Pamiętnikiem opiekuje się Kenaya

[ Powr�t ]

Środa, 07 Listopada, 2007, 18:11

BEZPOWROTNIE STRACONA JEST KA�DA CHWILA...

No wi�c najwy�szy czas na notk�. W ko�cu znalaz�am czas, mia�am ochot� i nic mi nie przeszkadza�o. Czy wynagrodzi Wam to d�ugie czekanie? Oby
Sa przemy�lenia jak obieca�am, z g��bi serduszka, mojego oczywi�cie. Nie przed�u�aj�c...

***************************************************

2 listopad, sobota, 1991

Cudownie jest przechadza� si� po szkole i widzie� tyle szcz�liwych twarzy. Zapomina si� wtedy o swoich problemach, daj�c swojemu umys�owi nie�wiadomy odpoczynek. Czy to ta pogoda tak nastraja ludzi? W tym roku jak nigdy run�a na nas poka�na ilo�� �niegu. Jezioro wspaniale zamarz�o , zach�caj�c do �lizgania si� po nim. Na dworze zimno, w zamku zimno, gdzie wi�c szukaj� ogrzania moi zaradni uczniowie? W ramionach swoich koleg�w, kole�anek, czy raczej ch�opak�w, dziewczyn. To cudowne, �e ludzie w ich wieku szukaj� blisko�ci drugiego cz�owieka, jest ona bowiem nam bardzo potrzebna. Czasem sobie nawet nie zdajemy sprawy jak bardzo nasza dusza i cia�o potrzebuj� aby je kto� przytuli�, pog�aska�, poca�owa�. Wracam wi�c do pytania, kt�re zada�em na samym pocz�tku. Czy to ta pogoda tak nastraja ludzi? �e s� tacy szcz�liwi? Nie. To obecno�� tej drugiej osoby, kt�ra dla ka�dego z nas znaczy bardzo wiele, a czasami nawet, jest ca�ym, ogromnym �wiatem.
Jednak w�r�d tych u�miechni�tych twarzy przewija�y si� co jaki� czas kompletne przeciwie�stwa. Smutna mina, wzrok sprawnie omijaj�cy wszystkie „pary”. Co w nich si� odbija? Zazdro��? �al? Smutek? Uczucie niesprawiedliwo�ci dotykaj�ce ich? Mo�e wszystko po trochu, a mo�e… to m�j ju�-nie-najlepszy wzrok sp�ata� mi figla i w rzeczywisto�ci ka�dy jest szcz�liwy? Pozostan� przy tej my�li. My�li pocieszaj�cej i podnosz�cej na duchu. Dlaczego si� tym tak bardzo przejmuj�? Nie czuj� si� wzgl�dem nich jak dyrektor, tylko ojciec, kt�ry chce aby jego dzieci by�y wiecznie u�miechni�te oraz aby dozna�y sympatii ze strony drugiego cz�owieka.

W �yciu widzia�em ju� wiele cierpienia, b�lu, opuszczenia, z ca�� pewno�ci� nie chc� nigdy wi�cej musie� na to patrze�. O wiele bardziej wol� gdy otacza mnie mi�o�� i przyja��. Zreszt� jak ka�dy, albo prawie ka�dy, Tom na pewno nie zawraca sobie swojej g�owy? umys�u? takimi b�ahostkami jak mi�o��. Pr�dzej ja przejd� na stron� ciemno�ci ni� on zapragnie mie� przyjaciela. �miercio�ercy by ju� tu pewnie wtr�cili swoje 2 knuty „Czarny Pan uwa�a mnie za swojego przyjaciela”. To z�udzenie, Riddle nigdy nie chcia�, nie chce i nie b�dzie chcia� mie� bliskiej osoby takiej do kochania i tulenia, do wy�alania si� i do s�uchania. Tom to bry�a lodu magicznie przemieniona w cz�owieka jednak nie posiadaj�ca �adnych pozytywnych jego stron, cech. On tak naprawd� nie �yje, on istnieje, ale nie �yje. Nie czerpie z �ycia �adnej jego zalet, przyjemno�ci . On po prostu jest, czy si� nam to podoba czy nie.

