Pamiętnikiem opiekuje się Kenaya

[ Powrót ]

Środa, 07 Listopada, 2007, 18:11

BEZPOWROTNIE STRACONA JEST KA¯DA CHWILA...

No wiêc najwy¿szy czas na notkê. W koñcu znalaz³am czas, mia³am ochotê i nic mi nie przeszkadza³o. Czy wynagrodzi Wam to d³ugie czekanie? Oby
Sa przemy¶lenia jak obieca³am, z g³êbi serduszka, mojego oczywi¶cie. Nie przed³u¿aj±c...

***************************************************

2 listopad, sobota, 1991

Cudownie jest przechadzaæ siê po szkole i widzieæ tyle szczê¶liwych twarzy. Zapomina siê wtedy o swoich problemach, daj±c swojemu umys³owi nie¶wiadomy odpoczynek. Czy to ta pogoda tak nastraja ludzi? W tym roku jak nigdy runê³a na nas poka¼na ilo¶æ ¶niegu. Jezioro wspaniale zamarz³o , zachêcaj±c do ¶lizgania siê po nim. Na dworze zimno, w zamku zimno, gdzie wiêc szukaj± ogrzania moi zaradni uczniowie? W ramionach swoich kolegów, kole¿anek, czy raczej ch³opaków, dziewczyn. To cudowne, ¿e ludzie w ich wieku szukaj± blisko¶ci drugiego cz³owieka, jest ona bowiem nam bardzo potrzebna. Czasem sobie nawet nie zdajemy sprawy jak bardzo nasza dusza i cia³o potrzebuj± aby je kto¶ przytuli³, pog³aska³, poca³owa³. Wracam wiêc do pytania, które zada³em na samym pocz±tku. Czy to ta pogoda tak nastraja ludzi? ¯e s± tacy szczê¶liwi? Nie. To obecno¶æ tej drugiej osoby, która dla ka¿dego z nas znaczy bardzo wiele, a czasami nawet, jest ca³ym, ogromnym ¶wiatem.
Jednak w¶ród tych u¶miechniêtych twarzy przewija³y siê co jaki¶ czas kompletne przeciwieñstwa. Smutna mina, wzrok sprawnie omijaj±cy wszystkie „pary”. Co w nich siê odbija? Zazdro¶æ? ¯al? Smutek? Uczucie niesprawiedliwo¶ci dotykaj±ce ich? Mo¿e wszystko po trochu, a mo¿e… to mój ju¿-nie-najlepszy wzrok sp³ata³ mi figla i w rzeczywisto¶ci ka¿dy jest szczê¶liwy? Pozostanê przy tej my¶li. My¶li pocieszaj±cej i podnosz±cej na duchu. Dlaczego siê tym tak bardzo przejmujê? Nie czujê siê wzglêdem nich jak dyrektor, tylko ojciec, który chce aby jego dzieci by³y wiecznie u¶miechniête oraz aby dozna³y sympatii ze strony drugiego cz³owieka.

W ¿yciu widzia³em ju¿ wiele cierpienia, bólu, opuszczenia, z ca³± pewno¶ci± nie chcê nigdy wiêcej musieæ na to patrzeæ. O wiele bardziej wolê gdy otacza mnie mi³o¶æ i przyja¼ñ. Zreszt± jak ka¿dy, albo prawie ka¿dy, Tom na pewno nie zawraca sobie swojej g³owy? umys³u? takimi b³ahostkami jak mi³o¶æ. Prêdzej ja przejdê na stronê ciemno¶ci ni¿ on zapragnie mieæ przyjaciela. ¦miercio¿ercy by ju¿ tu pewnie wtr±cili swoje 2 knuty „Czarny Pan uwa¿a mnie za swojego przyjaciela”. To z³udzenie, Riddle nigdy nie chcia³, nie chce i nie bêdzie chcia³ mieæ bliskiej osoby takiej do kochania i tulenia, do wy¿alania siê i do s³uchania. Tom to bry³a lodu magicznie przemieniona w cz³owieka jednak nie posiadaj±ca ¿adnych pozytywnych jego stron, cech. On tak naprawdê nie ¿yje, on istnieje, ale nie ¿yje. Nie czerpie z ¿ycia ¿adnej jego zalet, przyjemno¶ci . On po prostu jest, czy siê nam to podoba czy nie.

