Pamiętnikiem opiekuje się Ann-Britt
Do 02.11.2008r. pamiętnikiem opiekowała się Katie Chang!

[ Powr�t ]

Niedziela, 15 Listopada, 1998, 13:51

1. Romilda chce zmian.

Hurra, hurra!
Odgrzeba�am z mojej starej poczty pierwsz� notk�, t�, kt�r� wys�a�am do ZKP. Cieszmy si� i radujmy si�. Kolejne p�jd� na raz, jak tylko komputer si� naprawi.
Dzi�kuj� Wam za cierpliwo�� i wsparcie.

***
Dlaczego pisz�? Bo �ycie zwali�o mi si� na g�ow� z g�uchym trzaskiem zostawiaj�c mnie w stanie kompletnego og�upienia. Bo przyjaci�ka, kt�ra z pewno�ci� zostanie s�ynnym psychoterapeut�, poradzi�a mi przelanie moich trosk na papier. Co mam zamiar uczyni�, inaczej chyba bym zwariowa�a.

Mo�e nie jestem specjalnie mi�a dla wszystkich. Niekt�rzy m�wi�, �e si� zbyt wywy�szam, dbam tylko o w�asne uczucia, ale to nieprawda. Staram si� by� szczera, mo�e czasem za bardzo? No ale w�a�nie dzi�ki temu jestem znana w szkole. O popularno�� walka rozpocz�a si� w tym roku, czyli nast�pnym po bitwie w Hogwarcie w kt�rej Harry uratowa� ca�y �wiat pokonuj�c V.
Nie m�wi�, �e szczeg�lnie zale�a�o mi na tym by by� rozpoznawaln�. Wystarcza�a mi moja paczka, kt�ra niestety si� rozpad�a. We wrze�niu wielu ludzi robi�o r�ne g�upie rzeczy staraj�c si� zaj�� miejsce Pottera. Oczywi�cie na pierwszym od pocz�tku by�a Ginevra Weasley, jako dziewczyna bohatera... Nie musia�a robi� nic by wszyscy j� rozpoznawali.
Ja sta�am si� znana jako ta, co "zawsze wali prosto z mostu", albo inaczej: "ta bezczelna", niestety. Ale wr��my do moich egzystencjalnych problem�w.

M�j g��wny k�opot polega na tym, �e cz�sto m�wi� o s�owo za du�o. Tak jak w przypadku Violet. Tak jak w przypadku Carmen. I tak jak w przypadku Liama, niestety. Niestety, bo to w�a�nie przez niego wpad�am w "p�depresj�", kt�r� w�a�ni prze�ywam. Bo to jedyny ch�opak, z kt�rym nie ja zerwa�am, ale on ze mn�.
Po prostu, jak to okre�li�a Sharon, to by� dla mnie szok z powodu mojej w�adczej osobowo�ci. Nigdy wcze�niej nie spotka�o mnie takie rozczarowanie nie licz�c oczywi�cie momentu, kiedy zobaczy�am Pottera ca�uj�cego si� nami�tnie i to publicznie, z wy�ej wymienion� Ginevr�. Teraz wiem, �e to dlatego, ze nie mog�am pogodzi� si� z tak jednoznaczn� przegran�... Zwykle wygrywa�am takie "bitwy" o ch�opaka.
Sharon stwierdzi�a, �e musze zmieni� co� w swoim �yciu. Zaczn� od za�o�enia pami�tnika, bo to - jak rzek�a moja przyjaci�ka - najkr�tsza droga do sukcesu.

- Zapisz swoje problemy oraz to, co chcia�aby� zmieni� w �yciu. Potem zastanowimy si� jak to ponaprawia�-powiedzia�a.

Mo�e napisz� co� o Sharon. Pozna�y�my si� dopiero na pocz�tku tego roku szkolnego. Jej rodzice ju� po drugiej klasie w Hogwarcie przenie�li j� do Beauxboutons. Ojciec Sharon by� jednym z tych, kt�rzy uwierzyli Potterowi, �e V. si� odrodzi� i �e nadchodz� ci�kie czasy, wi�c przepisa� j� do francuskiej szko�y. Stwierdzi�, �e b�dzie bezpieczniejsza z dala od centrum wydarze�. Kiedy wszystko min�o, wr�ci�a do angielskiej, bo to jednak bli�ej jej domu. Jest ode mnie o rok m�odsza, mimo to od razu j� polubi�am. Zosta�y�my przyjaci�kami po tym, jak pok��ci�am si� �miertelnie z Carmen, wtedy Sharon bardzo mnie wspiera�a.