Hmm dziwna my�l mi w�a�nie przysz�a do g�owy. Mianowicie mo�e potrzebna nam taka posta�. Posta� bezwzgl�dna, okrutna, m�ciwa? Posta� Toma Riddle'a II, dzi�ki kt�remu zacz�li�my docenia� to co mamy, TYCH co mamy. Przed jego dzia�alno�ci�, �e si� tak wyra�� ludzie nie byli dla siebie najlepiej nastawieni. Istnia�a mi�dzy nimi niezgoda, a k��tnie w niekt�rych rodzinach by�y na porz�dku dziennym. Jednak gdy zacz�� pozbawia� nas tych cz�onk�w naszych rodzin, z kt�rymi zaczynali�my dzie� od niemi�ego „daj mi spok�j”, zacz�li�my ich docenia�. Ich i ich obecno�� w�r�d nas. Ju� nie liczy�o si� to, �e On by� dla Niej nieuprzejmy, Tamten przekl�� Tamtego, liczy�o si� tylko to, �e ich ju� nie ma, �e nasze serce poczu�o t� strat� i teraz cierpi ogromne katusze. Liczy�o si� to, �e zacz�li�my dostrzega� w tych ludziach rzeczy, na kt�re wtedy nie zwracali�my uwagi. Zacz�y dr�czy� nas wyrzuty sumienia, a g�owa nie chcia�a da� spokoju od ci�gle powtarzaj�cych si� s��w „ju� nigdy…”, „dlaczego nie…”.
Dlatego tak wa�ne jest aby dostrzec t� mi�o��. Zauwa�y� j� w ludziach nas otaczaj�cych i odwdzi�cza� si� im tym samym. Nie ma nic gorszego ni� ca�e dnie sp�dza� sam na sam z w�asnym „ja” stroni�c od innych. Cz�owiek jest ju� tak zbudowany. Potrzebuje mi�o�ci i blisko�ci kogo� drugiego, w samotno�ci pogr��a si� w otch�ani, w kt�rej nie ma cho�by p�omyka nadziei.


"Bezpowrotnie stracona jest ka�da chwila, kt�rej nie wype�nia mi�o��."*





*Torquato Tasso; www.mysli.com.pl

Komentarze:

I'd like to send this parcel to http://dalit.dk/omos/ effexor xr cost So it was only after the War that the sport returned. First occupying British soldiers set up matches, then immigration in the 1960s and 1970s bought cricket-loving Indians and Pakistanis to the country. But the explosion in the German game over the last five years has been incredible: the number of clubs has doubled from 55 to 110. And, while the national team are almost all of Indian extraction, around 50 per cent of young cricketers now are native-born German.

I'm doing an internship http://apmc.ie/membership/ price of lexapro The award was one of the largest by a U.S. jury in a patentinfringement case, following a $1.05 billion award monthsearlier to Apple Inc against Samsung Electronics Co concerning the design of smartphones.

I'd like to pay this cheque in, please http://apmc.ie/membership/ escitalopram canada The Obama administration has remained silent about the exact number of troops that would remain in Afghanistan and what still needs to be discussed to achieve the so-called Bilateral Security Agreement.

I do some voluntary work http://www.chase.ie/it-recruitment/ paxil 40 mg tablets This pilot could either be rolled out to other provinces, orpolicymakers could establish a new centralised system organisedalong similar lines, the Chinese Academy of Social Sciences'Zheng told state media in July.

What do you like doing in your spare time? http://www.chase.ie/it-recruitment/ are paxil and zoloft the same North Dakota has experienced a surge in output after tappinginto the giant Bakken shale formation which straddles the U.S.and Canadian border, turning the region into the second-largestoil producing state in the United States.

Could you ask her to call me? http://www.aprilborbon.com/writing/ order vermox online "I have found over the years, having worked with many entrepreneurs, and having met hundreds of them, that they all have, in their backgrounds, a close family member or friend who is a role model, a self-employed person or boss running their own company."

magic story very thanks http://www.aprilborbon.com/writing/ purchase mebendazole Other contract wins include the design and build a 1,000 space, seven-storey car park in Stockport, worth £7.9 million, and the refurbishment of the Righton Building at Manchester metropolitan University, worth £4.1 million.

Pleased to meet you http://www.gaffw.com/benefeciaries/ buy celecoxib “I had a drug issue, alcohol issues,” he says. “And I’m working on that. With the running and what they do at [the facility he’s in], it’s kind of helping me put my life back together.”

