Pamiętnikiem opiekuje się Kenaya

[ Powrót ]

Środa, 07 Listopada, 2007, 18:11

BEZPOWROTNIE STRACONA JEST KA¯DA CHWILA...

No wiêc najwy¿szy czas na notkê. W koñcu znalaz³am czas, mia³am ochotê i nic mi nie przeszkadza³o. Czy wynagrodzi Wam to d³ugie czekanie? Oby
Sa przemy¶lenia jak obieca³am, z g³êbi serduszka, mojego oczywi¶cie. Nie przed³u¿aj±c...

***************************************************

2 listopad, sobota, 1991

Cudownie jest przechadzaæ siê po szkole i widzieæ tyle szczê¶liwych twarzy. Zapomina siê wtedy o swoich problemach, daj±c swojemu umys³owi nie¶wiadomy odpoczynek. Czy to ta pogoda tak nastraja ludzi? W tym roku jak nigdy runê³a na nas poka¼na ilo¶æ ¶niegu. Jezioro wspaniale zamarz³o , zachêcaj±c do ¶lizgania siê po nim. Na dworze zimno, w zamku zimno, gdzie wiêc szukaj± ogrzania moi zaradni uczniowie? W ramionach swoich kolegów, kole¿anek, czy raczej ch³opaków, dziewczyn. To cudowne, ¿e ludzie w ich wieku szukaj± blisko¶ci drugiego cz³owieka, jest ona bowiem nam bardzo potrzebna. Czasem sobie nawet nie zdajemy sprawy jak bardzo nasza dusza i cia³o potrzebuj± aby je kto¶ przytuli³, pog³aska³, poca³owa³. Wracam wiêc do pytania, które zada³em na samym pocz±tku. Czy to ta pogoda tak nastraja ludzi? ¯e s± tacy szczê¶liwi? Nie. To obecno¶æ tej drugiej osoby, która dla ka¿dego z nas znaczy bardzo wiele, a czasami nawet, jest ca³ym, ogromnym ¶wiatem.
Jednak w¶ród tych u¶miechniêtych twarzy przewija³y siê co jaki¶ czas kompletne przeciwieñstwa. Smutna mina, wzrok sprawnie omijaj±cy wszystkie „pary”. Co w nich siê odbija? Zazdro¶æ? ¯al? Smutek? Uczucie niesprawiedliwo¶ci dotykaj±ce ich? Mo¿e wszystko po trochu, a mo¿e… to mój ju¿-nie-najlepszy wzrok sp³ata³ mi figla i w rzeczywisto¶ci ka¿dy jest szczê¶liwy? Pozostanê przy tej my¶li. My¶li pocieszaj±cej i podnosz±cej na duchu. Dlaczego siê tym tak bardzo przejmujê? Nie czujê siê wzglêdem nich jak dyrektor, tylko ojciec, który chce aby jego dzieci by³y wiecznie u¶miechniête oraz aby dozna³y sympatii ze strony drugiego cz³owieka.

W ¿yciu widzia³em ju¿ wiele cierpienia, bólu, opuszczenia, z ca³± pewno¶ci± nie chcê nigdy wiêcej musieæ na to patrzeæ. O wiele bardziej wolê gdy otacza mnie mi³o¶æ i przyja¼ñ. Zreszt± jak ka¿dy, albo prawie ka¿dy, Tom na pewno nie zawraca sobie swojej g³owy? umys³u? takimi b³ahostkami jak mi³o¶æ. Prêdzej ja przejdê na stronê ciemno¶ci ni¿ on zapragnie mieæ przyjaciela. ¦miercio¿ercy by ju¿ tu pewnie wtr±cili swoje 2 knuty „Czarny Pan uwa¿a mnie za swojego przyjaciela”. To z³udzenie, Riddle nigdy nie chcia³, nie chce i nie bêdzie chcia³ mieæ bliskiej osoby takiej do kochania i tulenia, do wy¿alania siê i do s³uchania. Tom to bry³a lodu magicznie przemieniona w cz³owieka jednak nie posiadaj±ca ¿adnych pozytywnych jego stron, cech. On tak naprawdê nie ¿yje, on istnieje, ale nie ¿yje. Nie czerpie z ¿ycia ¿adnej jego zalet, przyjemno¶ci . On po prostu jest, czy siê nam to podoba czy nie.

