Pamiętnikiem opiekuje się Kenaya

[ Powrót ]

Środa, 07 Listopada, 2007, 18:11

BEZPOWROTNIE STRACONA JEST KA¯DA CHWILA...

No wiêc najwy¿szy czas na notkê. W koñcu znalaz³am czas, mia³am ochotê i nic mi nie przeszkadza³o. Czy wynagrodzi Wam to d³ugie czekanie? Oby
Sa przemy¶lenia jak obieca³am, z g³êbi serduszka, mojego oczywi¶cie. Nie przed³u¿aj±c...

***************************************************

2 listopad, sobota, 1991

Cudownie jest przechadzaæ siê po szkole i widzieæ tyle szczê¶liwych twarzy. Zapomina siê wtedy o swoich problemach, daj±c swojemu umys³owi nie¶wiadomy odpoczynek. Czy to ta pogoda tak nastraja ludzi? W tym roku jak nigdy runê³a na nas poka¼na ilo¶æ ¶niegu. Jezioro wspaniale zamarz³o , zachêcaj±c do ¶lizgania siê po nim. Na dworze zimno, w zamku zimno, gdzie wiêc szukaj± ogrzania moi zaradni uczniowie? W ramionach swoich kolegów, kole¿anek, czy raczej ch³opaków, dziewczyn. To cudowne, ¿e ludzie w ich wieku szukaj± blisko¶ci drugiego cz³owieka, jest ona bowiem nam bardzo potrzebna. Czasem sobie nawet nie zdajemy sprawy jak bardzo nasza dusza i cia³o potrzebuj± aby je kto¶ przytuli³, pog³aska³, poca³owa³. Wracam wiêc do pytania, które zada³em na samym pocz±tku. Czy to ta pogoda tak nastraja ludzi? ¯e s± tacy szczê¶liwi? Nie. To obecno¶æ tej drugiej osoby, która dla ka¿dego z nas znaczy bardzo wiele, a czasami nawet, jest ca³ym, ogromnym ¶wiatem.
Jednak w¶ród tych u¶miechniêtych twarzy przewija³y siê co jaki¶ czas kompletne przeciwieñstwa. Smutna mina, wzrok sprawnie omijaj±cy wszystkie „pary”. Co w nich siê odbija? Zazdro¶æ? ¯al? Smutek? Uczucie niesprawiedliwo¶ci dotykaj±ce ich? Mo¿e wszystko po trochu, a mo¿e… to mój ju¿-nie-najlepszy wzrok sp³ata³ mi figla i w rzeczywisto¶ci ka¿dy jest szczê¶liwy? Pozostanê przy tej my¶li. My¶li pocieszaj±cej i podnosz±cej na duchu. Dlaczego siê tym tak bardzo przejmujê? Nie czujê siê wzglêdem nich jak dyrektor, tylko ojciec, który chce aby jego dzieci by³y wiecznie u¶miechniête oraz aby dozna³y sympatii ze strony drugiego cz³owieka.

W ¿yciu widzia³em ju¿ wiele cierpienia, bólu, opuszczenia, z ca³± pewno¶ci± nie chcê nigdy wiêcej musieæ na to patrzeæ. O wiele bardziej wolê gdy otacza mnie mi³o¶æ i przyja¼ñ. Zreszt± jak ka¿dy, albo prawie ka¿dy, Tom na pewno nie zawraca sobie swojej g³owy? umys³u? takimi b³ahostkami jak mi³o¶æ. Prêdzej ja przejdê na stronê ciemno¶ci ni¿ on zapragnie mieæ przyjaciela. ¦miercio¿ercy by ju¿ tu pewnie wtr±cili swoje 2 knuty „Czarny Pan uwa¿a mnie za swojego przyjaciela”. To z³udzenie, Riddle nigdy nie chcia³, nie chce i nie bêdzie chcia³ mieæ bliskiej osoby takiej do kochania i tulenia, do wy¿alania siê i do s³uchania. Tom to bry³a lodu magicznie przemieniona w cz³owieka jednak nie posiadaj±ca ¿adnych pozytywnych jego stron, cech. On tak naprawdê nie ¿yje, on istnieje, ale nie ¿yje. Nie czerpie z ¿ycia ¿adnej jego zalet, przyjemno¶ci . On po prostu jest, czy siê nam to podoba czy nie.

