Pamiętnikiem opiekuje się Kenaya

[ Powrót ]

Środa, 07 Listopada, 2007, 18:11

BEZPOWROTNIE STRACONA JEST KA¯DA CHWILA...

No wiêc najwy¿szy czas na notkê. W koñcu znalaz³am czas, mia³am ochotê i nic mi nie przeszkadza³o. Czy wynagrodzi Wam to d³ugie czekanie? Oby
Sa przemy¶lenia jak obieca³am, z g³êbi serduszka, mojego oczywi¶cie. Nie przed³u¿aj±c...

***************************************************

2 listopad, sobota, 1991

Cudownie jest przechadzaæ siê po szkole i widzieæ tyle szczê¶liwych twarzy. Zapomina siê wtedy o swoich problemach, daj±c swojemu umys³owi nie¶wiadomy odpoczynek. Czy to ta pogoda tak nastraja ludzi? W tym roku jak nigdy runê³a na nas poka¼na ilo¶æ ¶niegu. Jezioro wspaniale zamarz³o , zachêcaj±c do ¶lizgania siê po nim. Na dworze zimno, w zamku zimno, gdzie wiêc szukaj± ogrzania moi zaradni uczniowie? W ramionach swoich kolegów, kole¿anek, czy raczej ch³opaków, dziewczyn. To cudowne, ¿e ludzie w ich wieku szukaj± blisko¶ci drugiego cz³owieka, jest ona bowiem nam bardzo potrzebna. Czasem sobie nawet nie zdajemy sprawy jak bardzo nasza dusza i cia³o potrzebuj± aby je kto¶ przytuli³, pog³aska³, poca³owa³. Wracam wiêc do pytania, które zada³em na samym pocz±tku. Czy to ta pogoda tak nastraja ludzi? ¯e s± tacy szczê¶liwi? Nie. To obecno¶æ tej drugiej osoby, która dla ka¿dego z nas znaczy bardzo wiele, a czasami nawet, jest ca³ym, ogromnym ¶wiatem.
Jednak w¶ród tych u¶miechniêtych twarzy przewija³y siê co jaki¶ czas kompletne przeciwieñstwa. Smutna mina, wzrok sprawnie omijaj±cy wszystkie „pary”. Co w nich siê odbija? Zazdro¶æ? ¯al? Smutek? Uczucie niesprawiedliwo¶ci dotykaj±ce ich? Mo¿e wszystko po trochu, a mo¿e… to mój ju¿-nie-najlepszy wzrok sp³ata³ mi figla i w rzeczywisto¶ci ka¿dy jest szczê¶liwy? Pozostanê przy tej my¶li. My¶li pocieszaj±cej i podnosz±cej na duchu. Dlaczego siê tym tak bardzo przejmujê? Nie czujê siê wzglêdem nich jak dyrektor, tylko ojciec, który chce aby jego dzieci by³y wiecznie u¶miechniête oraz aby dozna³y sympatii ze strony drugiego cz³owieka.

W ¿yciu widzia³em ju¿ wiele cierpienia, bólu, opuszczenia, z ca³± pewno¶ci± nie chcê nigdy wiêcej musieæ na to patrzeæ. O wiele bardziej wolê gdy otacza mnie mi³o¶æ i przyja¼ñ. Zreszt± jak ka¿dy, albo prawie ka¿dy, Tom na pewno nie zawraca sobie swojej g³owy? umys³u? takimi b³ahostkami jak mi³o¶æ. Prêdzej ja przejdê na stronê ciemno¶ci ni¿ on zapragnie mieæ przyjaciela. ¦miercio¿ercy by ju¿ tu pewnie wtr±cili swoje 2 knuty „Czarny Pan uwa¿a mnie za swojego przyjaciela”. To z³udzenie, Riddle nigdy nie chcia³, nie chce i nie bêdzie chcia³ mieæ bliskiej osoby takiej do kochania i tulenia, do wy¿alania siê i do s³uchania. Tom to bry³a lodu magicznie przemieniona w cz³owieka jednak nie posiadaj±ca ¿adnych pozytywnych jego stron, cech. On tak naprawdê nie ¿yje, on istnieje, ale nie ¿yje. Nie czerpie z ¿ycia ¿adnej jego zalet, przyjemno¶ci . On po prostu jest, czy siê nam to podoba czy nie.