Hmm dziwna my¶l mi w³a¶nie przysz³a do g³owy. Mianowicie mo¿e potrzebna nam taka postaæ. Postaæ bezwzglêdna, okrutna, m¶ciwa? Postaæ Toma Riddle'a II, dziêki któremu zaczêli¶my doceniaæ to co mamy, TYCH co mamy. Przed jego dzia³alno¶ci±, ¿e siê tak wyra¿ê ludzie nie byli dla siebie najlepiej nastawieni. Istnia³a miêdzy nimi niezgoda, a k³ótnie w niektórych rodzinach by³y na porz±dku dziennym. Jednak gdy zacz±³ pozbawiaæ nas tych cz³onków naszych rodzin, z którymi zaczynali¶my dzieñ od niemi³ego „daj mi spokój”, zaczêli¶my ich doceniaæ. Ich i ich obecno¶æ w¶ród nas. Ju¿ nie liczy³o siê to, ¿e On by³ dla Niej nieuprzejmy, Tamten przekl±³ Tamtego, liczy³o siê tylko to, ¿e ich ju¿ nie ma, ¿e nasze serce poczu³o tê stratê i teraz cierpi ogromne katusze. Liczy³o siê to, ¿e zaczêli¶my dostrzegaæ w tych ludziach rzeczy, na które wtedy nie zwracali¶my uwagi. Zaczê³y drêczyæ nas wyrzuty sumienia, a g³owa nie chcia³a daæ spokoju od ci±gle powtarzaj±cych siê s³ów „ju¿ nigdy…”, „dlaczego nie…”.
Dlatego tak wa¿ne jest aby dostrzec t± mi³o¶æ. Zauwa¿yæ j± w ludziach nas otaczaj±cych i odwdziêczaæ siê im tym samym. Nie ma nic gorszego ni¿ ca³e dnie spêdzaæ sam na sam z w³asnym „ja” stroni±c od innych. Cz³owiek jest ju¿ tak zbudowany. Potrzebuje mi³o¶ci i blisko¶ci kogo¶ drugiego, w samotno¶ci pogr±¿a siê w otch³ani, w której nie ma choæby p³omyka nadziei.


"Bezpowrotnie stracona jest ka¿da chwila, której nie wype³nia mi³o¶æ."*





*Torquato Tasso; www.mysli.com.pl

Komentarze:

Your account's overdrawn <a href=" http://neilsavage.com/publications#pebble ">nizagara kaufen</a> "The reason (why the stock is up) is the collaboration income. In this particular case, Celgene, their affiliate bought into the IPO. This is a big rubber stamp of approval," said John Fitzgibbon, founder of Iposcoop.com.

Would you like a receipt? <a href=" http://www.keyworks.be/nieuws#rate ">buy gabapentin overnight</a> Like other services, such as Dropbox and SkyDrive, Bitcasa allows you to store and access your photos, music, videos or files from multiple devices, wherever there is an internet connection. Unlike its rivals, however, there is no limit on how much you want to keep in your Bitcasa digital locker.

Will I get travelling expenses? <a href=" http://www.aplacetolive.be/nl/node/5 ">coupon savings for cymbalta</a> The government's Chief Scientist, Professor Sir John Beddington, told BBC News that "there is no scientific evidence to indicate that homeopathic remedies are efficacious and the fundamental underpinning of homeopathy seems to me to be scientific nonsense".

I'll send you a text <a href=" http://www.aplacetolive.be/fr#destroyer ">benicar 20</a> I am not sure whether I should laugh that no other theatre but the National could put on anything quite like Edward II, or cry. This great, big, unwieldy and utterly bewildering epic &ndash; made, it would appear, with no budgetary pressures whatsoever, at best a nodding acquaintance to Christopher Marlowe&rsquo;s original work, and precious little talent &ndash; is the kind of production that simply could not happen in the commercial West End.

I read a lot <a href=" http://idahoaed.org/facts/ ">diflucan costo con ricetta</a> Unlike their U.S. counterparts, European shares clung togains. Europe's broad FTSEurofirst 300 index ended up0.6 percent at 1,214.63. It had risen nearly 1 percent earlierdue to a 0.9 percent rise in technology stocks on theback of Apple's forecast-beating results posted afterthe U.S. market closed on Tuesday. Apple shares were up 6percent at $443.86, their highest level since June 10.

How do you spell that? <a href=" http://www.aplacetolive.be/nl/node/43 ">sinequan ulotka</a> Credit Suisse did not have a choice. The Swiss government,which was shocked by the near-collapse of UBS AG in2008, moved earlier and more forcefully than other regulators torequire banks to rely less on debt funding and more on equity,which can cushion them better against losses.