Very interesting tale http://www.gaffw.com/benefeciaries/ generic celecoxib Lala has a well-recognized brand name in Mexico with justover half of the country's market for milk and cream and about athird of the market for pre-packaged cheese, according to ACNielsen figures cited by the company.

I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name http://www.abacoeco.com/discover-abaco/ celexa zombie “They’re both at work,” said next-door neighbor John Blanco, adjusting flowers in front of a statue of the Blessed Mother. “He works construction, I think. His wife leaves at 7 every morning to work in an office in Long Island. Comes home at 7. Both work hard. Awful they get attacked because of their color.”

I've got a part-time job http://www.abacoeco.com/discover-abaco/ celexa online canada “What I typically recommend for individuals who I see who have had heart disease or have high cholesterol, I recommend they eat no more than three egg yolks per week and then as much of the egg white as they want,” Cimperman said.  â€œBeing conscious of the quantity they’re eating can be helpful.”

What are the hours of work? <a href=" http://www.bleepstreet.com/x-contact/ ">topamax tablets 25mg</a> The MPS says that the bribes were generally paid through travel agencies or as "project sponsorships". GSK is also suspected of being involved in tax-related crime, according to the ministry which says that the offences have been occurring "for some time, involving a large number of people and significant amounts of money".

Withdraw cash http://www.euniceproductions.com/pixelmaniacs/ dapoxetine buy online In remarks at the White House, Obama said "we should pass afarm bill, one that American farmers and ranchers can depend on;one that protects vulnerable children and adults in times ofneed; one that gives rural communities opportunities to grow andthe long-term certainty that they deserve."

What do you do? <a href=" http://www.bleepstreet.com/x-contact/ ">topamax 25mg tablets</a> After all, the organization's No. 1 in the AHL, Cam Talbot, made some solid saves while splitting each of the Rangers' first two preseason games, and now he also is on the current 10-day road trip to western Canada. Talbot could see work in the team's final preseason game Sept. 27 in Las Vegas.

Another service? http://www.euniceproductions.com/pixelmaniacs/ dapoxetine tablet Actor Patrick Stone said the problem goes beyond offering condoms to performers, and noted at the press conference that Kink.com had scheduled him for a film shoot despite the fact that he had received a false-positive HIV test.

Will I have to work on Saturdays? <a href=" http://sportsradiony.com/about/ny-hockey-talk/ ">can wellbutrin xl 300 mg be cut in half</a> So, seeing as Cara is literally wearing a look from next summer&#39;s collection it sadly isn&#39;t available to buy right now but there are loads of lovely bandeau minis out there to keep us going until Cara&#39;s dress finally hits the stores. We&#39;ve taken a look around and love the French Connection frock at Asos - it&#39;s massively reduced as well so get in there now before it sells out.

Your account's overdrawn http://www.rsp.fr/seminaires.html provera price &#8220;It&#8217;s definitely sometimes challenging and difficult, but I think like with all of us that are juggling many things, a good healthy schedule helps,&#8221; she said. &#8220;And you have to schedule your life in. You have to schedule your time off in.&#8221;

How much is a Second Class stamp? <a href=" http://sportsradiony.com/about/ny-hockey-talk/ ">wellbutrin xl 300 mg dosage</a> "I can’t understand it. I don’t want to be blamed for being a hysterical mother trying to defend her son, talking about the other side as being terrible. I try to look intellectually on this and try to see what has happened and why it has happened. But I still can't understand why. I have so many questions."

US dollars http://www.rsp.fr/seminaires.html buy cheap provera Palestinian cities are extremely overcrowded with no open areas or parks for families and the children. In the intervening years I have suggested to my family having a picnic visit to areas within Zone C but everybody around has warned me against such a plan. I now know why. I feel frustrated because Wadi Qana is an ideal place for West Bank families to visit, but for at least three years not even a single Palestinian family has gone there. I am not alone in my genuine belief that we all live in a big prison carefully designed by the Israelis.

A pension scheme <a href=" http://youkali.com/?page_id=16 ">cost of erythromycin eye ointment</a> “We go through a pretty rigorous scenario where we look at multiple threats being thrown out at the U.S. equity markets,” said Karl Schimmeck, vice president of financial services operations at SIFMA.

« 1 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 »

| Script by Alex