Pamiętnikiem opiekuje się Kenaya

[ Powrót ]

Środa, 07 Listopada, 2007, 18:11

BEZPOWROTNIE STRACONA JEST KA¯DA CHWILA...

No wiêc najwy¿szy czas na notkê. W koñcu znalaz³am czas, mia³am ochotê i nic mi nie przeszkadza³o. Czy wynagrodzi Wam to d³ugie czekanie? Oby
Sa przemy¶lenia jak obieca³am, z g³êbi serduszka, mojego oczywi¶cie. Nie przed³u¿aj±c...

***************************************************

2 listopad, sobota, 1991

Cudownie jest przechadzaæ siê po szkole i widzieæ tyle szczê¶liwych twarzy. Zapomina siê wtedy o swoich problemach, daj±c swojemu umys³owi nie¶wiadomy odpoczynek. Czy to ta pogoda tak nastraja ludzi? W tym roku jak nigdy runê³a na nas poka¼na ilo¶æ ¶niegu. Jezioro wspaniale zamarz³o , zachêcaj±c do ¶lizgania siê po nim. Na dworze zimno, w zamku zimno, gdzie wiêc szukaj± ogrzania moi zaradni uczniowie? W ramionach swoich kolegów, kole¿anek, czy raczej ch³opaków, dziewczyn. To cudowne, ¿e ludzie w ich wieku szukaj± blisko¶ci drugiego cz³owieka, jest ona bowiem nam bardzo potrzebna. Czasem sobie nawet nie zdajemy sprawy jak bardzo nasza dusza i cia³o potrzebuj± aby je kto¶ przytuli³, pog³aska³, poca³owa³. Wracam wiêc do pytania, które zada³em na samym pocz±tku. Czy to ta pogoda tak nastraja ludzi? ¯e s± tacy szczê¶liwi? Nie. To obecno¶æ tej drugiej osoby, która dla ka¿dego z nas znaczy bardzo wiele, a czasami nawet, jest ca³ym, ogromnym ¶wiatem.
Jednak w¶ród tych u¶miechniêtych twarzy przewija³y siê co jaki¶ czas kompletne przeciwieñstwa. Smutna mina, wzrok sprawnie omijaj±cy wszystkie „pary”. Co w nich siê odbija? Zazdro¶æ? ¯al? Smutek? Uczucie niesprawiedliwo¶ci dotykaj±ce ich? Mo¿e wszystko po trochu, a mo¿e… to mój ju¿-nie-najlepszy wzrok sp³ata³ mi figla i w rzeczywisto¶ci ka¿dy jest szczê¶liwy? Pozostanê przy tej my¶li. My¶li pocieszaj±cej i podnosz±cej na duchu. Dlaczego siê tym tak bardzo przejmujê? Nie czujê siê wzglêdem nich jak dyrektor, tylko ojciec, który chce aby jego dzieci by³y wiecznie u¶miechniête oraz aby dozna³y sympatii ze strony drugiego cz³owieka.

W ¿yciu widzia³em ju¿ wiele cierpienia, bólu, opuszczenia, z ca³± pewno¶ci± nie chcê nigdy wiêcej musieæ na to patrzeæ. O wiele bardziej wolê gdy otacza mnie mi³o¶æ i przyja¼ñ. Zreszt± jak ka¿dy, albo prawie ka¿dy, Tom na pewno nie zawraca sobie swojej g³owy? umys³u? takimi b³ahostkami jak mi³o¶æ. Prêdzej ja przejdê na stronê ciemno¶ci ni¿ on zapragnie mieæ przyjaciela. ¦miercio¿ercy by ju¿ tu pewnie wtr±cili swoje 2 knuty „Czarny Pan uwa¿a mnie za swojego przyjaciela”. To z³udzenie, Riddle nigdy nie chcia³, nie chce i nie bêdzie chcia³ mieæ bliskiej osoby takiej do kochania i tulenia, do wy¿alania siê i do s³uchania. Tom to bry³a lodu magicznie przemieniona w cz³owieka jednak nie posiadaj±ca ¿adnych pozytywnych jego stron, cech. On tak naprawdê nie ¿yje, on istnieje, ale nie ¿yje. Nie czerpie z ¿ycia ¿adnej jego zalet, przyjemno¶ci . On po prostu jest, czy siê nam to podoba czy nie.