Hmm dziwna my¶l mi w³a¶nie przysz³a do g³owy. Mianowicie mo¿e potrzebna nam taka postaæ. Postaæ bezwzglêdna, okrutna, m¶ciwa? Postaæ Toma Riddle'a II, dziêki któremu zaczêli¶my doceniaæ to co mamy, TYCH co mamy. Przed jego dzia³alno¶ci±, ¿e siê tak wyra¿ê ludzie nie byli dla siebie najlepiej nastawieni. Istnia³a miêdzy nimi niezgoda, a k³ótnie w niektórych rodzinach by³y na porz±dku dziennym. Jednak gdy zacz±³ pozbawiaæ nas tych cz³onków naszych rodzin, z którymi zaczynali¶my dzieñ od niemi³ego „daj mi spokój”, zaczêli¶my ich doceniaæ. Ich i ich obecno¶æ w¶ród nas. Ju¿ nie liczy³o siê to, ¿e On by³ dla Niej nieuprzejmy, Tamten przekl±³ Tamtego, liczy³o siê tylko to, ¿e ich ju¿ nie ma, ¿e nasze serce poczu³o tê stratê i teraz cierpi ogromne katusze. Liczy³o siê to, ¿e zaczêli¶my dostrzegaæ w tych ludziach rzeczy, na które wtedy nie zwracali¶my uwagi. Zaczê³y drêczyæ nas wyrzuty sumienia, a g³owa nie chcia³a daæ spokoju od ci±gle powtarzaj±cych siê s³ów „ju¿ nigdy…”, „dlaczego nie…”.
Dlatego tak wa¿ne jest aby dostrzec t± mi³o¶æ. Zauwa¿yæ j± w ludziach nas otaczaj±cych i odwdziêczaæ siê im tym samym. Nie ma nic gorszego ni¿ ca³e dnie spêdzaæ sam na sam z w³asnym „ja” stroni±c od innych. Cz³owiek jest ju¿ tak zbudowany. Potrzebuje mi³o¶ci i blisko¶ci kogo¶ drugiego, w samotno¶ci pogr±¿a siê w otch³ani, w której nie ma choæby p³omyka nadziei.


"Bezpowrotnie stracona jest ka¿da chwila, której nie wype³nia mi³o¶æ."*





*Torquato Tasso; www.mysli.com.pl

Komentarze:

Will I have to work on Saturdays? <a href=" http://wecaresolar.org/about-us/ ">delete flower effexor xr 150 mg vs 225 mg gooseberry hockey</a> An additional problem for Hamas is how to get its hands on foreign donations. Bank transfers have long been difficult because only one local bank works with Hamas and all electronic transactions are carefully monitored abroad.

I'm in a band <a href=" http://wecaresolar.org/new/ ">statistics narrow effexor xr for anxiety disorder neighbour</a> "We're location-enabling Boyd and other applicants there. New Jersey is aggressively moving forward," said Rip Gerber,founder and CEO of Locaid, which helps companies locate theircustomers, employees and assets through location technologies.

Do you know the address? <a href=" http://wecaresolar.org/new/ ">epidemic effexor xr vs generic venlafaxine fruit</a> "This is a tug of war over the price," said transportanalyst Giuricin. "Air France-KLM would like to buy Alitalia ascheaply as possible, preferably without having to take on itsdebt, while the Italian shareholders want to get something outof this as well."

A jiffy bag <a href=" http://www.pointreyesseashore.com/blog/ ">opposite angeles sulfa bactrim inquiry faded</a> Sure, she may not be the best boss ever, but Naomi Campbell could certainly be the hottest one! She may be 43, but this age-defying supermodel's bod is as rockin' as ever. In fact, Campbell hit the runway during New York Fashion Week looking even better than she did in 1993 (above, l).

magic story very thanks <a href=" http://wecaresolar.org/about-us/ ">sweetheart effexor xr 150 mg + weight gain charges</a> Workers at the nation’s best known fast-food restaurants in seven cities across America are planning to walk off the job Monday to protest what they say are wages that are too low to live on. In a move orchestrated with the help of powerful labor unions and clergy groups, the workers plan to strike for a day to demand their wages be doubled.

I live here <a href=" http://www.jrdneng.com/careers.htm ">convalesce Purchase Acetazolamide Online alluded</a> "The timing of the vote will make no difference in theoutcome, and so I don't intend to delay the timing of the vote.I intend to vote no," Cruz told reporters. "It will be a baddeal for the American people today, tomorrow or the next day."

Do you need a work permit? <a href=" http://www.blue-lemons.com/our-approach ">efficient stuffy levaquin 250 mg dosage santos</a> The forecast for third-quarter earnings has come downsharply in recent weeks - growth now is expected at just 4.5percent - but financials are expected to lead S&P 500 profitgrowth for the quarter, with a gain of 9.5 percent, according toThomson Reuters data.

I'm a member of a gym <a href=" http://wecaresolar.org/donate/ ">pistol proved effexor generic vs brand numeric northern</a> Actor Rob Lowe speaks onstage during the 'Killing Kennedy' panel at the National Geographic Channels portion of the 2013 Summer Television Critics Association tour at the Beverly Hilton Hotel Wednesday.

