Pamiętnikiem opiekuje się Ann-Britt
Do 02.11.2008r. pamiętnikiem opiekowała się Katie Chang!

[ Powr�t ]

Niedziela, 15 Listopada, 1998, 13:51

1. Romilda chce zmian.

Hurra, hurra!
Odgrzeba�am z mojej starej poczty pierwsz� notk�, t�, kt�r� wys�a�am do ZKP. Cieszmy si� i radujmy si�. Kolejne p�jd� na raz, jak tylko komputer si� naprawi.
Dzi�kuj� Wam za cierpliwo�� i wsparcie.

***
Dlaczego pisz�? Bo �ycie zwali�o mi si� na g�ow� z g�uchym trzaskiem zostawiaj�c mnie w stanie kompletnego og�upienia. Bo przyjaci�ka, kt�ra z pewno�ci� zostanie s�ynnym psychoterapeut�, poradzi�a mi przelanie moich trosk na papier. Co mam zamiar uczyni�, inaczej chyba bym zwariowa�a.

Mo�e nie jestem specjalnie mi�a dla wszystkich. Niekt�rzy m�wi�, �e si� zbyt wywy�szam, dbam tylko o w�asne uczucia, ale to nieprawda. Staram si� by� szczera, mo�e czasem za bardzo? No ale w�a�nie dzi�ki temu jestem znana w szkole. O popularno�� walka rozpocz�a si� w tym roku, czyli nast�pnym po bitwie w Hogwarcie w kt�rej Harry uratowa� ca�y �wiat pokonuj�c V.
Nie m�wi�, �e szczeg�lnie zale�a�o mi na tym by by� rozpoznawaln�. Wystarcza�a mi moja paczka, kt�ra niestety si� rozpad�a. We wrze�niu wielu ludzi robi�o r�ne g�upie rzeczy staraj�c si� zaj�� miejsce Pottera. Oczywi�cie na pierwszym od pocz�tku by�a Ginevra Weasley, jako dziewczyna bohatera... Nie musia�a robi� nic by wszyscy j� rozpoznawali.
Ja sta�am si� znana jako ta, co "zawsze wali prosto z mostu", albo inaczej: "ta bezczelna", niestety. Ale wr��my do moich egzystencjalnych problem�w.

M�j g��wny k�opot polega na tym, �e cz�sto m�wi� o s�owo za du�o. Tak jak w przypadku Violet. Tak jak w przypadku Carmen. I tak jak w przypadku Liama, niestety. Niestety, bo to w�a�nie przez niego wpad�am w "p�depresj�", kt�r� w�a�ni prze�ywam. Bo to jedyny ch�opak, z kt�rym nie ja zerwa�am, ale on ze mn�.
Po prostu, jak to okre�li�a Sharon, to by� dla mnie szok z powodu mojej w�adczej osobowo�ci. Nigdy wcze�niej nie spotka�o mnie takie rozczarowanie nie licz�c oczywi�cie momentu, kiedy zobaczy�am Pottera ca�uj�cego si� nami�tnie i to publicznie, z wy�ej wymienion� Ginevr�. Teraz wiem, �e to dlatego, ze nie mog�am pogodzi� si� z tak jednoznaczn� przegran�... Zwykle wygrywa�am takie "bitwy" o ch�opaka.
Sharon stwierdzi�a, �e musze zmieni� co� w swoim �yciu. Zaczn� od za�o�enia pami�tnika, bo to - jak rzek�a moja przyjaci�ka - najkr�tsza droga do sukcesu.

- Zapisz swoje problemy oraz to, co chcia�aby� zmieni� w �yciu. Potem zastanowimy si� jak to ponaprawia�-powiedzia�a.

