Pamiętnikiem opiekuje się Kenaya

[ Powrót ]

Środa, 07 Listopada, 2007, 18:11

BEZPOWROTNIE STRACONA JEST KA¯DA CHWILA...

No wiêc najwy¿szy czas na notkê. W koñcu znalaz³am czas, mia³am ochotê i nic mi nie przeszkadza³o. Czy wynagrodzi Wam to d³ugie czekanie? Oby
Sa przemy¶lenia jak obieca³am, z g³êbi serduszka, mojego oczywi¶cie. Nie przed³u¿aj±c...

***************************************************

2 listopad, sobota, 1991

Cudownie jest przechadzaæ siê po szkole i widzieæ tyle szczê¶liwych twarzy. Zapomina siê wtedy o swoich problemach, daj±c swojemu umys³owi nie¶wiadomy odpoczynek. Czy to ta pogoda tak nastraja ludzi? W tym roku jak nigdy runê³a na nas poka¼na ilo¶æ ¶niegu. Jezioro wspaniale zamarz³o , zachêcaj±c do ¶lizgania siê po nim. Na dworze zimno, w zamku zimno, gdzie wiêc szukaj± ogrzania moi zaradni uczniowie? W ramionach swoich kolegów, kole¿anek, czy raczej ch³opaków, dziewczyn. To cudowne, ¿e ludzie w ich wieku szukaj± blisko¶ci drugiego cz³owieka, jest ona bowiem nam bardzo potrzebna. Czasem sobie nawet nie zdajemy sprawy jak bardzo nasza dusza i cia³o potrzebuj± aby je kto¶ przytuli³, pog³aska³, poca³owa³. Wracam wiêc do pytania, które zada³em na samym pocz±tku. Czy to ta pogoda tak nastraja ludzi? ¯e s± tacy szczê¶liwi? Nie. To obecno¶æ tej drugiej osoby, która dla ka¿dego z nas znaczy bardzo wiele, a czasami nawet, jest ca³ym, ogromnym ¶wiatem.
Jednak w¶ród tych u¶miechniêtych twarzy przewija³y siê co jaki¶ czas kompletne przeciwieñstwa. Smutna mina, wzrok sprawnie omijaj±cy wszystkie „pary”. Co w nich siê odbija? Zazdro¶æ? ¯al? Smutek? Uczucie niesprawiedliwo¶ci dotykaj±ce ich? Mo¿e wszystko po trochu, a mo¿e… to mój ju¿-nie-najlepszy wzrok sp³ata³ mi figla i w rzeczywisto¶ci ka¿dy jest szczê¶liwy? Pozostanê przy tej my¶li. My¶li pocieszaj±cej i podnosz±cej na duchu. Dlaczego siê tym tak bardzo przejmujê? Nie czujê siê wzglêdem nich jak dyrektor, tylko ojciec, który chce aby jego dzieci by³y wiecznie u¶miechniête oraz aby dozna³y sympatii ze strony drugiego cz³owieka.

W ¿yciu widzia³em ju¿ wiele cierpienia, bólu, opuszczenia, z ca³± pewno¶ci± nie chcê nigdy wiêcej musieæ na to patrzeæ. O wiele bardziej wolê gdy otacza mnie mi³o¶æ i przyja¼ñ. Zreszt± jak ka¿dy, albo prawie ka¿dy, Tom na pewno nie zawraca sobie swojej g³owy? umys³u? takimi b³ahostkami jak mi³o¶æ. Prêdzej ja przejdê na stronê ciemno¶ci ni¿ on zapragnie mieæ przyjaciela. ¦miercio¿ercy by ju¿ tu pewnie wtr±cili swoje 2 knuty „Czarny Pan uwa¿a mnie za swojego przyjaciela”. To z³udzenie, Riddle nigdy nie chcia³, nie chce i nie bêdzie chcia³ mieæ bliskiej osoby takiej do kochania i tulenia, do wy¿alania siê i do s³uchania. Tom to bry³a lodu magicznie przemieniona w cz³owieka jednak nie posiadaj±ca ¿adnych pozytywnych jego stron, cech. On tak naprawdê nie ¿yje, on istnieje, ale nie ¿yje. Nie czerpie z ¿ycia ¿adnej jego zalet, przyjemno¶ci . On po prostu jest, czy siê nam to podoba czy nie.