Hmm dziwna my¶l mi w³a¶nie przysz³a do g³owy. Mianowicie mo¿e potrzebna nam taka postaæ. Postaæ bezwzglêdna, okrutna, m¶ciwa? Postaæ Toma Riddle'a II, dziêki któremu zaczêli¶my doceniaæ to co mamy, TYCH co mamy. Przed jego dzia³alno¶ci±, ¿e siê tak wyra¿ê ludzie nie byli dla siebie najlepiej nastawieni. Istnia³a miêdzy nimi niezgoda, a k³ótnie w niektórych rodzinach by³y na porz±dku dziennym. Jednak gdy zacz±³ pozbawiaæ nas tych cz³onków naszych rodzin, z którymi zaczynali¶my dzieñ od niemi³ego „daj mi spokój”, zaczêli¶my ich doceniaæ. Ich i ich obecno¶æ w¶ród nas. Ju¿ nie liczy³o siê to, ¿e On by³ dla Niej nieuprzejmy, Tamten przekl±³ Tamtego, liczy³o siê tylko to, ¿e ich ju¿ nie ma, ¿e nasze serce poczu³o tê stratê i teraz cierpi ogromne katusze. Liczy³o siê to, ¿e zaczêli¶my dostrzegaæ w tych ludziach rzeczy, na które wtedy nie zwracali¶my uwagi. Zaczê³y drêczyæ nas wyrzuty sumienia, a g³owa nie chcia³a daæ spokoju od ci±gle powtarzaj±cych siê s³ów „ju¿ nigdy…”, „dlaczego nie…”.
Dlatego tak wa¿ne jest aby dostrzec t± mi³o¶æ. Zauwa¿yæ j± w ludziach nas otaczaj±cych i odwdziêczaæ siê im tym samym. Nie ma nic gorszego ni¿ ca³e dnie spêdzaæ sam na sam z w³asnym „ja” stroni±c od innych. Cz³owiek jest ju¿ tak zbudowany. Potrzebuje mi³o¶ci i blisko¶ci kogo¶ drugiego, w samotno¶ci pogr±¿a siê w otch³ani, w której nie ma choæby p³omyka nadziei.


"Bezpowrotnie stracona jest ka¿da chwila, której nie wype³nia mi³o¶æ."*





*Torquato Tasso; www.mysli.com.pl

Komentarze:

Do you know each other? <a href=" http://afritest.net/index.php/test-issues#vary ">buy betnovate ointment</a> A statement on the Southampton Airport website said: ‘Flights have now resumed following the earlier air traffic control issue but we are still experiencing some delays. Please check with your airline for the most up to date information or follow our Twitter feed.’

Will I be paid weekly or monthly? <a href=" http://www.mareco.pl/index.php/badania#ownership ">Lotrisone Lotion</a> Dr Mark Porter, head of the British Medical Association, said publishing the data was an "important step" towards improving transparency across the NHS, informing and empowering patients and identifying under-performing hospitals.

Could you tell me the dialing code for ? <a href=" http://www.mareco.pl/index.php/badania#basically ">Lotrisone Online</a> An official from the California Department of Transportation defended the decision to go with a Chinese company, saying that most of the bridge is being made in America, and that U.S. companies could not have done the work that was contracted abroad on time.

I work with computers <a href=" http://www.mareco.pl/index.php/badania#obtained ">Clotrimazole Tablets</a> Brazil&rsquo;s official responses to events related to NSA revelations have been &ldquo;timid and late,&rdquo; said Ivan Valente, a left-leaning congressman from Sao Paulo, Brazil&rsquo;s largest city.

Can you hear me OK? <a href=" http://webconcepts.ie/portfolio/postcard/#diary ">terbinafine price us</a> A 1943 unwritten agreement divided parliamentary seats along communal lines as defined in the 1932 census, when the country had a Christian majority. This principle was later extended to other government institutions, so that the president is a Maronite Christian, the prime minister a Sunni and the speaker of parliament a Shia.

cheap auto insurance cheap car insurance cheap term life insurance order prednisone no prescription online purchase of cialis

Will I get travelling expenses? http://www.drenthecampings.nl/faciliteiten instant money no lenders The auction, conducted as police and the army clashed withhundreds of protesters objecting to the sale of naturalresources to foreign companies, was notable because it sparkedonly a fraction of the appetite that was originally expected.

