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Piątek, 07 Listopada, 2008, 20:24

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Kochani, dziêkujê za wszystkie komentarze, notka pojawia siê teraz pomimo, ¿e napisa³am j± du¿o wcze¶niej, poniewa¿ wci±¿ co¶ poprawia³am Mam nadziejê, ¿e obecna wersja siê spodoba Buziaki!
***
Rano obudzi³y mnie dudni±ce o szyby wielkie krople deszczu.. Powoli otworzy³em oczy, rozkoszuj±c siê t± rytmik± i harmoni±, panuj±c± woko³o mnie. Moi koledzy jeszcze smacznie spali, chrapi±c przy tym niemi³osiernie. Czu³em siê tak szczê¶liwy, syty ¿ycia i my¶la³em, ¿e nic nie mo¿e przerwaæ mojego cudownego nastroju. Myli³em siê jednak¿e, bo z chwil±, gdy wróci³y do mnie wspomnienia wczorajszego upokarzaj±cego dnia, mój wspania³y nastrój prys³ jak bañka mydlana. Gwa³townie odchyli³em ko³drê, próbuj±c tym brutalnym gestem zatrzeæ wszystkie niemi³e chwile. Niestety, próba ta okaza³a siê bezsensowna, poniewa¿ poczu³em siê jeszcze gorzej. Wsta³em wiêc cicho, prawie ¿e bezszelestnie postawi³em stopy na miêkkim, puszystym dywanie i spojrza³em w okno, zamy¶lony. Zastanawia³em siê, czy dobrze zrobi³em wczoraj wieczorem, czy aby na pewno trzeba by³o tak post±piæ. Mam jednak to po mamie, ¿e ³atwo nie zapominam cudzych krzywd wobec mnie i kiedy tylko przypomnia³em sobie pogardliwe s³owa Hermiony i m¶ciwe u¶mieszki Rona, poczu³em powracaj±cy z dwukrotnie wiêksz± si³± gniew. Pragn±c przyt³umiæ go w jakikolwiek sposób, ze z³o¶ci± chwyci³em ubrania i poszed³em do ³azienki przebraæ siê. Przez ponury i przygnêbiaj±cy nastrój zupe³nie nie zauwa¿y³em, ¿e past± smarujê sobie nie zêby, lecz nos, a ubranie za³o¿y³em na odwrotn± stronê. Próbuj±c przywo³aæ siê do porz±dku, ca³kowicie uleg³em otaczaj±cemu mnie nastrojowi. Kiedy stara³em siê zapomnieæ chocia¿ na chwilê o wczorajszym wieczorze, wpad³ mi do g³owy pomys³, by wybraæ siê do parku szkolnego, le¿±cego tu¿ nad ogromnym jeziorem. Chocia¿ panuj±ca na dworze ulewa i ch³ód nie by³y zbyt zachêcaj±c± pogod± do wyj¶cia na dwór, czu³em, ¿e samotno¶æ w¶ród spokojnych, starych drzew przyniesie mi ulgê i ukojenie. Nie waha³em siê wiêc d³u¿ej i, narzucaj±c na siebie niedbale kurtkê, wyszed³em z dormitorium. Poniewa¿ by³a jeszcze wczesna pora, a w sobotê zazwyczaj wszyscy w Durmstrangu smacznie ¶pi± a¿ do jedenastej, korytarze ¶wieci³y pustkami. Staraj±c siê nie st±paæ zbyt g³o¶no, poniewa¿ g³uche echo dudni³o przera¿aj±co po ¶cianach, szed³em w kierunku drzwi g³ównych. Kiedy dotar³em do parku, usiad³em i z rezygnacj± spu¶ci³em g³owê. Czu³em, ¿e to wszystko mnie przerasta i mia³em ochotê udaæ siê daleko, ale to daleko st±d i bez ¿adnych problemów i trosk bawiæ siê jak dziecko, z dala od tego brutalnego i bezlitosnego ¶wiata, w którym jestem i w którym ¿yjê. Bola³o mnie to, ¿e kiedy zrobi³em co¶, na co nie by³em w stanie siê nawet zdecydowaæ, a co dopiero to zrealizowaæ, straci³em nie tylko najbli¿sza mi osobê, ale tak¿e zerwa³em wszelkie szanse na odzyskanie chocia¿by przyja¼ni Hermiony, a ju¿ w ogóle Rona. Pogr±¿ony w nieweso³ych my¶lach, zupe³nie oddali³em siê od realnego ¶wiata, wiêc nie lada siê zdziwi³em, kiedy przed sob± zobaczy³em pe³n± determinacji, ale i zaciêto¶ci twarz Missel. Patrz±c na mnie z niem± pro¶b±, spyta³a cicho:
-Mogê siê dosi±¶æ?
Rzuci³em jej pe³ne niechêci spojrzenie, po czym mrukn±³em niezbyt zachêcaj±co:
-Skoro ju¿ musisz...
Przysiad³a siê delikatnie ko³o mnie, z gracj± unosz±c lekko p³aszcz. Potem zapad³a d³uga cisza, której najwyra¼niej ¿adne z nas nie mia³o zamiaru przerywaæ. W koñcu Missel powiedzia³a, podnosz±c lekko g³os:
-Widzisz, Wiktorze, ja...Przepraszam ciê za wczorajsze...wczorajsz± k³ótniê…
-Ach tak? –rzek³em ironicznie, maj±c dosyæ ju¿ serdecznie ci±g³ych przeproszeñ; czu³em siê jak dziecko, na które najpierw siê wrzeszczy, a potem zbywa siê je byle czym, bo to siê komu¶ op³aca. Nie zd±¿y³em jednak rzuciæ jej ciêtej odpowiedzi, bo przysz³± wymianê zdañ przerwa³ nam nie kto inny ni¿ profesor Hogwal, moja opiekunka domu a zarazem dyrektorka szko³y oraz nauczycielka Logiki Magii.
-Och, panna Norman oraz pan Krum...To dlatego pan tak siê opuszcza w lekcjach ostatnio- có¿, nie mogê uczniom zabroniæ zakochiwania siê w sobie...- powiedzia³a ze z³o¶liwym u¶miechem; od dawna wiem, ¿e babsztyl strasznie mnie nie lubi.
S³ysz±c te s³owa, gwa³townie wsta³em, czerwieni±c siê, i szybko zaprzeczy³em:
-My wcale siê w sobie nie zakochali¶my, pani profesor! To czyste plotki i k³amstwa!
Tym razem to Missel wsta³a i rzuci³a mi mordercze spojrzenie:
-Ach, tak?
Obrzuci³em j± lodowatym wzrokiem od stóp od g³ów i warkn±³em:
-Tak!

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