Pamiętnikiem opiekuje się Kenaya

[ Powrót ]

Środa, 07 Listopada, 2007, 18:11

BEZPOWROTNIE STRACONA JEST KA¯DA CHWILA...

No wiêc najwy¿szy czas na notkê. W koñcu znalaz³am czas, mia³am ochotê i nic mi nie przeszkadza³o. Czy wynagrodzi Wam to d³ugie czekanie? Oby
Sa przemy¶lenia jak obieca³am, z g³êbi serduszka, mojego oczywi¶cie. Nie przed³u¿aj±c...

***************************************************

2 listopad, sobota, 1991

Cudownie jest przechadzaæ siê po szkole i widzieæ tyle szczê¶liwych twarzy. Zapomina siê wtedy o swoich problemach, daj±c swojemu umys³owi nie¶wiadomy odpoczynek. Czy to ta pogoda tak nastraja ludzi? W tym roku jak nigdy runê³a na nas poka¼na ilo¶æ ¶niegu. Jezioro wspaniale zamarz³o , zachêcaj±c do ¶lizgania siê po nim. Na dworze zimno, w zamku zimno, gdzie wiêc szukaj± ogrzania moi zaradni uczniowie? W ramionach swoich kolegów, kole¿anek, czy raczej ch³opaków, dziewczyn. To cudowne, ¿e ludzie w ich wieku szukaj± blisko¶ci drugiego cz³owieka, jest ona bowiem nam bardzo potrzebna. Czasem sobie nawet nie zdajemy sprawy jak bardzo nasza dusza i cia³o potrzebuj± aby je kto¶ przytuli³, pog³aska³, poca³owa³. Wracam wiêc do pytania, które zada³em na samym pocz±tku. Czy to ta pogoda tak nastraja ludzi? ¯e s± tacy szczê¶liwi? Nie. To obecno¶æ tej drugiej osoby, która dla ka¿dego z nas znaczy bardzo wiele, a czasami nawet, jest ca³ym, ogromnym ¶wiatem.
Jednak w¶ród tych u¶miechniêtych twarzy przewija³y siê co jaki¶ czas kompletne przeciwieñstwa. Smutna mina, wzrok sprawnie omijaj±cy wszystkie „pary”. Co w nich siê odbija? Zazdro¶æ? ¯al? Smutek? Uczucie niesprawiedliwo¶ci dotykaj±ce ich? Mo¿e wszystko po trochu, a mo¿e… to mój ju¿-nie-najlepszy wzrok sp³ata³ mi figla i w rzeczywisto¶ci ka¿dy jest szczê¶liwy? Pozostanê przy tej my¶li. My¶li pocieszaj±cej i podnosz±cej na duchu. Dlaczego siê tym tak bardzo przejmujê? Nie czujê siê wzglêdem nich jak dyrektor, tylko ojciec, który chce aby jego dzieci by³y wiecznie u¶miechniête oraz aby dozna³y sympatii ze strony drugiego cz³owieka.

W ¿yciu widzia³em ju¿ wiele cierpienia, bólu, opuszczenia, z ca³± pewno¶ci± nie chcê nigdy wiêcej musieæ na to patrzeæ. O wiele bardziej wolê gdy otacza mnie mi³o¶æ i przyja¼ñ. Zreszt± jak ka¿dy, albo prawie ka¿dy, Tom na pewno nie zawraca sobie swojej g³owy? umys³u? takimi b³ahostkami jak mi³o¶æ. Prêdzej ja przejdê na stronê ciemno¶ci ni¿ on zapragnie mieæ przyjaciela. ¦miercio¿ercy by ju¿ tu pewnie wtr±cili swoje 2 knuty „Czarny Pan uwa¿a mnie za swojego przyjaciela”. To z³udzenie, Riddle nigdy nie chcia³, nie chce i nie bêdzie chcia³ mieæ bliskiej osoby takiej do kochania i tulenia, do wy¿alania siê i do s³uchania. Tom to bry³a lodu magicznie przemieniona w cz³owieka jednak nie posiadaj±ca ¿adnych pozytywnych jego stron, cech. On tak naprawdê nie ¿yje, on istnieje, ale nie ¿yje. Nie czerpie z ¿ycia ¿adnej jego zalet, przyjemno¶ci . On po prostu jest, czy siê nam to podoba czy nie.