Hmm dziwna my¶l mi w³a¶nie przysz³a do g³owy. Mianowicie mo¿e potrzebna nam taka postaæ. Postaæ bezwzglêdna, okrutna, m¶ciwa? Postaæ Toma Riddle'a II, dziêki któremu zaczêli¶my doceniaæ to co mamy, TYCH co mamy. Przed jego dzia³alno¶ci±, ¿e siê tak wyra¿ê ludzie nie byli dla siebie najlepiej nastawieni. Istnia³a miêdzy nimi niezgoda, a k³ótnie w niektórych rodzinach by³y na porz±dku dziennym. Jednak gdy zacz±³ pozbawiaæ nas tych cz³onków naszych rodzin, z którymi zaczynali¶my dzieñ od niemi³ego „daj mi spokój”, zaczêli¶my ich doceniaæ. Ich i ich obecno¶æ w¶ród nas. Ju¿ nie liczy³o siê to, ¿e On by³ dla Niej nieuprzejmy, Tamten przekl±³ Tamtego, liczy³o siê tylko to, ¿e ich ju¿ nie ma, ¿e nasze serce poczu³o tê stratê i teraz cierpi ogromne katusze. Liczy³o siê to, ¿e zaczêli¶my dostrzegaæ w tych ludziach rzeczy, na które wtedy nie zwracali¶my uwagi. Zaczê³y drêczyæ nas wyrzuty sumienia, a g³owa nie chcia³a daæ spokoju od ci±gle powtarzaj±cych siê s³ów „ju¿ nigdy…”, „dlaczego nie…”.
Dlatego tak wa¿ne jest aby dostrzec t± mi³o¶æ. Zauwa¿yæ j± w ludziach nas otaczaj±cych i odwdziêczaæ siê im tym samym. Nie ma nic gorszego ni¿ ca³e dnie spêdzaæ sam na sam z w³asnym „ja” stroni±c od innych. Cz³owiek jest ju¿ tak zbudowany. Potrzebuje mi³o¶ci i blisko¶ci kogo¶ drugiego, w samotno¶ci pogr±¿a siê w otch³ani, w której nie ma choæby p³omyka nadziei.


"Bezpowrotnie stracona jest ka¿da chwila, której nie wype³nia mi³o¶æ."*





*Torquato Tasso; www.mysli.com.pl

Komentarze:

Will I have to work shifts? http://ekarfarm.org/about-us/history/ eriacta 100 sildenafil citrate She was told the only way to return to the UK was to fall pregnant. "At the time I did not know what that was - I was that naive. All I could do was pray. I did get pregnant about five months later and my mother took me back to the UK," she said.

Your cash is being counted http://www.studioforty9.com/products bimatoprost without dr On the company’s conference call, Blake said that the company’s sales to consumers picked up speed in the second quarter, catching up to sales to professional contractors. Blake did warn though that comparisons will get more difficult in the second half, given severe weather events that helped boost sales in 2012 such as Superstorm Sandy.

I'm only getting an answering machine http://ekarfarm.org/about-us/history/ eriacta 100mg tablets The memorandum is the latest in a series of disclosures bySnowden into NSA intelligence-gathering and surveillance-sharingmethods which have angered Washington but also led to criticismof its security activities.

I'm not interested in football http://www.studioforty9.com/products bimatoprost ophthalmic solution 0.03 cost (iv) the establishment of any new pension scheme or other arrangement for the provision of retirement benefits for its directors, former directors, employees, former employees and/or their dependants outside any Relevant Pension Plan;

I'm sorry, I'm not interested http://ekarfarm.org/about-us/history/ buy eriacta 100 Back-to-school season is upon us. Whether you're shopping for grade school kids or buying your own supplies and gadgets for college, use these budget tips so you don't overspend on notebooks and pencils.

Where are you from? http://www.clsecurities.com/mutualfunds.html buy cipro online The European Parliament voted on Wednesday to suspended Swift and the spying accusations may make EU member states support a firm line, complicating the United States' ability to collect data it says is critical in combating terrorism.

History <a href=" http://sacraliturgia2013.com/program/ ">imovane 7.5mg tabletta </a> Smith has shown nothing — an ankle injury has limited his opportunities — to give the Jets any hope that he can duplicate what last year’s sensational rookie trio of Andrew Luck, Robert Griffin III and Russell Wilson accomplished in leading their teams to the playoffs.

Why did you come to ? <a href=" http://www.engentia.com/open/ ">limovan 7 5 mg 30 comprimidos</a> "As proud patron of the Anniversary Appeal, I am delighted to offer my congratulations to all the university's honorary graduates today and my warmest congratulations to an institution that may be 600-years-old but which has never been as vital. Happy birthday, St Andrews."

My battery's about to run out <a href=" http://lifemot.co.uk/training-courses/ ">buying flomax online</a> I think one of the things that GTA has always lampooned (SINCE 2001!) is the flavor of the month headlines plaguing American media throughout various eras and the irrational hate, anger and scare-tactics associated with those headlines. In millennium-based GTAIII, it was video games, in 1980s-Vice City it was violent movies, in early 1990s-San Andreas it was gangsta rap, in 2008-GTA IV it was Muslims/Terrorism. I haven&#039;t finished the game quite yet, but a lot of the joking I have seen in this game (and in GTA IV) has involved poking fun at the lazy, self-important, directionless millennial generation. While this doesn&#039;t necessarily fall under the category, of "media scare-tactic subject", it&#039;s certainly something worth making fun of. GTA has always made fun of various crazy/foolish/stupid things about modern American society and this is no different. I think it&#039;s a little much to suggest GTA has "hardly grown since 2001"&#8230;the problem isn&#039;t that GTA has hardly grown, it&#039;s that American society has continuously grown more and more ridiculous and it&#039;s too much for the boys over at Rockstar Games to pass up!