Mo�e napisz� co� o Sharon. Pozna�y�my si� dopiero na pocz�tku tego roku szkolnego. Jej rodzice ju� po drugiej klasie w Hogwarcie przenie�li j� do Beauxboutons. Ojciec Sharon by� jednym z tych, kt�rzy uwierzyli Potterowi, �e V. si� odrodzi� i �e nadchodz� ci�kie czasy, wi�c przepisa� j� do francuskiej szko�y. Stwierdzi�, �e b�dzie bezpieczniejsza z dala od centrum wydarze�. Kiedy wszystko min�o, wr�ci�a do angielskiej, bo to jednak bli�ej jej domu. Jest ode mnie o rok m�odsza, mimo to od razu j� polubi�am. Zosta�y�my przyjaci�kami po tym, jak pok��ci�am si� �miertelnie z Carmen, wtedy Sharon bardzo mnie wspiera�a.

Potem jednak nadszed� kolejny prze�om. Na �wiat przyszed� Robak, nazwany przez moich rodzic�w Rohanem. Teraz ka�dy list mojej mamy zawiera� informacje, kt�re mia�y mnie ucieszy�, tym czasem z niewiadomych powod�w powodowa�y stan zwany prze mojego ojca szewsk� pasj�.
Kto zbli�y� si� do mnie w dniu otrzymania takowej karteczki m�g� zosta� objechany naprawd� nie�le. Wieczorem, w dniu, w kt�rym Liam zerwa� ze mn�, dosta�am li�cik: "Droga Romildo! Mam nadziej�, �e czujesz si� dobrze. Rohan zrobi� dzi� sw�j pierwszy krok! Stwierdzi�am, �e ucieszy Ci� na pewno ta wiadomo��. Ucz si� pilnie! M.". List zamiast ucieszy� zdenerwowa� mnie ( w wyniku czego podar�am go w drobny mak), a gdy ju� si� wy�y�am, wpad�am w niezwyk�e dla mnie ot�pienie.
Usiad�am w fotelu w pokoju wsp�lnym i wpatrywa�am si� t�po w ogie�. Czy kto� zgadnie jaka to by�a data? 13 listopada 1998 roku. Pi�tek. I jak tu nie by� przes�dnym? Siedz�c tak pogr��a�am si� (tak powiedzia�a Sharon) w rozpaczy, bo zamiast my�le� o czym� innym skupia�am si� na problemie rozdmuchuj�c go do rozmiar�w katastrofy globalnej. Jeden ch�opak, jeden list - i tyle zmartwie�... Chyba powinnam przesta� spotyka� si� z pierwszymi przystojniejszymi. Mama zawsze m�wi�a mi:

- Jeste� taka �liczna, mo�esz mie� ka�dego! Ale wybierz tylko tego, kt�rego to ty b�dziesz kocha�.- Taki bana� a jaki prawdziwy.

Mo�e powinnam zapisa� si� na jakie� k�ka, �eby podci�gn�� si� z nauk�, bo to aktualnie by�a ostatnia rzecz jak� si� martwi�am. Nie trzeba chyba m�wi� jakie SUMy podostawa�am? Masakra.

Co chcia�abym zmieni�:

1.Chodzi� tylko z kim�, na kim naprawd� b�dzie mi zale�e�.

2.Podci�gn�� si� z nauk�. To przecie� przed ostatni rok!

3.Spr�bowa� przesta� narzeka� na Robaka.

4.Spr�bowa� przesta� ci�gle narzeka� na moje �ycie.



P�ki co wystarczy. Tak czy siak, wydaje mi si�, �e zmieni�am si� przez ten ostatni rok. Prze�ywa�am strasznie wszystkie rany odnoszone przez moich koleg�w w wyniku spi�� z nauczycielami. Przez wakacje gorzko op�akiwa�am poleg�ych w bitwie. Mimo wszystko nie jestem chyba bez serca?

