Pamietnik Remusa Lupina!
Pamiętnikiem opiekuje się Syrcia
Do 20 marca 2009r pamiętnikiem opiekowała się K@si@@@
Do 07.07.08 pamiętnik prowadził Nowicjusz Magii
Do grudnia 2007 pamiętnik prowadziłą The Halfblood Princess

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Czwartek, 29 Marca, 2012, 21:13

48. Wpis czterdziesty ósmy.

Przerazi³am siê normalnie, jak zobaczy³am, ile czasu nic tu nie doda³am, wiêc dodajê taki oto strzêpek. ¯eby nie by³o, ¿e zostawi³am ten pamiêtnik, czy co¶.



Zaprawdê powiadam wszelkiemu stworzeniu… Baby maj± nasrane w bani! W dodatku uderzy³em dziewczynê, pierwszy raz w ¿yciu!
Ledwo wróci³em do szko³y po pe³ni, dowiedzia³em siê, ¿e Syriusz ju¿ nie jest z Donn±. Bynajmniej nie od niego, po prostu jakim¶ cudem w mojej torbie znalaz³a siê ³ajnobomba, która wybuch³a mi w twarz, gdy otwiera³em j± na lekcji. Wybuch sprawi³, ¿e z torby wylecia³ mi wyjec, z którego zdrowo siê ju¿ dymi³o. Niezdarnie wyciera³em twarz z ³ajna rêkawami, a list zacz±³ wrzeszczeæ, ¿e mnie zniszczy, zniszczy mnie („...rozumiesz?! ZNISZCZÊ CIÊ!!!”), obrzuca³ mnie wyzwiskami, grozi³ i dar³ siê co¶ o ³amaczach serc. Klasa mia³a beki, a ja z pocz±tku nie wiedzia³em, o co chodzi. Na przerwie Donna szybko rzuci³a mi siê w oczy, a jej triumfalny wyraz twarzy sprawi³, ¿e momentalnie wszystko siê we mnie zagotowa³o.
- Ty!... – warkn±³em rozjuszony, doskakuj±c do niej.
- Co? – prychnê³a.
Chwyci³em j± za koszulê na piersiach, mn±c j± w gar¶ci. Zaczê³a piszczeæ, chyba s±dz±c, ¿e mam na celu obmacywanie jej, a nie trzymanie przed sob±, ¿eby mi nie uciek³a. K±tem umys³u zarejestrowa³em, ¿e na korytarzu zapad³a cisza.
- Zamknij siê! – warkn±³em. – Jaka ty jeste¶ têpa! Na mózg ci siê ju¿ rzuci³o?! Co to za jakie¶ posrane pomys³y?! Wyjec, ³ajnobomby?! Czy ty do cholery normalna jeste¶?! Do ³ba ci nie przysz³o, ¿e jak co¶ wybucha w twarz to mo¿e zrobiæ krzywdê?!
- Przestañ mnie dotykaæ! Zostaw!...
- To TY zostaw MNIE w spokoju, znajd¼ sobie jakie¶ inne zajêcie i przestañ wkurzaæ ludzi! – dar³em siê.
- Trzeba mi by³o nie odbijaæ Syriusza, pedale!
To sta³o siê szybciej, ni¿ zd±¿y³em pomy¶leæ. Pu¶ci³em jej ubranie, wzi±³em zamach i z ca³ej si³y uderzy³em j± otwart± d³oni± w policzek. Upad³a, zapewne z wra¿enia, bo nie s±dzê, bym mia³ a¿ tyle si³y. Sta³em nad ni±, dysz±c ciê¿ko i z jak±¶ dziwn± satysfakcj± patrzy³em na czerwony ¶lad na jej twarzy. Niebieskie oczy nape³ni³y siê jej ³zami, co nie wywar³o na mnie g³êbszego wra¿enia.
- Zejd¼ ze mnie, ty têpa… – zacz±³em cicho, zaciskaj±c dygoc±ce d³onie w piê¶ci.
- Remus! – zawo³a³ James, doskakuj±c do mnie. Z³apa³ mnie za ramiona, odci±gaj±c od niej, Black podniós³ Krukonkê z ziemi i równie¿ do mnie podszed³, po czym poci±gnêli mnie za sob± do dormitorium. Uczniowie na korytarzu odsuwali siê nam z drogi, ³ypi±c na mnie – zw³aszcza niewiasty – rozsierdzonymi spojrzeniami. Nieca³e pó³ godziny pó¼niej sta³em w gabinecie dyrektora razem ze szlochaj±c± i zgrzytaj±c± Donn±, spokojnie mówi±c mu, ¿e ta oto por±bana niewiasta, delikatnie mówi±c lecia³a sobie ze mn± w kulki, rozpuszczaj±c ploty po Hogwarcie, ¿e niby gustujê w panach, ¿e skrad³em Blackowi serce i opowiadaj±c resztê jej por±banych akcji. Z góry doda³em równie¿, ¿e nawet nie musi próbowaæ mnie prosiæ, ¿ebym j± przeprosi³, bo i tak tego nie zrobiê – kretynka sama siê przecie¿ prosi³a. Nie s±dzi³em, ¿e potrafiê byæ na co¶ tak obojêtny jak wtedy, kiedy by³em na dywaniku. Zaskakuj±ce by³o dla mnie równie¿ to, ¿e w jaki¶ sposób czu³em satysfakcjê z tego, co zrobi³em.
