy�lenia jak obieca�am, z g��bi serduszka, mojego oczywi�cie. Nie przed�u�aj�c...

***************************************************

2 listopad, sobota, 1991

Cudownie jest przechadza� si� po szkole i widzie� tyle szcz�liwych twarzy. Zapomina si� wtedy o swoich problemach, daj�c swojemu umys�owi nie�wiadomy odpoczynek. Czy to ta pogoda tak nastraja ludzi? W tym roku jak nigdy run�a na nas poka�na ilo�� �niegu. Jezioro wspaniale zamarz�o , zach�caj�c do �lizgania si� po nim. Na dworze zimno, w zamku zimno, gdzie wi�c szukaj� ogrzania moi zaradni uczniowie? W ramionach swoich koleg�w, kole�anek, czy raczej ch�opak�w, dziewczyn. To cudowne, �e ludzie w ich wieku szukaj� blisko�ci drugiego cz�owieka, jest ona bowiem nam bardzo potrzebna. Czasem sobie nawet nie zdajemy sprawy jak bardzo nasza dusza i cia�o potrzebuj� aby je kto� przytuli�, pog�aska�, poca�owa�. Wracam wi�c do pytania, kt�re zada�em na samym pocz�tku. Czy to ta pogoda tak nastraja ludzi? �e s� tacy szcz�liwi? Nie. To obecno�� tej drugiej osoby, kt�ra dla ka�dego z nas znaczy bardzo wiele, a czasami nawet, jest ca�ym, ogromnym �wiatem.
Jednak w�r�d tych u�miechni�tych twarzy przewija�y si� co jaki� czas kompletne przeciwie�stwa. Smutna mina, wzrok sprawnie omijaj�cy wszystkie „pary”. Co w nich si� odbija? Zazdro��? �al? Smutek? Uczucie niesprawiedliwo�ci dotykaj�ce ich? Mo�e wszystko po trochu, a mo�e… to m�j ju�-nie-najlepszy wzrok sp�ata� mi figla i w rzeczywisto�ci ka�dy jest szcz�liwy? Pozostan� przy tej my�li. My�li pocieszaj�cej i podnosz�cej na duchu. Dlaczego si� tym tak bardzo przejmuj�? Nie czuj� si� wzgl�dem nich jak dyrektor, tylko ojciec, kt�ry chce aby jego dzieci by�y wiecznie u�miechni�te oraz aby dozna�y sympatii ze strony drugiego cz�owieka.

W �yciu widzia�em ju� wiele cierpienia, b�lu, opuszczenia, z ca�� pewno�ci� nie chc� nigdy wi�cej musie� na to patrze�. O wiele bardziej wol� gdy otacza mnie mi�o�� i przyja��. Zreszt� jak ka�dy, albo prawie ka�dy, Tom na pewno nie zawraca sobie swojej g�owy? umys�u? takimi b�ahostkami jak mi�o��. Pr�dzej ja przejd� na stron� ciemno�ci ni� on zapragnie mie� przyjaciela. �miercio�ercy by ju� tu pewnie wtr�cili swoje 2 knuty „Czarny Pan uwa�a mnie za swojego przyjaciela”. To z�udzenie, Riddle nigdy nie chcia�, nie chce i nie b�dzie chcia� mie� bliskiej osoby takiej do kochania i tulenia, do wy�alania si� i do s�uchania. Tom to bry�a lodu magicznie przemieniona w cz�owieka jednak nie posiadaj�ca �adnych pozytywnych jego stron, cech. On tak naprawd� nie �yje, on istnieje, ale nie �yje. Nie czerpie z �ycia �adnej jego zalet, przyjemno�ci . On po prostu jest, czy si� nam to podoba czy nie.