Hmm dziwna my¶l mi w³a¶nie przysz³a do g³owy. Mianowicie mo¿e potrzebna nam taka postaæ. Postaæ bezwzglêdna, okrutna, m¶ciwa? Postaæ Toma Riddle'a II, dziêki któremu zaczêli¶my doceniaæ to co mamy, TYCH co mamy. Przed jego dzia³alno¶ci±, ¿e siê tak wyra¿ê ludzie nie byli dla siebie najlepiej nastawieni. Istnia³a miêdzy nimi niezgoda, a k³ótnie w niektórych rodzinach by³y na porz±dku dziennym. Jednak gdy zacz±³ pozbawiaæ nas tych cz³onków naszych rodzin, z którymi zaczynali¶my dzieñ od niemi³ego „daj mi spokój”, zaczêli¶my ich doceniaæ. Ich i ich obecno¶æ w¶ród nas. Ju¿ nie liczy³o siê to, ¿e On by³ dla Niej nieuprzejmy, Tamten przekl±³ Tamtego, liczy³o siê tylko to, ¿e ich ju¿ nie ma, ¿e nasze serce poczu³o tê stratê i teraz cierpi ogromne katusze. Liczy³o siê to, ¿e zaczêli¶my dostrzegaæ w tych ludziach rzeczy, na które wtedy nie zwracali¶my uwagi. Zaczê³y drêczyæ nas wyrzuty sumienia, a g³owa nie chcia³a daæ spokoju od ci±gle powtarzaj±cych siê s³ów „ju¿ nigdy…”, „dlaczego nie…”.
Dlatego tak wa¿ne jest aby dostrzec t± mi³o¶æ. Zauwa¿yæ j± w ludziach nas otaczaj±cych i odwdziêczaæ siê im tym samym. Nie ma nic gorszego ni¿ ca³e dnie spêdzaæ sam na sam z w³asnym „ja” stroni±c od innych. Cz³owiek jest ju¿ tak zbudowany. Potrzebuje mi³o¶ci i blisko¶ci kogo¶ drugiego, w samotno¶ci pogr±¿a siê w otch³ani, w której nie ma choæby p³omyka nadziei.


"Bezpowrotnie stracona jest ka¿da chwila, której nie wype³nia mi³o¶æ."*





*Torquato Tasso; www.mysli.com.pl

Komentarze:

Another year <a href=" http://verulamwebdesign.co.uk/the-team ">tamoxifen uk muscle</a> Reporters were given a look rare look inside the high-techworld of nano chip production last week during a visit to a TSMCfoundry in southern Taiwan. For security reasons, no photographsor video were allowed.

There's a three month trial period <a href=" http://verulamwebdesign.co.uk/wottledo ">alli for sale uk</a> In the second quarter, gold purchases by central banks were concentrated among the former Soviet states, with Russia making the largest purchase. The Central Bank of Russia increased its holding by 15 tonnes in the three months to June, bringing its total purchases in the year to date to almost 39 tonnes.

I'm doing an internship <a href=" http://verulamwebdesign.co.uk/links ">accutane treatment uk</a> The yields have risen 15 bps this week on upbeat data butare still some 20 bps below peaks reached in June after the U.S.Federal Reserve outlined plans to start scaling back its massivebond purchases later this year.

Will I get travelling expenses? <a href=" http://verulamwebdesign.co.uk/contact#grotesque ">duloxetine cost uk</a> However, you will have noticed the distinct advantage held by these two over the Panda pair. They did the journey in a Land Rover Discovery, a vehicle rather more suited to this sort of expedition than the Panda. Again not far removed from production spec, the Discovery was fitted with larger fuel tanks, sump guards, off-road tyres and extra driving lamps.

I sing in a choir <a href=" http://verulamwebdesign.co.uk/services#unfair ">citalopram uk buy online</a> * Apollo Tyres' $2.5 billion acquisition of Cooper Tire &Rubber Co has flared into a war of words as the two companieshaggle over the price of the deal plagued by labor issues in theUnited States, where Cooper is based, and in China.

I wanted to live abroad <a href=" http://verulamwebdesign.co.uk/careers ">lexapro online uk</a> Separately Sunday, Afghan officials said that an apparent NATO airstrike had killed 15 people — nine of them civilians, including women and children — in an eastern province where the Taliban are strong. NATO said 10 militants died in the strike, and that it had no reports of any civilian deaths.

How do you spell that? <a href=" http://verulamwebdesign.co.uk/energise-media ">gabapentin dosage uk</a> Surveillance video caught the heart-stopping moment a man lost control of his electrified wheelchair and tumbled face-first onto Washington, D.C., subway tracks before good Samaritans pulled him to safety.

I've been cut off <a href=" http://verulamwebdesign.co.uk/raishma-rtw#bamboo ">fluoxetine uk brand name</a> "The situations with the USW (United Steelworkers) and the joint venture partner and union in China are a direct result of the merger agreement, and are risks Apollo assumed under the merger agreement," Cooper said in a statement.