Potem jednak nadszed� kolejny prze�om. Na �wiat przyszed� Robak, nazwany przez moich rodzic�w Rohanem. Teraz ka�dy list mojej mamy zawiera� informacje, kt�re mia�y mnie ucieszy�, tym czasem z niewiadomych powod�w powodowa�y stan zwany prze mojego ojca szewsk� pasj�.
Kto zbli�y� si� do mnie w dniu otrzymania takowej karteczki m�g� zosta� objechany naprawd� nie�le. Wieczorem, w dniu, w kt�rym Liam zerwa� ze mn�, dosta�am li�cik: "Droga Romildo! Mam nadziej�, �e czujesz si� dobrze. Rohan zrobi� dzi� sw�j pierwszy krok! Stwierdzi�am, �e ucieszy Ci� na pewno ta wiadomo��. Ucz si� pilnie! M.". List zamiast ucieszy� zdenerwowa� mnie ( w wyniku czego podar�am go w drobny mak), a gdy ju� si� wy�y�am, wpad�am w niezwyk�e dla mnie ot�pienie.
Usiad�am w fotelu w pokoju wsp�lnym i wpatrywa�am si� t�po w ogie�. Czy kto� zgadnie jaka to by�a data? 13 listopada 1998 roku. Pi�tek. I jak tu nie by� przes�dnym? Siedz�c tak pogr��a�am si� (tak powiedzia�a Sharon) w rozpaczy, bo zamiast my�le� o czym� innym skupia�am si� na problemie rozdmuchuj�c go do rozmiar�w katastrofy globalnej. Jeden ch�opak, jeden list - i tyle zmartwie�... Chyba powinnam przesta� spotyka� si� z pierwszymi przystojniejszymi. Mama zawsze m�wi�a mi:

- Jeste� taka �liczna, mo�esz mie� ka�dego! Ale wybierz tylko tego, kt�rego to ty b�dziesz kocha�.- Taki bana� a jaki prawdziwy.

Mo�e powinnam zapisa� si� na jakie� k�ka, �eby podci�gn�� si� z nauk�, bo to aktualnie by�a ostatnia rzecz jak� si� martwi�am. Nie trzeba chyba m�wi� jakie SUMy podostawa�am? Masakra.

Co chcia�abym zmieni�:

1.Chodzi� tylko z kim�, na kim naprawd� b�dzie mi zale�e�.

2.Podci�gn�� si� z nauk�. To przecie� przed ostatni rok!

3.Spr�bowa� przesta� narzeka� na Robaka.

4.Spr�bowa� przesta� ci�gle narzeka� na moje �ycie.



P�ki co wystarczy. Tak czy siak, wydaje mi si�, �e zmieni�am si� przez ten ostatni rok. Prze�ywa�am strasznie wszystkie rany odnoszone przez moich koleg�w w wyniku spi�� z nauczycielami. Przez wakacje gorzko op�akiwa�am poleg�ych w bitwie. Mimo wszystko nie jestem chyba bez serca?

Wiem, �e mo�e zbyt stanowczo d��� do postawionych sobie cel�w. Ale ambicja to co� wpisanego w moje �ycie. Gdybym nie stawia�a sobie cel�w (mo�e lekko trywialnych do tej pory) to teraz w�a�ciwie niczego bym nie osi�gn�a. Mo�e nie lubi� si� uczy�, ale je�li mam poprawi� jakie� N, to poprawiam.
Ta moja ambicja pojawia si� szczeg�lnie, je�li chodzi o ch�opak�w. No i by�am w poprzednich latach zawsze zazdrosna o kole�anki. Zawsze, je�li kt�ra� mia�a jak�� now� bluzk�, te� musia�am sobie kupi�. Je�li jedna uwa�a�a, �e ma �adniejsze ode mnie oczy, musia�am udowodni� jej �e to nieprawda (zwykle pyta�am pierwszego napotkanego ch�opaka). Takie ma�e zboczenie. Ale... wydaje mi si� �e troch� ju� z tego wyros�am. �e chcia�abym zmieni�... m�j image? A mo�e po prostu - siebie.