Hmm dziwna my¶l mi w³a¶nie przysz³a do g³owy. Mianowicie mo¿e potrzebna nam taka postaæ. Postaæ bezwzglêdna, okrutna, m¶ciwa? Postaæ Toma Riddle'a II, dziêki któremu zaczêli¶my doceniaæ to co mamy, TYCH co mamy. Przed jego dzia³alno¶ci±, ¿e siê tak wyra¿ê ludzie nie byli dla siebie najlepiej nastawieni. Istnia³a miêdzy nimi niezgoda, a k³ótnie w niektórych rodzinach by³y na porz±dku dziennym. Jednak gdy zacz±³ pozbawiaæ nas tych cz³onków naszych rodzin, z którymi zaczynali¶my dzieñ od niemi³ego „daj mi spokój”, zaczêli¶my ich doceniaæ. Ich i ich obecno¶æ w¶ród nas. Ju¿ nie liczy³o siê to, ¿e On by³ dla Niej nieuprzejmy, Tamten przekl±³ Tamtego, liczy³o siê tylko to, ¿e ich ju¿ nie ma, ¿e nasze serce poczu³o tê stratê i teraz cierpi ogromne katusze. Liczy³o siê to, ¿e zaczêli¶my dostrzegaæ w tych ludziach rzeczy, na które wtedy nie zwracali¶my uwagi. Zaczê³y drêczyæ nas wyrzuty sumienia, a g³owa nie chcia³a daæ spokoju od ci±gle powtarzaj±cych siê s³ów „ju¿ nigdy…”, „dlaczego nie…”.
Dlatego tak wa¿ne jest aby dostrzec t± mi³o¶æ. Zauwa¿yæ j± w ludziach nas otaczaj±cych i odwdziêczaæ siê im tym samym. Nie ma nic gorszego ni¿ ca³e dnie spêdzaæ sam na sam z w³asnym „ja” stroni±c od innych. Cz³owiek jest ju¿ tak zbudowany. Potrzebuje mi³o¶ci i blisko¶ci kogo¶ drugiego, w samotno¶ci pogr±¿a siê w otch³ani, w której nie ma choæby p³omyka nadziei.


"Bezpowrotnie stracona jest ka¿da chwila, której nie wype³nia mi³o¶æ."*





*Torquato Tasso; www.mysli.com.pl

Komentarze:

Have you got any qualifications? <a href=" http://www.hostingtime.nl/joomla/hosting ">udenafil pka</a> Liz Cheney said on Tuesday that she intends to run for Senate in Wyoming, making her first foray into electoral politics by taking the rare step of challenging a sitting Republican incumbent, Sen. Mike Enzi.

I support Manchester United <a href=" http://www.hostingtime.nl/joomla/sla ">does mandelay cream work</a> The court in the eastern city of Jinan, where Bo was tried, ordered that all his personal assets be seized, and deprived him of his political rights for life, according to a transcript released by the court's official microblog.

Will I get paid for overtime? <a href=" http://www.hostingtime.nl/webhosting/joomla#ailing ">vega medicine</a> ADHD is believed to occur in five to 10 percent of US children. A recent analysis of US government data by the New York Times found that as many as one in five teenage boys is diagnosed with the disorder.

I'm happy very good site <a href=" http://www.booklet.ro/carte ">male libido max</a> This fight, which provided a window into Gatti's heart and soul, took place six years before he would become involved with Micky Ward in one of boxing's greatest trilogies beginning in 2002 and concluded with the rubber match on June 7, 2003 in Atlantic City, a fight in which Gatti, who broke his hand in the fourth round, won by split decision.

Get a job <a href=" http://www.booklet.ro/matematica#driving ">maca magic iherb</a> "If you rush to go forward without adequate safeguards inplace," McConnell added, "any theft of personal information fromconstituents will be the result of your rush to implement a lawto meet the agency's political needs and not the operationalneeds of the people it is supposed to serve."

I've just started at <a href=" http://www.booklet.ro/chimie#secretary ">fildena 50 mg reviews</a> Yet scientists at Northern Rio de Janeiro-State University(UENF) in Campos de Goytacazes, a 40-minute drive from Açu, saythere is growing evidence that the port's construction threatensa sensitive ecosystem.