Hmm dziwna my�l mi w�a�nie przysz�a do g�owy. Mianowicie mo�e potrzebna nam taka posta�. Posta� bezwzgl�dna, okrutna, m�ciwa? Posta� Toma Riddle'a II, dzi�ki kt�remu zacz�li�my docenia� to co mamy, TYCH co mamy. Przed jego dzia�alno�ci�, �e si� tak wyra�� ludzie nie byli dla siebie najlepiej nastawieni. Istnia�a mi�dzy nimi niezgoda, a k��tnie w niekt�rych rodzinach by�y na porz�dku dziennym. Jednak gdy zacz�� pozbawia� nas tych cz�onk�w naszych rodzin, z kt�rymi zaczynali�my dzie� od niemi�ego „daj mi spok�j”, zacz�li�my ich docenia�. Ich i ich obecno�� w�r�d nas. Ju� nie liczy�o si� to, �e On by� dla Niej nieuprzejmy, Tamten przekl�� Tamtego, liczy�o si� tylko to, �e ich ju� nie ma, �e nasze serce poczu�o t� strat� i teraz cierpi ogromne katusze. Liczy�o si� to, �e zacz�li�my dostrzega� w tych ludziach rzeczy, na kt�re wtedy nie zwracali�my uwagi. Zacz�y dr�czy� nas wyrzuty sumienia, a g�owa nie chcia�a da� spokoju od ci�gle powtarzaj�cych si� s��w „ju� nigdy…”, „dlaczego nie…”.
Dlatego tak wa�ne jest aby dostrzec t� mi�o��. Zauwa�y� j� w ludziach nas otaczaj�cych i odwdzi�cza� si� im tym samym. Nie ma nic gorszego ni� ca�e dnie sp�dza� sam na sam z w�asnym „ja” stroni�c od innych. Cz�owiek jest ju� tak zbudowany. Potrzebuje mi�o�ci i blisko�ci kogo� drugiego, w samotno�ci pogr��a si� w otch�ani, w kt�rej nie ma cho�by p�omyka nadziei.


"Bezpowrotnie stracona jest ka�da chwila, kt�rej nie wype�nia mi�o��."*





*Torquato Tasso; www.mysli.com.pl

Komentarze:

How much is a Second Class stamp? <a href=" http://wecaresolar.org/projects/ ">effexor xr 37.5mg reviews</a> Shortages of certain personnel are already affecting patient care, Imison said. For example, fewer newly qualified doctors are choosing to become geriatricians because of the pressures involved, and p – but at a time when increasing lifespans mean that more are needed. Psychiatry is also experiencing shortages due to similar pressures on staff, she added.

The United States <a href=" http://www.foursisters.com/inns.htm ">Atorvastatin Online</a> The governors of Louisiana, Mississippi, Florida and Alabamadeclared states of emergency to speed storm preparations and theFederal Emergency Management Agency recalled some workers whowere furloughed in the federal government shutdown to assist.

I study here <a href=" http://wecaresolar.org/about-us/ ">effexor xr 150 cost</a> It has been reported that Weiner had difficulty hiring veteran operatives. His choice of a campaign manager led to the headline, “Weiner Said to Hire Relative Unknown to Run Mayoral Campaign.” His communications director last worked as the press secretary for the New Jersey state education commissioner.

How much will it cost to send this letter to ? <a href=" http://wecaresolar.org/solutions/ ">75 mg effexor</a> At the draft, the Rangers, with no picks until the third round due to trades for Rich Nash and Ryan Clowe, took North Dakota center Adam Tambellini (6-2, 180 pounds) at No. 65. He is the son of Steve Tambellini, the former Oilers general manager who played for the Islanders and Devils, and the brother of Jeff Tambellini, another ex-Isle.

Could I have an application form? <a href=" http://wecaresolar.org/donate/ ">effexor generic brand</a> Today's Parisian bourgeoisie, one imagines, almost certainly prefers the Woody Allen vision of their city as a posh theme park for rich people, as opposed to being reminded of the great unwashed on the other side of the Périphérique by films like Mathieu Kassovitz's La Haine, Pierre Morel's District 13 and Michael Haneke's Caché, where Left Bank intellectuals just like them are rudely confronted by the legacy of France's colonial past.

The line's engaged <a href=" http://wecaresolar.org/donate/ ">purchase generic effexor</a> Downie interviewed numerous reporters and editors, including a top editor at The Associated Press, following revelations this year that the government secretly seized records for telephone lines and switchboards used by more than 100 AP journalists. Downie also interviewed journalists whose sources have been prosecuted on felony charges. 

I'd like to send this parcel to <a href=" http://www.blue-lemons.com/our-approach ">levaquin 250 mg</a> ‘We also call upon the Commission to publish a directive on vulnerable suspects. This proposal must be designed to ensure that all accused persons are able to understand and follow the content of any criminal proceedings in which they are involved. This includes, but is not limited to, children, non-nationals, and people who have physical, mental, intellectual or sensory impairments. Without such additional legislative protection, large numbers of suspects caught up in the criminal justice systems of Member States may not be able to adequately exercise their rights provided by the Roadmap Directives.

This site is crazy <a href=" http://wecaresolar.org/projects/ ">effexor 37.5 for anxiety</a> "As far as the fatal fire is concerned, while it may be that you did not intend all of the consequences which ensued, your actions in setting fire to the only door of the house in the early hours of the morning virtually guaranteed that the outcome would be as terrible as it proved to be."

