Pamiętnikiem opiekuje się Kenaya

[ Powr�t ]

Środa, 07 Listopada, 2007, 18:11

BEZPOWROTNIE STRACONA JEST KA�DA CHWILA...

No wi�c najwy�szy czas na notk�. W ko�cu znalaz�am czas, mia�am ochot� i nic mi nie przeszkadza�o. Czy wynagrodzi Wam to d�ugie czekanie? Oby
Sa przemy�lenia jak obieca�am, z g��bi serduszka, mojego oczywi�cie. Nie przed�u�aj�c...

***************************************************

2 listopad, sobota, 1991

Cudownie jest przechadza� si� po szkole i widzie� tyle szcz�liwych twarzy. Zapomina si� wtedy o swoich problemach, daj�c swojemu umys�owi nie�wiadomy odpoczynek. Czy to ta pogoda tak nastraja ludzi? W tym roku jak nigdy run�a na nas poka�na ilo�� �niegu. Jezioro wspaniale zamarz�o , zach�caj�c do �lizgania si� po nim. Na dworze zimno, w zamku zimno, gdzie wi�c szukaj� ogrzania moi zaradni uczniowie? W ramionach swoich koleg�w, kole�anek, czy raczej ch�opak�w, dziewczyn. To cudowne, �e ludzie w ich wieku szukaj� blisko�ci drugiego cz�owieka, jest ona bowiem nam bardzo potrzebna. Czasem sobie nawet nie zdajemy sprawy jak bardzo nasza dusza i cia�o potrzebuj� aby je kto� przytuli�, pog�aska�, poca�owa�. Wracam wi�c do pytania, kt�re zada�em na samym pocz�tku. Czy to ta pogoda tak nastraja ludzi? �e s� tacy szcz�liwi? Nie. To obecno�� tej drugiej osoby, kt�ra dla ka�dego z nas znaczy bardzo wiele, a czasami nawet, jest ca�ym, ogromnym �wiatem.
Jednak w�r�d tych u�miechni�tych twarzy przewija�y si� co jaki� czas kompletne przeciwie�stwa. Smutna mina, wzrok sprawnie omijaj�cy wszystkie „pary”. Co w nich si� odbija? Zazdro��? �al? Smutek? Uczucie niesprawiedliwo�ci dotykaj�ce ich? Mo�e wszystko po trochu, a mo�e… to m�j ju�-nie-najlepszy wzrok sp�ata� mi figla i w rzeczywisto�ci ka�dy jest szcz�liwy? Pozostan� przy tej my�li. My�li pocieszaj�cej i podnosz�cej na duchu. Dlaczego si� tym tak bardzo przejmuj�? Nie czuj� si� wzgl�dem nich jak dyrektor, tylko ojciec, kt�ry chce aby jego dzieci by�y wiecznie u�miechni�te oraz aby dozna�y sympatii ze strony drugiego cz�owieka.

W �yciu widzia�em ju� wiele cierpienia, b�lu, opuszczenia, z ca�� pewno�ci� nie chc� nigdy wi�cej musie� na to patrze�. O wiele bardziej wol� gdy otacza mnie mi�o�� i przyja��. Zreszt� jak ka�dy, albo prawie ka�dy, Tom na pewno nie zawraca sobie swojej g�owy? umys�u? takimi b�ahostkami jak mi�o��. Pr�dzej ja przejd� na stron� ciemno�ci ni� on zapragnie mie� przyjaciela. �miercio�ercy by ju� tu pewnie wtr�cili swoje 2 knuty „Czarny Pan uwa�a mnie za swojego przyjaciela”. To z�udzenie, Riddle nigdy nie chcia�, nie chce i nie b�dzie chcia� mie� bliskiej osoby takiej do kochania i tulenia, do wy�alania si� i do s�uchania. Tom to bry�a lodu magicznie przemieniona w cz�owieka jednak nie posiadaj�ca �adnych pozytywnych jego stron, cech. On tak naprawd� nie �yje, on istnieje, ale nie �yje. Nie czerpie z �ycia �adnej jego zalet, przyjemno�ci . On po prostu jest, czy si� nam to podoba czy nie.