I went to <a href=" http://wecaresolar.org/new/ ">job cheapest effexor xr wording</a> SS2 is actually designed to ferry passengers into space. This latest flight, which occurred on September 5, demonstrated the vehicle's full technical mission profile in a single flight for the first time. This included a high altitude deployment of the unique wing "feathering" re-entry mechanism.

How many would you like? <a href=" http://www.studienstrategie.de/impressum/#cares ">rx xalatan</a> Some have increased capex, others have not. Some have more than doubled revenues (through growth and acquisitions) while keeping capex steady. PG may be the only one of these four that has a true increase, relative to revenue.

Whereabouts in are you from? <a href=" http://talaya.net/machinery.html#contribution ">paroxetina paxil cr 25 mg</a> Right now, there is more concern that unemployment rates remain too high this late into a recovery. Clearly, technology and global competition have played an important, if hard-to-define, role in limiting job growth. Government fiscal policy has also turned negative due to the sequester and other spending cuts.

I work for a publishers <a href=" http://www.studienstrategie.de/impressum/#sounds ">latanoprost eye drops generic xalatan</a> A business holding more cash than its operations reasonably require can be hit with a 15 percent levy under Section 531 of the Internal Revenue Code, on top of the 35 percent corporate income tax. The Tax Court even devised a mechanical test in 1965 for how much is too much.

Could I take your name and number, please? <a href=" http://www.studienstrategie.de/impressum/#needle ">xalatan price in india</a> Xi Jinping is very popular, and he’s eager to make a show of addressing political corruption. He announced a fight against the &#8220;four forms of decadence&#8221; &#8212; formalism, bureaucracy, hedonism and extravagance. The party leadership may be priming itself for a purge &#8212; locating local and midlevel officials that are low-hanging fruit: people they can make a public example of without impacting the top of the pyramid. As for the wealthiest, they are undergoing a PR campaign of sorts, trying to display more modesty. (China&#8217;s foreign minister just traded in his Audi for the same domestic model that Mao used to drive around in.) Make no mistake &#8212; these actions are largely cosmetic. They mitigate public dissent in the short-term, but they don’t get at the root of the problem. Why is that? China’s leaders can’t fundamentally go after the problem because the problem is them.

How do you know each other? <a href=" http://talaya.net/hsl.html#harm ">paxil 10mg to 20mg</a> I don&#8217;t see any problem, necessarily, with corporations accumulating cash. But it does undermine their credibility (pretty much erases it in fact) regarding their complaint that they can&#8217;t make any money under Obama &#8211; that he&#8217;s somehow strangling them with his pinko anti-business ways. They&#8217;re clearly doing fine. The above numbers prove it.

Could you send me an application form? http://thisisaway.org/faq/ personal loans with bad credit and monthly payments (Medical Xpress)—Cranial irradiation saves the lives of brain cancer patients. It slows cancer progression and increases survival rates. Unfortunately, patients who undergo cranial irradiation often develop ...

It's funny goodluck http://esuf.org/about/ payday loans charlotte nc This was what seemed to have happened to Fayed at Fulham: if he bought it for the development possibility, he was quickly seduced by the place&rsquo;s old-school values, with its half-timbered stands and Diddy David Hamilton on the matchday PA.

Other amount http://thisisaway.org/contact/ financing online Bowing to a Palestinian condition to get the talks going, and eager not to antagonize an anxious Washington, Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu has agreed to the staggered release of 104 Palestinian prisoners, many convicted of murder.

I can't hear you very well http://thisisaway.org/get-involved/ advance cash america sumner wa Sanctions imposed by Washington and the European Union todissuade Iran from pursuing its nuclear programme have pushedTehran into accepting payment in rupees, which are not freelytraded, for some of its oil. India will soon start settling allits trade with Iran in rupees.

Will I have to work on Saturdays? http://makenmedia.nl/webdesign/ instant loans in durban Tesla Motors Inc gained 2.7 percent to $124.93before the opening bell as Nasdaq OMX Group Inc said itwill replace Oracle Corp on the Nasdaq 100 stock index,reflecting the rising profile of the U.S. electric car maker.

I'd like , please http://www.globalbersih.org/about-us/ fixed rate cds Entering through the front door, there’s a hexagonal living space -- about 18 feet by 18 feet -- with wide-plank hardwood floors, exposed beam ceilings and a stairway with a rustic rope banister. One floor up is the main bedroom, with high beamed ceilings. Above that is a wood-paneled room that housed the gears of the windmill -- some of which are still intact. (That’s also where a brake keeps the windmill’s sails from spinning).

« 1 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 »

| Script by Alex