Wiem, �e mo�e zbyt stanowczo d��� do postawionych sobie cel�w. Ale ambicja to co� wpisanego w moje �ycie. Gdybym nie stawia�a sobie cel�w (mo�e lekko trywialnych do tej pory) to teraz w�a�ciwie niczego bym nie osi�gn�a. Mo�e nie lubi� si� uczy�, ale je�li mam poprawi� jakie� N, to poprawiam.
Ta moja ambicja pojawia si� szczeg�lnie, je�li chodzi o ch�opak�w. No i by�am w poprzednich latach zawsze zazdrosna o kole�anki. Zawsze, je�li kt�ra� mia�a jak�� now� bluzk�, te� musia�am sobie kupi�. Je�li jedna uwa�a�a, �e ma �adniejsze ode mnie oczy, musia�am udowodni� jej �e to nieprawda (zwykle pyta�am pierwszego napotkanego ch�opaka). Takie ma�e zboczenie. Ale... wydaje mi si� �e troch� ju� z tego wyros�am. �e chcia�abym zmieni�... m�j image? A mo�e po prostu - siebie.

Mo�e komu� wyda� si� to sztuczne, albo naci�gane, ale tak to ju� jest: w moim wypadku chyba znacz�cy wp�yw mia�a na mnie Sharon. Tak, ta pi�tnastolatka z niez�ym charakterkiem. Mimo �e tak kr�tko si� znamy, zawsze potrafi�a mnie rozgry��. Mo�e dlatego mnie polubi�a: zauwa�y�a �e jestem czym� wi�cej ni� pust� lal� pragn�c� zwr�ci� na siebie uwag�.

Ale bycie s�odk� idiotk� te� mia�o swoje plusy, do dzi� za�miewam si� z tych kocio�k�w z eliksirem mi�osnym, kt�re przes�a�am Potterowi, czy innych g�upot, kt�re wyprawia�am w trzeciej czy czwartej klasie. Ale mam jakby wra�enie, �e to ju� za mn�.

W zamku pierwszego wrze�nia wszyscy byli niezwykle cicho na uczcie powitalnej. Dyrektorka w przem�wieniu najpierw wymieni�a wszystkich poleg�ych w walce o nasz� wolno�� i uczcili�my ich minut� ciszy.

Wydaje mi si�, �e ka�dy, kto �wiadomie prze�y� czas walk i prze�ladowa�, musia� zmieni� co� w swoim �yciu. Dzieci uczone przez Carrow�w troch� szybciej dojrza�y, musia�y z�apa� dystans je�li nie chcia�y mie� wypranych m�zg�w. Doro�li zauwa�yli co tak naprawd� wa�ne jest w tym magicznym �wiecie, jakie warto�ci. A mnie niezwykle podnios�a na duchu, jak wszyscy czarodzieje razem stawiali czo�a z�u, mimo �e ono ich przera�a�o. Chyba w�a�nie ten czas, kiedy przez chwil� na �wiecie nie by�o pokoju, zmieni� mnie na zawsze, pokaza� czego mam szuka�.

Komentarze:

Sorry, you must have the wrong number <a href=" http://www.blue-lemons.com/our-services ">levaquin 750</a> America has high hopes for what its brightest students can produce. And yes, of course, the American dream is partly about maximizing the entrepreneurial opportunities that our free society and capitalist economy offers. But the American dream isn't just about personal aggrandizement. What would our Founding Fathers think of America's brightest students worshiping private jets and Ferrari cars? Don't forget, our Founding Fathers were willing to pledge their fortunes (as well as their lives and sacred honor) to the cause of building a true democracy and a community of free thinkers. Harvard Business School may need to rethink the values it is passing on and the type of community it is building.

Sorry, you must have the wrong number <a href=" http://www.blue-lemons.com/our-services ">levaquin 750</a> America has high hopes for what its brightest students can produce. And yes, of course, the American dream is partly about maximizing the entrepreneurial opportunities that our free society and capitalist economy offers. But the American dream isn't just about personal aggrandizement. What would our Founding Fathers think of America's brightest students worshiping private jets and Ferrari cars? Don't forget, our Founding Fathers were willing to pledge their fortunes (as well as their lives and sacred honor) to the cause of building a true democracy and a community of free thinkers. Harvard Business School may need to rethink the values it is passing on and the type of community it is building.

