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Piątek, 07 Listopada, 2008, 20:24

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Kochani, dzi�kuj� za wszystkie komentarze, notka pojawia si� teraz pomimo, �e napisa�am j� du�o wcze�niej, poniewa� wci�� co� poprawia�am Mam nadziej�, �e obecna wersja si� spodoba Buziaki!
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Rano obudzi�y mnie dudni�ce o szyby wielkie krople deszczu.. Powoli otworzy�em oczy, rozkoszuj�c si� t� rytmik� i harmoni�, panuj�c� woko�o mnie. Moi koledzy jeszcze smacznie spali, chrapi�c przy tym niemi�osiernie. Czu�em si� tak szcz�liwy, syty �ycia i my�la�em, �e nic nie mo�e przerwa� mojego cudownego nastroju. Myli�em si� jednak�e, bo z chwil�, gdy wr�ci�y do mnie wspomnienia wczorajszego upokarzaj�cego dnia, m�j wspania�y nastr�j prys� jak ba�ka mydlana. Gwa�townie odchyli�em ko�dr�, pr�buj�c tym brutalnym gestem zatrze� wszystkie niemi�e chwile. Niestety, pr�ba ta okaza�a si� bezsensowna, poniewa� poczu�em si� jeszcze gorzej. Wsta�em wi�c cicho, prawie �e bezszelestnie postawi�em stopy na mi�kkim, puszystym dywanie i spojrza�em w okno, zamy�lony. Zastanawia�em si�, czy dobrze zrobi�em wczoraj wieczorem, czy aby na pewno trzeba by�o tak post�pi�. Mam jednak to po mamie, �e �atwo nie zapominam cudzych krzywd wobec mnie i kiedy tylko przypomnia�em sobie pogardliwe s�owa Hermiony i m�ciwe u�mieszki Rona, poczu�em powracaj�cy z dwukrotnie wi�ksz� si�� gniew. Pragn�c przyt�umi� go w jakikolwiek spos�b, ze z�o�ci� chwyci�em ubrania i poszed�em do �azienki przebra� si�. Przez ponury i przygn�biaj�cy nastr�j zupe�nie nie zauwa�y�em, �e past� smaruj� sobie nie z�by, lecz nos, a ubranie za�o�y�em na odwrotn� stron�. Pr�buj�c przywo�a� si� do porz�dku, ca�kowicie uleg�em otaczaj�cemu mnie nastrojowi. Kiedy stara�em si� zapomnie� chocia� na chwil� o wczorajszym wieczorze, wpad� mi do g�owy pomys�, by wybra� si� do parku szkolnego, le��cego tu� nad ogromnym jeziorem. Chocia� panuj�ca na dworze ulewa i ch��d nie by�y zbyt zach�caj�c� pogod� do wyj�cia na dw�r, czu�em, �e samotno�� w�r�d spokojnych, starych drzew przyniesie mi ulg� i ukojenie. Nie waha�em si� wi�c d�u�ej i, narzucaj�c na siebie niedbale kurtk�, wyszed�em z dormitorium. Poniewa� by�a jeszcze wczesna pora, a w sobot� zazwyczaj wszyscy w Durmstrangu smacznie �pi� a� do jedenastej, korytarze �wieci�y pustkami. Staraj�c si� nie st�pa� zbyt g�o�no, poniewa� g�uche echo dudni�o przera�aj�co po �cianach, szed�em w kierunku drzwi g��wnych. Kiedy dotar�em do parku, usiad�em i z rezygnacj� spu�ci�em g�ow�. Czu�em, �e to wszystko mnie przerasta i mia�em ochot� uda� si� daleko, ale to daleko st�d i bez �adnych problem�w i trosk bawi� si� jak dziecko, z dala od tego brutalnego i bezlitosnego �wiata, w kt�rym jestem i w kt�rym �yj�. Bola�o mnie to, �e kiedy zrobi�em co�, na co nie by�em w stanie si� nawet zdecydowa�, a co dopiero to zrealizowa�, straci�em nie tylko najbli�sza mi osob�, ale tak�e zerwa�em wszelkie szanse na odzyskanie chocia�by przyja�ni Hermiony, a ju� w og�le Rona. Pogr��ony w nieweso�ych my�lach, zupe�nie oddali�em si� od realnego �wiata, wi�c nie lada si� zdziwi�em, kiedy przed sob� zobaczy�em pe�n� determinacji, ale i zaci�to�ci twarz Missel. Patrz�c na mnie z niem� pro�b�, spyta�a cicho:
-Mog� si� dosi���?
Rzuci�em jej pe�ne niech�ci spojrzenie, po czym mrukn��em niezbyt zach�caj�co:
-Skoro ju� musisz...
Przysiad�a si� delikatnie ko�o mnie, z gracj� unosz�c lekko p�aszcz. Potem zapad�a d�uga cisza, kt�rej najwyra�niej �adne z nas nie mia�o zamiaru przerywa�. W ko�cu Missel powiedzia�a, podnosz�c lekko g�os:
-Widzisz, Wiktorze, ja...Przepraszam ci� za wczorajsze...wczorajsz� k��tni�…
-Ach tak? –rzek�em ironicznie, maj�c dosy� ju� serdecznie ci�g�ych przeprosze�; czu�em si� jak dziecko, na kt�re najpierw si� wrzeszczy, a potem zbywa si� je byle czym, bo to si� komu� op�aca. Nie zd��y�em jednak rzuci� jej ci�tej odpowiedzi, bo przysz�� wymian� zda� przerwa� nam nie kto inny ni� profesor Hogwal, moja opiekunka domu a zarazem dyrektorka szko�y oraz nauczycielka Logiki Magii.
-Och, panna Norman oraz pan Krum...To dlatego pan tak si� opuszcza w lekcjach ostatnio- c�, nie mog� uczniom zabroni� zakochiwania si� w sobie...- powiedzia�a ze z�o�liwym u�miechem; od dawna wiem, �e babsztyl strasznie mnie nie lubi.
S�ysz�c te s�owa, gwa�townie wsta�em, czerwieni�c si�, i szybko zaprzeczy�em:
-My wcale si� w sobie nie zakochali�my, pani profesor! To czyste plotki i k�amstwa!
Tym razem to Missel wsta�a i rzuci�a mi mordercze spojrzenie:
-Ach, tak?
Obrzuci�em j� lodowatym wzrokiem od st�p od g��w i warkn��em:
-Tak!

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