Hmm dziwna my¶l mi w³a¶nie przysz³a do g³owy. Mianowicie mo¿e potrzebna nam taka postaæ. Postaæ bezwzglêdna, okrutna, m¶ciwa? Postaæ Toma Riddle'a II, dziêki któremu zaczêli¶my doceniaæ to co mamy, TYCH co mamy. Przed jego dzia³alno¶ci±, ¿e siê tak wyra¿ê ludzie nie byli dla siebie najlepiej nastawieni. Istnia³a miêdzy nimi niezgoda, a k³ótnie w niektórych rodzinach by³y na porz±dku dziennym. Jednak gdy zacz±³ pozbawiaæ nas tych cz³onków naszych rodzin, z którymi zaczynali¶my dzieñ od niemi³ego „daj mi spokój”, zaczêli¶my ich doceniaæ. Ich i ich obecno¶æ w¶ród nas. Ju¿ nie liczy³o siê to, ¿e On by³ dla Niej nieuprzejmy, Tamten przekl±³ Tamtego, liczy³o siê tylko to, ¿e ich ju¿ nie ma, ¿e nasze serce poczu³o tê stratê i teraz cierpi ogromne katusze. Liczy³o siê to, ¿e zaczêli¶my dostrzegaæ w tych ludziach rzeczy, na które wtedy nie zwracali¶my uwagi. Zaczê³y drêczyæ nas wyrzuty sumienia, a g³owa nie chcia³a daæ spokoju od ci±gle powtarzaj±cych siê s³ów „ju¿ nigdy…”, „dlaczego nie…”.
Dlatego tak wa¿ne jest aby dostrzec t± mi³o¶æ. Zauwa¿yæ j± w ludziach nas otaczaj±cych i odwdziêczaæ siê im tym samym. Nie ma nic gorszego ni¿ ca³e dnie spêdzaæ sam na sam z w³asnym „ja” stroni±c od innych. Cz³owiek jest ju¿ tak zbudowany. Potrzebuje mi³o¶ci i blisko¶ci kogo¶ drugiego, w samotno¶ci pogr±¿a siê w otch³ani, w której nie ma choæby p³omyka nadziei.


"Bezpowrotnie stracona jest ka¿da chwila, której nie wype³nia mi³o¶æ."*





*Torquato Tasso; www.mysli.com.pl

Komentarze:

I've just started at <a href=" http://www.fitexpress.com/customer-care.html ">purchase aldactone ll</a> The current account deficit, a broad measure of the flow of goods, services and money across national borders, dropped to $98.9 billion in the April-June period from a revised $104.9 billion in the prior period.

Could I order a new chequebook, please? <a href=" http://urbania4.org/english/ ">amitriptyline generic cost lo</a> Despite a government shutdown that has prevented NASA from updating its website or tweeting, the space agency&rsquo;s missions continue to operate. Earlier this week, NASA&rsquo;s newest spacecraft, LADEE, slipped into orbit around the moon.

Could you transfer $1000 from my current account to my deposit account? <a href=" http://daytrippers.org.uk/about/ ">xenical caps . 120 mg (rx) 񑲑Ⲣ𴱒񘟲oche cy</a> Dell shares ended trading on Tuesday down 1 percent to$13.02. That is below Michael Dell and Silver Lake's offer of$13.65 per share, indicating that more investors now see theoutcome of the buyout vote as uncertain.

I live here <a href=" http://daytrippers.org.uk/about/ ">orlistat generico ultrafarma nj</a> That’s no surprise, considering the two leaders of this 10-piece band are Derek Trucks, who spins glorious solos for the Allmans, and Susan Tedeschi, the grinding blues singer whose timbre bears a striking resemblance to Raitt’s.

How much does the job pay? <a href=" http://toolstolife.com/challenges/ ">kamagra 5 mg oral jelly bz</a> Even if the overall market does not improve, the EmpireState Building can reduce its vacancy rate, Knott said. As ofJune, the building was 78 percent occupied, according to aregulatory filing. But office space in the neighborhood adjacentto the building is relatively scarce, with just 8.7 percent ofthe square footage expected to be up for rent in the next 12months, according to real estate services company CassidyTurley.

I'm in my first year at university http://www.cleansingwithfood.com/store/ methotrexate for ra The labour representatives, which in Germany are entitled tohalf the supervisory board seats, voted against the dismissal ofpersonnel chief Ulrich Sieber and Jochen Kloesges, who isresponsible for non-core assets, the sources said on Monday.

What part of do you come from? <a href=" http://www.themininginsight.com/about ">zithromax 100 mg</a> Uncooperative weather conditions on San Francisco Bay have wreaked havoc on the race schedule all week. On Saturday, a southerly wind direction forced organizers to call off both scheduled races. The race course is set up for the Bay's dependable westerly sea breeze.

I'm a trainee <a href=" http://www.freedomfinancialllc.com/faqs/ ">buy proscar 5 mg</a> "There may be some short-term market moves ... but markets are getting increasingly immune to nonsense out of Washington," said Eric Stein, co-director of the Global Income Group at Eaton Vance in Boston, who manages more than $17 billion, including Eaton Vance Global Macro Absolute Return fund and Eaton Vance Strategic Income fund.