Remove card <a href=" http://www.blue-lemons.com/our-beliefs ">levaquin 500mg for chlamydia</a> That strong scent is more than annoying -- for some migraine sufferers, it's enough to set off an attack. Sensory stimuli like bright lights (including the sun, computer screen or movie theater screen glare), strong smells (like perfume or cigarette smoke) and loud noises can all be headache culprits, Buse says.Some stimuli you can't do much about, but she suggests wearing sunglasses outdoors year-round if light is a problem and asking friends and co-workers to go easy on the perfume, if possible.

Remove card <a href=" http://www.blue-lemons.com/our-beliefs ">levaquin 500mg for chlamydia</a> That strong scent is more than annoying -- for some migraine sufferers, it's enough to set off an attack. Sensory stimuli like bright lights (including the sun, computer screen or movie theater screen glare), strong smells (like perfume or cigarette smoke) and loud noises can all be headache culprits, Buse says.Some stimuli you can't do much about, but she suggests wearing sunglasses outdoors year-round if light is a problem and asking friends and co-workers to go easy on the perfume, if possible.

Did you go to university? <a href=" http://www.blue-lemons.com/our-mission ">?levaquin mg</a> She was still at the crime scene, zonked, when police arrived. Knight pled guilty to murder and was sent to prison for life, without hope of parole, the first Australian woman to earn such a punishment.

Did you go to university? <a href=" http://www.blue-lemons.com/our-mission ">?levaquin mg</a> She was still at the crime scene, zonked, when police arrived. Knight pled guilty to murder and was sent to prison for life, without hope of parole, the first Australian woman to earn such a punishment.

What sort of music do you listen to? <a href=" http://www.blue-lemons.com/our-beliefs ">levaquin 500 mg price walgreens</a> North Carolina Gov. Pat McCrory on Monday signed into law changes in how residents can vote that includes requiring them to show a photo ID at polling stations, a move that triggered threats of legal action from the NAACP and other groups.

What sort of music do you listen to? <a href=" http://www.blue-lemons.com/our-beliefs ">levaquin 500 mg price walgreens</a> North Carolina Gov. Pat McCrory on Monday signed into law changes in how residents can vote that includes requiring them to show a photo ID at polling stations, a move that triggered threats of legal action from the NAACP and other groups.

Please call back later <a href=" http://www.racc.org/advocacy/local-issues ">seroquel 100 mg for insomnia</a> UK gamers may be slightly disappointed that the $249 (around £162) U.S. price point hasn't been converted directly into sterling, but unfortunately, in these circumstances, that's rarely the case.

Please call back later <a href=" http://www.racc.org/advocacy/local-issues ">seroquel 100 mg for insomnia</a> UK gamers may be slightly disappointed that the $249 (around £162) U.S. price point hasn't been converted directly into sterling, but unfortunately, in these circumstances, that's rarely the case.

What sort of music do you like? <a href=" http://www.web-directories.ws/blog/ ">lit paxil 30 mg tablets faucet</a> Apple shares slumped 5.1 percent to $469.45, ontrack for its steepest drop since April, and was the biggestdrag on both the S&P 500 and Nasdaq 100 indexes. CreditSuisse, UBS and Bank of America Merrill Lynch each lowered theirrating on the stock to "neutral" after the company unveiled newiPhone models Tuesday.

What sort of music do you like? <a href=" http://www.web-directories.ws/blog/ ">lit paxil 30 mg tablets faucet</a> Apple shares slumped 5.1 percent to $469.45, ontrack for its steepest drop since April, and was the biggestdrag on both the S&P 500 and Nasdaq 100 indexes. CreditSuisse, UBS and Bank of America Merrill Lynch each lowered theirrating on the stock to "neutral" after the company unveiled newiPhone models Tuesday.

magic story very thanks <a href=" http://talaya.net/fire.html ">respected paroxetine 30 madam</a> And here we are exploring Peter’s character again.  This boy isn’t a friend of his, he’s never met him, but secret be damned he’s willing to give the boy his dream come true.  In the time it took to have a 11 pages worth of comic panel conversation Peter sized up that boy and knew that even sharing his secret, there would be no fear of exposure.  Spider-man may not be a “real” person but it sure makes me feel better knowing that there are people out there like that.  This has long been an inspiration for me.