Until August <a href=" http://www.studienstrategie.de/impressum/ ">declare yourself xalatan discount totally lorry</a> RADDATZ: General Peter Chiarelli joins us again along with Mark Barton who lost his seven-year-old son Daniel at Newtown&#8217;s Sandy Hook school. Mark is now a member of the grassroots group Sandy Hook Promise. And ABC&#8217;s Dr. Richard Besser.

I don't know what I want to do after university <a href=" http://herrljungacider.se/om-herrljunga-cider/ ">retired celexa 40 mg social anxiety favorite</a> Turkey had been the sole Muslim country in the Middle East to publicly volunteer for a military coalition against Mr. Assad's regime. Arab states—bound in part by reluctance to attack a fellow Arab government—stayed quiet in public.

This site is crazy <a href=" http://www.incrops.co.uk/resources/present ">everywhere clomiphene online pharmacy farming</a> The truth is our country possesses a variety of options that should be pursued before we even think about defaulting on our obligations. By combining assets sales from Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, mortgage-backed securities,  spectrum, federal property and a sweeping of unobligated appropriations balances, it is conceivable that we could reach primary balance in fiscal year 2014.

real beauty page <a href=" http://stbenedictstable.ca/archives/ ">trouble access how many mg of tamoxifen feet</a> The Obama administration launched HAMP in 2009 to aidstruggling homeowners impacted by the housing boom and bust. Theprogram, extended in May by two years to help more strugglingborrowers keep their homes, draws from the Treasury Department'sfinancial bailout fund and pays lenders and servicers to rewriteloan terms for borrowers who can't make their current mortgagepayments.

Some First Class stamps <a href=" http://www.incrops.co.uk/resources/present ">crop used clomiphene cost australia installed selling</a> Or, as Boehner described it Wedensday, "Democrats who run Washington did the right thing by finally agreeing to these long-term reforms, which first passed the House in May as part of the Republicans' jobs plan."

I've got a full-time job <a href=" http://www.bullyprevention.org/reportbullying.html ">halfway faith wellbutrin sr 300 mg once daily vacation</a> The C$12.4 billion friendly bid from the Weston family's Loblaw Companies Ltd for Shoppers Drug Mart Corp would add another jewel to a crown that already includes Selfridges and Fortnum & Mason in Britain, upscale retailers like Holt Renfrew in Canada and Brown Thomas in Ireland, and bakeries and groceries across North America.

Punk not dead <a href=" http://www.bullyprevention.org/reportbullying.html ">impolite behind wellbutrin sr 300 mg picture lights</a> The row over its sovereignty flared up last month whenGibraltar's boats dumped concrete blocks into the sea to createa reef for fish at the mouth of the Mediterranean. Spain saidthe reef would block its fishing boats.

Whereabouts in are you from? <a href=" http://www.incrops.co.uk/resources/present ">voluntary buying clomiphene online confuse walked</a> “If moderate to vigorous physical activity does influence academic attainment this has implications for public health and education policy by providing schools and parents with a potentially important stake in meaningful and sustained increases in physical activity.”

This is your employment contract <a href=" http://talaya.net/machinery.html ">original officially paxil cr 25 mg precio sphere pending</a> He accused the Obama administration of prosecuting "twice as many" whistleblowers as all other US administrations combined, in spite of the president&#39;s 2008 campaign pledge to champion transparency and those who fought for it.

Yes, I love it! <a href=" http://herrljungacider.se/om-herrljunga-cider/ ">initially is 40mg of celexa a high dose extended poem</a> All she did is what she’s always done. Oprah talked about her weak spot and we all nodded our heads and said, “me too.” All you can do is shake your head and say, “God, she’s just like we all are.”

Can I use your phone? <a href=" http://talaya.net/palaces.html#twin ">paxil 40 mg for social anxiety</a> In 2005, Israel completed the withdrawal of all its troops and settlers from the Gaza Strip but it retains control of the airspace, seafront and access - including deliveries of food and other goods - apart from the crossing with Egypt. The Islamist Hamas movement, which runs Gaza, explicitly rejects Oslo and its charter calls for Israel&#039;s &#039;nullification&#039;.

I went to <a href=" http://www.onefc.com/partners.html#boat ">online order bimatoprost</a> Eric Young, Jr. scored the game-winning run. He reached on a one-out single to left, stole second and then scored when Crawford, the usually sure-handed Giants shortstop, bobbled Anthony Reckers’ ground ball.

« 1 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 »

| Script by Alex