Could you please repeat that? http://www.cleansingwithfood.com/store/ buy cheap methotrexate "Yesterday, we saw what it means to be from our state," Christie said. "We are tough and we stand together in a crisis. ... You have once again showed what a resilient community Seaside Park and Seaside Heights are. You came to help those who were helping you and you showed your toughness and I appreciate seeing that again."

Will I have to work shifts? <a href=" http://misyte.com/our-process/ ">abilify 10mg reviews</a> In Friday's session, Boeing was the Dow's biggestdecliner. Boeing shares fell 4.7 percent to $101.87 aftera Dreamliner operated by Ethiopian Airlines caught fire atBritain's Heathrow airport on Friday.

I live in London <a href=" http://www.ayshaproductions.com/dfi.html ">tetracycline 250 mg capsule</a> Survivors' tales of Saturday's military-style, lunchtime assault by squads of attackers hurling grenades and spraying automatic fire, has left little doubt the hostage-takers are willing to kill. Previous such raids around the world suggest they may also be ready to die with their captives.

A financial advisor <a href=" http://misyte.com/our-process/ ">abilify 10 mg tablet medisch</a> "I don't trust the people who sit across the table from me in these negotiations," Sherman replied. The exchange quickly escalated when McCain interrupted her repeatedly on a timeline for this "test" of Iran's intentions.

Why did you come to ? <a href=" http://www.ayshaproductions.com/dfi.html ">tetracycline 250 mg uses</a> The VIP room gaming promoter said it may have to delay itsplanned listing on the Hong Kong stock exchange, citing theuntimely death of its sponsor's principal, who was in charge ofthe listing application. VIP rooms are exclusive areas withincasinos. (Compiled by Varun Aggarwal)

I wanted to live abroad <a href=" http://www.harrastajateatterikesa.fi/ohjelma/ ">nexium 20 mg powder packets</a> Analysts expect the company to launch a mobile version of Farm Heroes Saga, a game in which players must match 3 items, which is already Facebook's second-most popular app. King is already starting to roll out a mobile version of Papa Pear Saga, currently available on the web and on Facebook, in which players bounce and dive into barrels.

I'd like to transfer some money to this account <a href=" http://www.harrastajateatterikesa.fi/ohjelma/ ">20 mg nexium twice a day</a> That left open the possibility of a "grand coalition" withthe centre-left Social Democrats (SPD), who came a distantsecond. In the past, establishing a coalition accord has takenbetween four and eight weeks.

Another year <a href=" http://newcastlecomics.com/blog/ebay-store/ ">how to extract codeine from emtec 30</a> &#8220;This was reached by using a small number of editors to oversee a network of 1,100 contributors, only 25 of whom (2.3%) made more than $35,000, and only two of whom (0.2%) made more than $100,000.&#8221;

I've been cut off <a href=" http://newcastlecomics.com/blog/ebay-store/ ">codeine 30 mg dosage</a> - &ldquo;Good lefty professors&rdquo; who &ldquo;start calling the corporatized Internet &lsquo;revolutionary,&rsquo; happily embrace Apple computers, and persist in gushing about their virtues.&rdquo; (1, 4)

I'm afraid that number's ex-directory <a href=" http://futbolconcorazon.org/testimonios/ ">ventoline 0 4 mg ml annostus</a> There is a great deal of evidence that a simple exercise program, even just regular walking, can work against cancer-related fatigue, and that's what Alfano said she would most strongly recommend to patients.

How much is a First Class stamp? <a href=" http://futbolconcorazon.org/testimonios/ ">ventolin 0 4 mg/ml annostus</a> Citibank, I hasten to add, is doing me a favor here: the standard interest rate on this kind of loan is significantly higher than what I&#8217;m paying, at 18.25%. Still, my behavior doesn&#8217;t make a huge amount of sense. I have many thousands of dollars in the bank, earning an interest rate of basically zero. In fact, I had many thousands of dollars in the bank on March 11, when I borrowed that two hundred bucks. So, what was I thinking? Why did I borrow the money in the first place, and why have I been so miserly in terms of paying it back? Do I want to maximize the amount of money that Citibank extracts from me in interest payments? It certainly seems that way.

What qualifications have you got? <a href=" http://agrimeetings.com/contact-us/ ">tetracycline 500mg price</a> "Jeh Johnson had a distinguished career at the Pentagon where he has grappled with the challenges of protecting national security while respecting human rights and upholding American ideals," said Elisa Massimino, head of Human Rights First, in a statement.

« 1 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 »

| Script by Alex