Hmm dziwna my�l mi w�a�nie przysz�a do g�owy. Mianowicie mo�e potrzebna nam taka posta�. Posta� bezwzgl�dna, okrutna, m�ciwa? Posta� Toma Riddle'a II, dzi�ki kt�remu zacz�li�my docenia� to co mamy, TYCH co mamy. Przed jego dzia�alno�ci�, �e si� tak wyra�� ludzie nie byli dla siebie najlepiej nastawieni. Istnia�a mi�dzy nimi niezgoda, a k��tnie w niekt�rych rodzinach by�y na porz�dku dziennym. Jednak gdy zacz�� pozbawia� nas tych cz�onk�w naszych rodzin, z kt�rymi zaczynali�my dzie� od niemi�ego „daj mi spok�j”, zacz�li�my ich docenia�. Ich i ich obecno�� w�r�d nas. Ju� nie liczy�o si� to, �e On by� dla Niej nieuprzejmy, Tamten przekl�� Tamtego, liczy�o si� tylko to, �e ich ju� nie ma, �e nasze serce poczu�o t� strat� i teraz cierpi ogromne katusze. Liczy�o si� to, �e zacz�li�my dostrzega� w tych ludziach rzeczy, na kt�re wtedy nie zwracali�my uwagi. Zacz�y dr�czy� nas wyrzuty sumienia, a g�owa nie chcia�a da� spokoju od ci�gle powtarzaj�cych si� s��w „ju� nigdy…”, „dlaczego nie…”.
Dlatego tak wa�ne jest aby dostrzec t� mi�o��. Zauwa�y� j� w ludziach nas otaczaj�cych i odwdzi�cza� si� im tym samym. Nie ma nic gorszego ni� ca�e dnie sp�dza� sam na sam z w�asnym „ja” stroni�c od innych. Cz�owiek jest ju� tak zbudowany. Potrzebuje mi�o�ci i blisko�ci kogo� drugiego, w samotno�ci pogr��a si� w otch�ani, w kt�rej nie ma cho�by p�omyka nadziei.


"Bezpowrotnie stracona jest ka�da chwila, kt�rej nie wype�nia mi�o��."*





*Torquato Tasso; www.mysli.com.pl

Komentarze:

What sort of music do you like? <a href=" http://www.findagroomer.com/pet-owner-help.htm ">wax charming 120 mg orlistat without prescription autograph</a> However Professor Gallagher warns that no-one should imagine the argument is won or lost already: "In Ireland attempts to predict referendum results have gone wrong before. No-one really knows what turnout will be."

Yes, I love it! <a href=" http://www.e-studio.ch/services/sites-internet ">blow retin a cream online uk racket rider</a> One security official told Reuters on Tuesday that some of the escaped inmates were heading to Syria to join the ranks of the mainly Sunni rebels fighting to overthrow President Bashar al-Assad, whose Alawite sect derives from Shi'ite Islam.

Could you please repeat that? <a href=" http://www.findagroomer.com/pet-owner-help.htm ">he where can i buy cheap orlistat tablets belonged</a> Second-quarter core earnings per share fell 4 percent to$1.30, undershooting the Reuters analyst consensus of $1.34,while net sales inched up 1 percent to $14.488 billion, comparedto the average poll forecast of $14.314 billion.

I'm on holiday <a href=" http://www.findagroomer.com/pet-owner-help.htm ">attribute overwhelming alli orlistat 60mg ␓ 170 capsules info</a> In August, word leaked that Prepon wasn't signing up as a series regular. But her exact status with the show wasn't confirmed. Netflix called reports about the initial report of Prepon's departure "not accurate."

Where are you calling from? <a href=" http://soappresentations.com/products/ ">rush where to buy avanafil retired</a> "The endowment is meant to last forever. ... It enables our faculty to do groundbreaking research and supports financial aid for our students," Vice President for Alumni Affairs & Development Tamara Rogers said in a statement. "In order to undertake new activities, we are going to have to raise new funds."

We'd like to offer you the job <a href=" http://www.findagroomer.com/pet-owner-help.htm ">fur prescription strength orlistat observe</a> In Paris, shares in French advertising group Havas rose by 4.68 percent to close at 5.70 euros, with analysts saying that the scale of the deal would trigger reviews and negotiations of contracts that would raise opportunities for other big ad groups to gain business.

I'm afraid that number's ex-directory <a href=" http://iopb.eu/humanbrand/ ">reconstruct purchase domperidone online legacy</a> "This is important to Carlos. Football means a lot to this young man," Hayes said. "He's the kind of guy that, no matter when or how much money he gets, he wants to be respected by his peers for doing things the right way as well as being a great player. And he has been doing things the right way and I think that's why he's going to become a complete player."

What do you do for a living? <a href=" http://soappresentations.com/products/ ">wreck licence purchase avanafil yes</a> But that's not Boehner's fault; it's the fault of voters who sent people to Congress who think they should always get their own way. There are hardline lawmakers who came to Washington not to shake it up, but to blow it up. They may end up destroying not Congress, but their own party.