Na bal z okazji Nocy Duchów nie poszed³em, bowiem mimo i¿ dziewczê samo siê prosi³o, to ogó³ mia³ mi to strasznie za z³e. Nie mia³em ochoty wystawiaæ siê na ogieñ krzy¿owy ich spojrzeñ. Nawet Huncwoci krzywo na mnie patrzyli, bo jak to – uderzyæ kobietê?!... Mimo i¿ by³em przekonany o s³uszno¶ci swych dzia³añ, na pocz±tku listopada dopad³em Donnê jak wychodzi³a z wielkiej sali i przeprosi³em j±. Nie widzia³em jednak sensu w t³umaczeniu siê, bo nie czu³em siê winny. U¶miechnê³a siê (?!...) i powiedzia³a, ¿e nie szkodzi, ¿e rozumie i takie tam, bla bla. Równie¿ mnie przeprosi³a i poprosi³a, ¿ebym nie mia³ jej tego wszystkiego za z³e, bo ona go tak kocha i ¿e… Tutaj wykrêci³em siê, ¿e niby czego¶ nie wzi±³em z biblioteki i da³em w d³ug±.
Dziewczyny s± popieprzone.
Kapitan Gryfonów organizuje eliminacje do dru¿yny. Pok³óci³ siê ze ¶cigaj±cym, a ¿e szukaj±ca by³a dziewczyn± owego ¶cigaj±cego, który zosta³ wykopany, to te¿ odesz³a. Ach, có¿ za wspania³y akt mi³o¶ci!
Kiedy czyta³em og³oszenie, ¿e nastêpnego dnia odbêd± siê owe sprawdziany, psychiczny u¶miech wcisn±³ mi siê na twarz. Pójdê na nie, wszak co mi szkodzi? Postanowi³em startowaæ na ¶cigaj±cego, bowiem na latacza za zniczem napali³ siê okularnik. Postanowi³em nikomu choæby s³ówka nie pisn±æ o mym szatañskim pomy¶le, wiêc w tym wielkim dniu zjad³em w tempie ekspresowym – wci±ga³em z talerza prawie jak mugolski odkurzacz – i pogna³em do dormitorium, by ubraæ siê wygodniej i wymkn±æ z zamku. Buchn±³em miot³ê szkoln± ze schowka – oczywi¶cie za pozwoleniem profesorki od latania – i dziarsko ruszy³em na stadion. Nie mog³em powstrzymaæ g³upiego u¶miechu wciskaj±cego mi siê na twarz. Prawdopodobnie siê tak kokosi³ przez ³askotki, które maltretowa³y mój ¿o³±dek. Zabawne uczucie.
Zasiad³em sobie na murawie, czekaj±c, a¿ zjawi± siê inni.
- Remus?...
Drgn±³em, s³ysz±c g³os Gilberta. Wyszczerzy³em do niego zêby w szerokim u¶miechu, machaj±c energicznie. Przykucn±³ przede mn±.
- Ty, tutaj? Quidditch jest zbyt brutalnym sportem dla takich kruszynek jak ty…
Prychn±³em, nie bez rozbawienia.
- Nie jestem taki delikatny na jakiego wygl±dam – rzuci³em zdawkowo, zadzieraj±c lekko podbródek, by wygodniej mi siê patrzy³o mu w oczy. – Chcê siê po prostu sprawdziæ.
- A w jakiej pozycji?
Zrobi³em siê czerwony od podtekstu obijaj±cego mi siê o wnêtrze czaszki. Nienawidzê tego. Chrz±kn±³em lekko, staraj±c siê ignorowaæ jego rozbawienie.
- ¦cigaj±cy.
Zacmoka³, krêc±c g³ow±.
- Zmia¿d¿± ciê w grze.
U¶miechn±³em siê przekornie.
- ¦cigaj±cy powinien mieæ drobn± budowê; mo¿e lecieæ szybciej, bo powietrze stawia mu mniejszy opór i jest znacznie zwinniejszy od du¿ych, barczystych zawodników.
Gilbert wyszczerzy³ zêby w u¶miechu.
- Wiesz, co jest na rzeczy, ma³y.
- Zaiste – odpar³em w syriuszowy sposób.
Dalsze czekanie up³ynê³o nam w milczeniu. Niebawem zeszli siê pozostali ochotnicy do ¶cierania siê o miejsca w dru¿ynie, w tym, oczywi¶cie, Potter. Na mój widok wytrzeszczy³ ga³y, widocznie nie dowierzaj±c temu, ¿e mnie zobaczy³. Oczywi¶cie by³ zbulwersowany, ¿e mu nie powiedzia³em o swych jak¿e mrocznych zamiarach próby dostania siê do sk³adu, ale stwierdzi³em, ¿e tak jest bardziej pazernie, wiêc da³ mi spokój. Na trudne pytania Jamesa wystarczy odpowiedzieæ, ¿e co¶ jest pazerne, a on ju¿ czuje siê usatysfakcjonowany. Nie rozumiem jego sposobu my¶lenia i nawet nie zamierzam próbowaæ tego ogarn±æ, bo skoñczy siê to dla mnie ¶mierci±, kalectwem albo trwa³ym uszczerbkiem na psychice.

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