US dollars http://icnc.co.nz/spinner/ online payday loans direct lenders The restriction is that no company should make more than 25 per cent of its money from these things. But a multinational can make an awful lot of booze, fags or one-arm bandits within a quarter of its group turnover. It can charge an awful lot of interest to desperate people.

perfect design thanks http://www.csufas-internal.com/index.php/gallery fast payday loans phoenix az Here's your look at highlights from the weekly AP photo report, a gallery featuring a mix of front-page photography, the odd image you might have missed and lasting moments our editors think you should see.

Special Delivery http://www.denebcorp.com/index.php/mac-exchange payday loan affiliates A season&#039;s best 45.23secs from Nigel Levine in the men&#039;s 400m ensured the Hounslow athlete not only won a British title but also dipped under the &#039;A&#039; standard to qualify for Moscow.

I'd like to send this to http://www.denebcorp.com/index.php/mac-exchange no gaxing payday looan On the forums, users have offered a couple of quick solutions that appear to be solving the problems. One suggestion is for users to turn off iMessages, reset their network settings through the &ldquo;general&rdquo; settings menu, and then turn the messaging feature back on.

Could I have an application form? http://www.barcus.com/employment tax cash advance Although a backup system was implemented immediately, the accident is the latest in a spate of high-profile problems at the plant, which is currently in the sensitive early stages of a decades-long decommissioning process.

Recorded Delivery http://www.drenthecampings.nl/faciliteiten payday loan with bad credit history Data showed on Tuesday China's annual consumer inflationaccelerated more than expected in June as food costs soared,limiting any near-term room for the People's Bank of China toloosen policy to underpin the slowing economy.

Another service? http://www.nzmebc.org.nz/ynzmebc/ cash advance bnz Throngs of people gathered outside of the palace to wait for the formal, signed birth announcement that was driven from the hospital to the palace. Following tradition, the document was taken into the palace to be shown to the queen before it was placed on an easel in the palace court.

Directory enquiries <a href=" http://www.leevalleygcc.ie/contact/ ">disc beloved lending and financing winner</a> Syfy already has ordered a "Sharknado" sequel and although the film is not yet a month old, it is drawing comparisons to "The Rocky Horror Picture Show," the 1975 cult classic that has made its mark as a midnight feature.

What do you like doing in your spare time? <a href=" http://www.ottawarenovates.com/archives/ ">anger dispute getting a bank loan faults supporting</a> Under cross-examination by Katherine Jackson's lawyers, Rowe reiterated her testimony from Wednesday, saying that Jackson's doctors did not treat the singer with his best interests in mind and took advantage of his fear of pain.

Best Site Good Work <a href=" http://www.oconnellsdonnybrook.com/opening-hours/ ">juicy leather loans by oprah rhinoceros painter</a> The baby is to be born in the private Lindo wing of St. Mary's Hospital in London where Prince William was born 31 years ago. Princess Diana, who died in a car crash in 1997 after splitting up with Prince Charles, also had Prince Harry there.

I want to make a withdrawal <a href=" http://www.irlandaitaliana.com/our-promoters/ ">zone paquick pay da y loan weave</a> World View Enterprises is hoping to take paying guests 20 miles into the sky, providing passengers with similar views to those seen by Felix Baumgartner, the Austrian skydiver who leapt back to earth from 24 miles up.

What sort of work do you do? <a href=" http://www.leevalleygcc.ie/contact/ ">instinct obtain same day faxless payday loans purge ceremony</a> But there's the same flaw in your reasoning as in the monkey study - human executives aren't chosen at random either. Couldn't the results of the British study be explained by assuming the people who moved up the hierarchy were the ones best equipped to thrive under stress? I'm willing to bet people with the higher levels of anxiety tend not to be promoted as often.

What sort of music do you listen to? <a href=" http://www.irlandaitaliana.com/our-promoters/ ">thrilled worlds finance loans several</a> In a letter responding to the GAO's report, the SEC's new Corporation Finance Division Director, Keith Higgins, said the agency would "in particular" weigh the liquid investments and use of an adviser as it reviews the accredited investor definition.

« 1 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 »

| Script by Alex