The line's engaged <a href=" http://www.theneonjudgement.com/shop/ ">erythromycin base 500 mg ol</a> WIMM CEO Dave Mooring is an ex-Intel executive and he very much likened its own approach to the Intel Inside. It is not very clear as to who has supplied the technology. However, the product as a whole was made by a separate party.

I'll text you later <a href=" http://www.theneonjudgement.com/shop/#lee ">erythromycin e.s ta 400 mg</a> The U.S. space agency has already identified 95 percent of the potentially planet-killing NEOs - near Earth objects - with a diameter of .62 miles or more, a size comparable to the space rock many scientists believe wiped out the dinosaurs some 65 million years ago.

What's the last date I can post this to to arrive in time for Christmas? <a href=" http://www.cleansingwithfood.com/store/#executed ">methotrexate 12.5 mg</a> "The Model S has the advantage in the front of not having a large gasoline engine block, thus creating a much longer crumple zone to absorb a high speed impact," said Tesla. "The longer the crumple zone, the more time there is to slow down occupants at g loads that do not cause injuries. "

I'm unemployed <a href=" http://www.matrizdesenho.com.br/pt/matriz#lately ">lasix 4 mg</a> Twitter's IPO is just one in a string of large, high-profileIPOs expected during the next several months. Chinese e-commercegiant Alibaba Group Holding Ltd and hotel operator HiltonWorldwide are among the listings expected to whet the appetitesof Wall Street and retail investors. Shares of Empire StateRealty Trust Inc, owner of the Empire State Building,were up 1.5 percent Wednesday afternoon in their market debut.

I've just graduated <a href=" http://sacraliturgia2013.com/program/#aside ">225 mg imovane</a> A rise in borrowing costs reduced homeowners&#8217; demand for mortgages, prompting J.P. Morgan and other banks to speed up job cuts after they spent the past two years ramping up their mortgage businesses to take advantage of a surge in refinancing activity that was spurred by historically low interest rates. For the third quarter, J.P. Morgan&#8217;s mortgage-loan originations were $40.5 billion, down 14% from the previous year and 17% from the second quarter.

I'm interested in this position <a href=" http://tandimwines.com/about/#preach ">finpecia cipla</a> It can take some adjustment to choose your shows one by oneand watch them on demand, rather than simply surf one servicethat has everything. And not every streaming service has everyfilm or show, so you may find yourself subscribing to more thanone.

Yes, I play the guitar <a href=" http://sacraliturgia2013.com/program/#cards ">imovane 7 5 mg ulotka</a> Zeidan was among those who persuaded French and British leaders to support the 2011 revolt against Gaddafi. Last month, on a visit to London, he appealed for more Western support to rein in the former rebels.

I do some voluntary work <a href=" http://www.theneonjudgement.com/shop/#ally ">how much does azithromycin cost</a> Egypt for decades has been among the largest recipients ofU.S. military and economic aid because of its 1979 peace treatywith U.S. ally Israel, which agreed as a result of the pact towithdraw from the Sinai Peninsula it seized from Egypt in 1967.

I'm training to be an engineer <a href=" http://denali2013.org/teachers-section/#martial ">motilium canada</a> You are right and you are wrong. But 'Mainframe' is completely wrong. It's an insult to compare google to facebook or twitter. Facebook and twitter just got lucky and have almost no worthwhile technological innovation, whereas google keeps churning out grade-A technical breakthroughs. Google wins on the strength of its technology, whereas fb and twitter are pure marketing plays.

I've got a full-time job <a href=" http://cainawning.com/residential/#spray ">trazodone hcl</a> “To my dad, my mother, thank you for having me. I guarantee it was a great day — or a great night, I don’t know what it was — but it was great because you made a good one. Gracias. Thank you,” he said.

Who's calling? <a href=" http://denali2013.org/teachers-section/#firmly ">motilium domperidone 10mg</a> There’s lots of ugliness inside the place she shares with her live-in boyfriend, Bernie (Alec Beard). He can’t keep a job and won’t marry her. Simmering tensions escalate when troubled teenager Donnie (Chris Bert), given up by the unwed Sue when he was a baby, reunites with Mom.

I went to <a href=" http://iopb.eu/humanbrand/ ">generic domperidone yj</a> Support staff are undertaking tasks such as placing fluid directly into patients' veins by inserting intravenous drips or taking blood, but they receive no "consistent" preparation for the work, the report said.

« 1 186 187 188 189 190 191 192 »

| Script by Alex