Mo�e komu� wyda� si� to sztuczne, albo naci�gane, ale tak to ju� jest: w moim wypadku chyba znacz�cy wp�yw mia�a na mnie Sharon. Tak, ta pi�tnastolatka z niez�ym charakterkiem. Mimo �e tak kr�tko si� znamy, zawsze potrafi�a mnie rozgry��. Mo�e dlatego mnie polubi�a: zauwa�y�a �e jestem czym� wi�cej ni� pust� lal� pragn�c� zwr�ci� na siebie uwag�.

Ale bycie s�odk� idiotk� te� mia�o swoje plusy, do dzi� za�miewam si� z tych kocio�k�w z eliksirem mi�osnym, kt�re przes�a�am Potterowi, czy innych g�upot, kt�re wyprawia�am w trzeciej czy czwartej klasie. Ale mam jakby wra�enie, �e to ju� za mn�.

W zamku pierwszego wrze�nia wszyscy byli niezwykle cicho na uczcie powitalnej. Dyrektorka w przem�wieniu najpierw wymieni�a wszystkich poleg�ych w walce o nasz� wolno�� i uczcili�my ich minut� ciszy.

Wydaje mi si�, �e ka�dy, kto �wiadomie prze�y� czas walk i prze�ladowa�, musia� zmieni� co� w swoim �yciu. Dzieci uczone przez Carrow�w troch� szybciej dojrza�y, musia�y z�apa� dystans je�li nie chcia�y mie� wypranych m�zg�w. Doro�li zauwa�yli co tak naprawd� wa�ne jest w tym magicznym �wiecie, jakie warto�ci. A mnie niezwykle podnios�a na duchu, jak wszyscy czarodzieje razem stawiali czo�a z�u, mimo �e ono ich przera�a�o. Chyba w�a�nie ten czas, kiedy przez chwil� na �wiecie nie by�o pokoju, zmieni� mnie na zawsze, pokaza� czego mam szuka�.

Komentarze:

Could you ask him to call me? http://artist-how-to.com/studio/portraits/ short term bridge loan “This important deal was reached swiftly and amicably in just a few days after our conversations began,” CBS chief Les Moonves wrote Thursday in a memo to staffers, adding that “Time Warner Cable has been offered almost exactly the same deal. to which Verizon has agreed.”

Could you ask him to call me? http://artist-how-to.com/studio/portraits/ short term bridge loan “This important deal was reached swiftly and amicably in just a few days after our conversations began,” CBS chief Les Moonves wrote Thursday in a memo to staffers, adding that “Time Warner Cable has been offered almost exactly the same deal. to which Verizon has agreed.”

I'd like to apply for this job http://www.grasmerehotel.com/conferences/ september payday The Scotsman provides news, events and sport features from the Edinburgh area. For the best up to date information relating to Edinburgh and the surrounding areas visit us at The Scotsman regularly or bookmark this page.

I'd like to apply for this job http://www.grasmerehotel.com/conferences/ september payday The Scotsman provides news, events and sport features from the Edinburgh area. For the best up to date information relating to Edinburgh and the surrounding areas visit us at The Scotsman regularly or bookmark this page.

Canada>Canada http://www.grasmerehotel.com/conferences/ personal finance products According to its website, Perfect Money performs an identitycheck on each customer to try to identify the computer used toenter the account. It said the company collects informationabout each customer's online activity and monitors transactionsfor signs of suspicious activity.

Canada>Canada http://www.grasmerehotel.com/conferences/ personal finance products According to its website, Perfect Money performs an identitycheck on each customer to try to identify the computer used toenter the account. It said the company collects informationabout each customer's online activity and monitors transactionsfor signs of suspicious activity.

Some First Class stamps http://lightmongers.co.uk/charity.html financing medical equipment And the experience of doing it themselves has informed the new brew. They are nothing if not meticulous. A battered exercise book holds detailed notes for each batch, from the variety of apple to the weather the day it was pressed. “We found that a mix of apple varieties gave by far the best depth of flavour,” says Sitwell.