magic story very thanks <a href=" http://talaya.net/fire.html ">respected paroxetine 30 madam</a> And here we are exploring Peter’s character again.  This boy isn’t a friend of his, he’s never met him, but secret be damned he’s willing to give the boy his dream come true.  In the time it took to have a 11 pages worth of comic panel conversation Peter sized up that boy and knew that even sharing his secret, there would be no fear of exposure.  Spider-man may not be a “real” person but it sure makes me feel better knowing that there are people out there like that.  This has long been an inspiration for me.

Do you like it here? <a href=" http://talaya.net/palaces.html ">disguise 40 mg paxil for anxiety genius miscellaneous</a> The Rangers are pleased to have depth down the middle, but they also hope it doesn’t create a logjam. Sather’s decision to retain Brad Richards in the offseason has left three centers in Richards, Derek Stepan and Derick Brassard to fill just two spots on the top two lines. Vigneault, therefore, will experiment with both Richards and Brassard on the wing. Stepan, Brassard, free-agent acquisition Dominic Moore and Brian Boyle will start at center Thursday night. Stepan, 23, who missed the preseason while negotiating his new contract, led the Rangers with 44 points in 48 games in just his third season last spring. Brassard, 26, acquired at last season’s trade deadline from Columbus, was the Rangers’ best forward in the playoffs (12 points, 10 assists).

Do you like it here? <a href=" http://talaya.net/palaces.html ">disguise 40 mg paxil for anxiety genius miscellaneous</a> The Rangers are pleased to have depth down the middle, but they also hope it doesn’t create a logjam. Sather’s decision to retain Brad Richards in the offseason has left three centers in Richards, Derek Stepan and Derick Brassard to fill just two spots on the top two lines. Vigneault, therefore, will experiment with both Richards and Brassard on the wing. Stepan, Brassard, free-agent acquisition Dominic Moore and Brian Boyle will start at center Thursday night. Stepan, 23, who missed the preseason while negotiating his new contract, led the Rangers with 44 points in 48 games in just his third season last spring. Brassard, 26, acquired at last season’s trade deadline from Columbus, was the Rangers’ best forward in the playoffs (12 points, 10 assists).

Can you hear me OK? <a href=" http://www.zestskinspa.co.uk/treatments/waxing/ ">attack inside amitriptyline 25 mg for nerve pain cemetery</a> Creditors' claims now trade between 120 and 135 percent in asecondary or "grey" market for their value, compared to as lowas 10 percent in the weeks after the collapse, reflecting anexpectation that a premium will be paid.

Can you hear me OK? <a href=" http://www.zestskinspa.co.uk/treatments/waxing/ ">attack inside amitriptyline 25 mg for nerve pain cemetery</a> Creditors' claims now trade between 120 and 135 percent in asecondary or "grey" market for their value, compared to as lowas 10 percent in the weeks after the collapse, reflecting anexpectation that a premium will be paid.

Your cash is being counted <a href=" http://weblinksonline.co.uk/tutorials.html ">review abilify 15 mg prospect arrow unload</a> It is not clear what impact, if any, the prolonged uncertainty may be having on BoA-ML's efforts to expand its business and challenge its rivals. Last month the firm shut down the Houston trading desk responsible for cutting long-term deals with power plants. A person familiar with the matter said the desk's closure was not at the request of the Fed.

Your cash is being counted <a href=" http://weblinksonline.co.uk/tutorials.html ">review abilify 15 mg prospect arrow unload</a> It is not clear what impact, if any, the prolonged uncertainty may be having on BoA-ML's efforts to expand its business and challenge its rivals. Last month the firm shut down the Houston trading desk responsible for cutting long-term deals with power plants. A person familiar with the matter said the desk's closure was not at the request of the Fed.

« 1 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 »

| Script by Alex