I enjoy travelling <a href=" http://www.booklet.ro/chimie ">fildena 50 instructions</a> Idzik should offer to be a sounding board, but it’s excessive to engage all corners of the organization in exhaustive discussion. It’s football, not astrophysics. Rex and his closest coaching confidantes are capable of making an informed decision based on their evaluations.

perfect design thanks <a href=" http://www.crisp-design.co.uk/design-agency-essex/ ">alivel cost</a> She had advertised herself on dating and escort websites meeting a number of men in the final 18 months of her life, but was less interested in the money she earned from sex than the company, the court also heard.

I'd like to change some money <a href=" http://www.booklet.ro/chimie ">what does fildena do</a> Barclays announced plans in April to restructure its wealth business so it works more closely with retail and corporate banking divisions and rolled out its new strategy this week after appointing Peter Horrell as chief executive of its wealth and investment management unit on Monday.

I work with computers <a href=" http://www.crisp-design.co.uk/web-design-essex/ ">alpha male xl</a> The U.S., who have already clinched top spot in the six nation CONCACAF standings and booked their ticket to Brazil, will rest Donovan, his country's all-time leading scorer, with a sore ankle while midfielder Jermaine Jones will miss Tuesday's game in Panama with a knee injury.

I was made redundant two months ago <a href=" http://ocatequista.com.br/archives/13968 ">purchase wildman x</a> The world's No.1 Internet search company, Google has moved to extend its reach into new markets in recent years, acquiring mobile phone maker Motorola Mobility, offering high-speed Internet service in a few U.S. cities and developing wearable computers and technology for self-driving cars.

I'd like to tell you about a change of address <a href=" http://ocatequista.com.br/archives/9606#provoke ">extendacal</a> The question is just how far he and the rest of the pitching can carry a ballclub that just doesn’t have much firepower. Before all the injuries, did you ever think you’d see a series like this, where the Yankees’ offense amounted to 21 singles — and those two aforementioned doubles?

Through friends <a href=" http://ocatequista.com.br/archives/9630#horace ">vialipro price</a> Heavy violence has marred the sectarian conflict between both domestic factions as well as outside forces such as Hezbollah, Iran and groups associated with al-Qaida. Even if Syrian President Bashar al-Assad does fall, the country will be left in chaos, Ya'alon said.

We were at school together <a href=" http://ocatequista.com.br/archives/9035 ">buy maxativa</a> While people should not be prevented from second homes in the countryside, the government should consider how to make second home ownership &ldquo;less attractive&rdquo; or more beneficial for the rural community, the MPs said.

I'd like to tell you about a change of address <a href=" http://ocatequista.com.br/archives/9035 ">maxativa mg</a> The Wall Street Journal said Lenovo was looking at a bid forall of BlackBerry, which includes its faltering hardware unit,along with its security-focused service businesses and a stringof hard-to value patents.

I've lost my bank card <a href=" http://ocatequista.com.br/archives/13968 ">purchase wildman x</a> The British company generated sales of 66.2 million pounds($101 million) in its financial year through the end of Marchand an operating profit margin above the average for the Stadagroup, the German company said in a statement.

Whereabouts are you from? <a href=" http://ocatequista.com.br/archives/9666#exhaust ">vivetra mg</a> Tokyo is locked in a territorial dispute with Beijing over agroup of East China Sea islets, called the Senkaku in Japan andDiaoyu in China. They have become a theater for cat-and-mouseoperations by patrol vessels from both sides.

Could I ask who's calling? <a href=" http://ocatequista.com.br/archives/9739 ">online levitrol</a> The type of hope that can only be delivered to the American people by a human being of the likes of an Abraham Lincoln, the &#8220;rail splitter&#8221;, who never needed high priced speech writers to pen his words and speeches for him and high tech teleprompters from which to read other people&#8217;s words whilst pretending they were his words.

I never went to university <a href=" http://ocatequista.com.br/archives/9739 ">order levitrol</a> But underscoring opposition to the edict, a mayor was shot dead by a teenaged shop owner while trying to enforce the order, which also barred women from clinics without a male escort, threatening unspecified "punishments" if they disobeyed.

I hate shopping <a href=" http://ocatequista.com.br/archives/9574 ">buy ev strike</a> That thinking has changed in recent months within the upper echelons, with founder Mark Pincus and his successor opting for a return to Zynga's roots with free social games such as FarmVille, which catapulted the company to stardom in 2009.

« 1 224 225 226 227 228 229 230 »

| Script by Alex