In a meeting <a href=" http://verulamwebdesign.co.uk/raishma-rtw ">buy prozac online uk</a> Following his split from singer Shirley Collie in the early 70s, Willie Nelson went one better than most break-up records and produced a country concept album about divorce. One half was devoted to the woman&rsquo;s perspective, tired of being there for her unfaithful husband and seeking her own life, while the other followed the husband&rsquo;s gradual realisation that his wastrel ways have lost him his woman. Riding the fine line between maudlin wallowing and emotional heft, it&rsquo;s an engaging, evocative journey.

Sorry, I'm busy at the moment <a href=" http://verulamwebdesign.co.uk/terms-and-conditions ">buy diclofenac potassium online uk</a> But the pricey liquefaction process, in which gas is cooledso that it compresses into liquid, and shipping costs will addup, and a substantial outflow of exports is likely to push upU.S. benchmark gas prices.

I'd like , please <a href=" http://verulamwebdesign.co.uk/tata-communications ">stendra uk</a> Bankers are preparing debt packages to back a potentialbuyout of the company equivalent to up to 6 times Host Europe's37.5 million euro earnings before interest, taxes, depreciationand amortisation (EBITDA), consisting of senior leveraged loansor a mixture of senior leveraged loans and mezzanine finance,bankers said.

Three years <a href=" http://verulamwebdesign.co.uk/tata-communications ">avanafil uk</a> LUXEMBOURG, Oct 14 (Reuters) - The euro zone debated onMonday how to prop up banks likely to be declared unstable nextyear, but France's blunt criticism of Germany before the meetinglaid bare the tensions surrounding the far-reaching financialreform.

Could I make an appointment to see ? <a href=" http://profisrael.com.br/tag/fiscalizacao/ ">pristiq rebate</a> Woodson said Wednesday that the Knicks were &#8220;disappointed&#8221; in Smith, the NBA&#8217;s reigning Sixth Man of the Year award winner, for violating the NBA&#8217;s anti-drug program. The violation triggered a five-game ban for Smith.

I'd like to apply for this job <a href=" http://www.actiup.com/datos-actiup.html#ignorant ">where is the best place to buy clomid online</a> If this weren't enough, we have had a failure to launch healthcare.gov, the entry website for purchasing health insurance under the Affordable Care Act, more commonly known as Obamacare. The administration has had two and a half years to develop a website and all of the necessary back-end systems to enable Americans to purchase health insurance on a government run exchange. After all of that time and hundreds of millions of dollars, the system crashed on its first day, and it continues to fail. Not only is the front-end failing, the back-end is failing as the participating insurance companies are receiving the wrong information with respect to applicants and qualified dependents. This is not a mere glitch, it is a system failure.

Yes, I play the guitar <a href=" http://www.ccoi.ie/enterprise#fruit ">nizagara 100 price</a> MERS has killed 45 people of the 90 confirmed cases since last year, mostly in Saudi Arabia. While that is an extremely significant mortality rate &ndash; and it has spread to Europe and Africa &ndash; the disease isn&rsquo;t spreading nearly as fast as SARS did.

Could I have a statement, please? <a href=" http://profisrael.com.br/tag/fiscalizacao/#sight ">desvenlafaxine 150mg</a> Researchers are requiring participants to stay on a slight tilt which is intended to allow fluids to move towards the upper part of the body. That would allow researchers to study cardiovascular symptoms similar to what might be experienced during a space expedition.

I'm a member of a gym <a href=" http://www.ccoi.ie/enterprise ">nizagara long last</a> The Japanese company are promising that the device’s UI "seamlesslyintegrates Google and Sony's own BRAVIA apps, allowing viewers to stay in asingle menu to launch any of their apps." This means that users won’thave to switch inputs to get to live TV, and that Bravia branded apps thatGoogle lacks (eg Hulu Plus) will be folded into a single experience.

Could I make an appointment to see ? <a href=" http://www.vidacandanga.com.br/category/teatro/ ">cheap phenergan</a> Nigeria and Ghana are its main markets, making about 80percent of its turnover. Fan Milk commands a market share of 85percent and 89 percent, respectively in these two countries. (Reporting by Dominique Vidalon; Editing by Mark Potter)

Where do you come from? <a href=" http://profisrael.com.br/tag/estudantes/ ">desvenlafaxine orange book</a> Western powers believe Iranian enrichment activities areaimed at achieving nuclear weapons capability, whereas Iraninsists its programme is purely for civilian purposes - generating electricity and for a medical research reactor.

On another call <a href=" http://espnblacksburg.com/listen-live.html#flank ">how much does lexapro cost per pill</a> Debate in Washington has focused on whether Obama will pick Summers or Fed Vice Chair Janet Yellen to succeed Ben Bernanke, whose term as head of the U.S. central bank expires in January. The appointment must be approved by the Senate.

« 1 233 234 235 236 237 238 239 »

| Script by Alex