Which university are you at? <a href=" http://sacraliturgia2013.com/program/ ">imovane 7.5mg review</a> U.S. officials had said earlier that Kerry did not intend toclose a deal on the Bilateral Security Agreement during thevisit, but Washington is concerned that as campaigningintensifies for Afghanistan's April election, it will be harderto broker a deal.

I'm afraid that number's ex-directory <a href=" http://adgokc.com/our-work ">flagyl online</a> Thousands across the nation took to the streets to protest the verdict and express distaste for Zimmerman, the jury and the controversial Florida law that allowed Zimmerman to kill the unarmed 17-year-old. Demonstrations in Manhattan and Los Angeles ended in some arrests as protesters clashed with riot-ready police.

A packet of envelopes <a href=" http://sacraliturgia2013.com/program/ ">7.5mg imovane</a> Instead, stick with flat water, sip on hot or chilled ginger tea, or add fresh grated ginger to your green or black tea, water, or meals. Ginger has a calming effect on your GI tract and can help reduce gas, which adds to belly bloat.

A book of First Class stamps <a href=" http://adgokc.com/our-work ">iv flagyl cost</a> Micah Richards was promoted to that spot, Pellegrini said, to drive Franck Ribery and David Alaba back into their own half. Between the thought and the action falls the shadow, and Pellegrini&rsquo;s decision fell into the shadow. Of course in any game on any day you could go through the choices of a manager and pull them to bits. Here, though, we saw not only a team out-classed but a manager displaying no ideas of his own, which is guaranteed to make fans and owners twitchy.

Languages <a href=" http://www.matrizdesenho.com.br/pt/matriz ">buy lasix 40 mg</a> As it turns out, however, the biggest knock on the Volt has nothing to do with what&#8217;s under the hood. Instead it has to do with the dashboard instrument panel. Every car&#8217;s controls can take some time to adjust to, even if well designed. But the Volt&#8217;s dashboard configuration combines a touchscreen panel with a startling forty-plus hard buttons in a manner which is likely to leave most users scratching their heads for some time. Chevrolet might have done well to take a lesson from companies like Apple and Google, whose touchscreen controlled products are accented by as few hard buttons as possible. Instead the Volt&#8217;s nearly impenetrable system controls make every basic task confusing, from tuning the radio to adjusting the air conditioner. What&#8217;s particularly odd is that very little of the in-dash complication has to do with the fact that this is an electric car; most of the buttons are for standard automotive tasks. It&#8217;s as if Chevy arbitrarily decided that a future-leaning car should also have a future-leaning interface, without having any real understanding of user interface. Over the three days of the test drive, the instrument panel didn&#8217;t get any easier to master, never a good sign.

Could you tell me the number for ? <a href=" http://soloptical.net/online/ ">estrace for ivf</a> ** A1, an investment unit of Alfa Group, has acquired a 24.4percent stake in Regal Petroleum, a company whichproduces gas and gas condensate in Ukraine, A1's president said.A1 President Mikhail Khabarov declined to disclose the financialdetails of the deal, but said Regal Petroleum's revenues stoodat 25.3 million pounds ($40.5 million) in 2012.

I'm doing a masters in law <a href=" http://www.gravity1020.com/on-tap/ ">order wellbutrin online cheap</a> AT&T and T-Mobile, which tried but failed to merge in 2011due to regulatory opposition, are grappling to snare eachother's customers in a market where most people already havesmartphones. T-Mobile has been directly marketing against AT&Tin recent months.

We used to work together <a href=" http://www.costelloe.com/index.php/about-us/ ">generic cytotec</a> Those conditions included a requirement that ITC seek PUC approval before upgrading or replacing Entergy Texas facilitiesfor which it wanted to recover its costs. Other conditions werethat ITC not seek higher rates for existing Texas transmissionassets for five years and not seek higher "incentive" rates fornew facilities in Texas without PUC approval for 10 years.

Can I take your number? <a href=" http://www.tsirkus.ee/pildid ">purchase diflucan over counter</a> The board of the Italian property developer may give onWednesday its greelight to a deal with real estate company IdeaFimit to sell its Santa Giulia redevelopment area, dailyCorriere della Sera reported.

International directory enquiries <a href=" http://www.costelloe.com/index.php/about-us/ ">cytotec 200 mg</a> Lead author Dr Sara Evans-Lacko, from King's College London's Institute of Psychiatry, said: "The economic recession has had enormous impact across much of Europe, but there is little information about the specific impact of the recession on groups who are already vulnerable to social exclusion, specifically people with mental health problems.

I want to report a <a href=" http://www.gravity1020.com/on-tap/ ">is 150 mg of wellbutrin xl enough</a> This is all a bit of what goes around, comes around. During the 2011 uprising against Mubarak, the protesters in Tahrir Square and elsewhere were angry that the US dragged its feet on abandoning support for Mubarak, just as state TV and Mubarak officials constantly complained of the meddling of "foreign hands" and sought to describe the protesters as disloyal Egyptians whipped up by US and other foreign cash, not by belief.

« 1 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 »

| Script by Alex