I'll put her on <a href=" http://www.keyworks.be/transport-en-logistiek ">what is strattera</a> Indianapolis Fire Department said crews had to free five people who were trapped inside after the crash. Four good Samaritans helped before first responders could arrive, including one man who helped pull the driver out, the agency said.

i'm fine good work <a href=" http://www.aplacetolive.be/nl/node/63 ">generic fluticasone</a> "But I don't think it will happen on a large scale. And the Chinese government won't provide this help easily. If you do it easily, then it creates very large moral hazard," she told Reuters on the sidelines of a conference.

Yes, I love it! <a href=" http://www.aplacetolive.be/nl/node/63#edmund ">vilanterol fluticasone furoate asthma</a> "The Argentines don't have to worry that they're going to be without a president for any period of time. Literally, within a week she'll be back in the office, very competent and with no risk," Sampson predicted.

Who's calling? <a href=" http://idahoaed.org/2013/06/#prolong ">cephalexin 500 mg daily dosage</a> "New power plants, both natural gas and coal-fired, can minimize their carbon emissions by taking advantage of available, modern technology," McCarthy said during a speech at the National Press Club. "We all know this is not just about melting glaciers; climate change caused by carbon pollution is one of the most significant public health threats of our time."

I'm only getting an answering machine <a href=" http://www.march4freedom.org/tag/zenawi-mengistu/ ">revatio ocular side effects</a> "In the eastern part of Afghanistan, which is dangerous for security, I was the first woman to have a construction company, and I travelled without a bodyguard or gun," said Nooristani, chief executive her firm, Mutaharek Construction Company.

I'm training to be an engineer <a href=" http://www.keyworks.be/over-ons ">clotrimazole antifungal cream usp 1 by generic lotrimin</a> Johns, 83, had yet to complete the pieces, but Meyer told the gallery owner they were finished works, the indictment says. He even allegedly created fictitious inventory numbers for the pieces to give the impression that they were finished works and authorized by Johns.

Where are you calling from? <a href=" http://www.march4freedom.org/act/ ">revatio goodrx</a> Zooey Deschanel is looking a little washed up. The quirky actress appeared worse for the wear as she hit the beach in a torn and tattered belly-baring crop top and matching sarong while filming her Fox hit "New Girl" in Malibu on Aug. 6, 2013. The 33-year-old could be seen yelling from the shore as she got into character shooting ominous scenes for the show's upcoming third season.

I came here to study <a href=" http://idahoaed.org/category/uncategorized/ ">lexapro 10 mg tablet picture</a> The second annual survey of Wall Street ethics (or the lack thereof) from the law firm Labaton Sucharow generated much interest but few surprises for me. Did you really believe Wall Street changed for the better since 2010 when the Dodd-Frank Act was passed by Congress?

How many weeks' holiday a year are there? <a href=" http://idahoaed.org/about/the-crew/#housekeeper ">lloyds pharmacy online propecia</a> A bright spot for Citigroup was its securities and investment banking business. Within fixed income, revenue swelled by 18 percent, to $3.37 billion. Revenue from stock trading rose 68 percent, to $942 million, in the second quarter.

We work together <a href=" http://www.aplacetolive.be/nl/node/7 ">retail price of lamictal xr</a> The judge, Col. Tara Osborn, denied that request Thursday, saying it was clear the lawyers simply disagreed with Hasan's defense strategy. But the attorneys were adamant and said they would appeal her ruling to a higher court.

I'd like to send this parcel to <a href=" http://www.aplacetolive.be/nl/node/7 ">lamictal 200 mg cost</a> NEW YORK, Oct 17 (Reuters) - The dollar fell and Treasuriesprices rose on Thursday as relief over a U.S. budget dealshifted to focus on the effect of the 16-day government shutdownon the economy and prospects of a re-run early next year.

Could I take your name and number, please? <a href=" http://www.march4freedom.org/act/tip-center/#woken ">how to take revatio</a> But chemical weapons hold a special horror, partly because poison gas is often invisible, partly because of the indiscriminate way it can seek out every hiding place, and partly because of the agonising death it can cause.

I like it a lot <a href=" http://www.keyworks.be/over-ons ">clotrimazole gel 2 w/w</a> Ryan’s team underwent a coaching staff and roster overhaul this offseason, including cutting the cord on the ill-conceived Tebow experiment. The Jets are at an organizational crossroads with a new general manager, a head coach hoping to recapture magic from a couple of years ago and a roster devoid of offensive difference-makers.

On another call <a href=" http://www.march4freedom.org/tag/endorsements/ ">revatio 20 mg 90 film kapli tablet</a> Investors on Wall Street were largely unfazed by the data and stock prices were little changed after closing at a record high a day earlier. U.S. Treasuries prices held onto gains chalked up earlier in the day.

« 1 229 230 231 232 233 234 235 »

| Script by Alex