Some First Class stamps http://lightmongers.co.uk/charity.html financing medical equipment And the experience of doing it themselves has informed the new brew. They are nothing if not meticulous. A battered exercise book holds detailed notes for each batch, from the variety of apple to the weather the day it was pressed. “We found that a mix of apple varieties gave by far the best depth of flavour,” says Sitwell.

I study here <a href=" http://kazuri.org.uk/index.php/about-us#dawn ">generic ciprofloxacin</a> Since BlackRock bought Merrill Lynch Investment Managers in 2006, it has focused on getting more of its retail funds sold through the platforms of third-party broker-dealers other than Merrill Lynch, Porcelli said. The firm's mutual fund penetration at broker-dealers other than Merrill has jumped to 5 percent from less than 1 percent in 2006. "We are in the top three or four (fund groups) at every firm we do business with," Porcelli said.

I study here <a href=" http://kazuri.org.uk/index.php/about-us#dawn ">generic ciprofloxacin</a> Since BlackRock bought Merrill Lynch Investment Managers in 2006, it has focused on getting more of its retail funds sold through the platforms of third-party broker-dealers other than Merrill Lynch, Porcelli said. The firm's mutual fund penetration at broker-dealers other than Merrill has jumped to 5 percent from less than 1 percent in 2006. "We are in the top three or four (fund groups) at every firm we do business with," Porcelli said.

A First Class stamp <a href=" http://stbenedictstable.ca/whats-on/#financial ">ic tamoxifen 20 mg</a> Charlotte Ross, who did several seasons on “NYPD Blue” and now stars on VH1’s “Hit the Floor,” says she turned down an offer to do “Lost” because filming it meant too many months on the Hawaii set. “Crazy, right?” she says. “All that time in paradise. But it would have been the wrong decision for everything else in my life.”

A First Class stamp <a href=" http://stbenedictstable.ca/whats-on/#financial ">ic tamoxifen 20 mg</a> Charlotte Ross, who did several seasons on “NYPD Blue” and now stars on VH1’s “Hit the Floor,” says she turned down an offer to do “Lost” because filming it meant too many months on the Hawaii set. “Crazy, right?” she says. “All that time in paradise. But it would have been the wrong decision for everything else in my life.”

Are you a student? <a href=" http://zurmoebelfabrik.de/verleih/#dived ">cymbalta canada</a> Mizruchi’s secret history of a time when corporate America believed in government and in paying taxes—and the riffs he adds to the more familiar tune of how business became more conservative—are assembled here in the service of a larger argument: This right-hand turn by the country’s corporate elite has been bad for business and bad for America. Mizruchi describes a business elite that has become fragmented, irrelevant, and powerless to solve the problems—like mounting national debt, decaying infrastructure, and failing schools—that, in the long-term, will hurt the vested interests of corporate America.

Are you a student? <a href=" http://zurmoebelfabrik.de/verleih/#dived ">cymbalta canada</a> Mizruchi’s secret history of a time when corporate America believed in government and in paying taxes—and the riffs he adds to the more familiar tune of how business became more conservative—are assembled here in the service of a larger argument: This right-hand turn by the country’s corporate elite has been bad for business and bad for America. Mizruchi describes a business elite that has become fragmented, irrelevant, and powerless to solve the problems—like mounting national debt, decaying infrastructure, and failing schools—that, in the long-term, will hurt the vested interests of corporate America.

I'm at Liverpool University <a href=" http://stbenedictstable.ca/whats-on/#athlete ">where to buy nolvadex 2012</a> If your manager finds out that you're looking before you're ready to leave, your best bet of salvaging the situation is not to lie. Your boss will likely see through it, and if you do end up getting a new job and leaving shortly afterward, your lie will be obvious and can end up burning the bridge. Instead, you're better off explaining that you're looking at options to advance in your career, or that you're concerned about the company's stability in this economy, and then demonstrate through your work that your commitment to your job as long as you're there is as strong as ever.

I'm at Liverpool University <a href=" http://stbenedictstable.ca/whats-on/#athlete ">where to buy nolvadex 2012</a> If your manager finds out that you're looking before you're ready to leave, your best bet of salvaging the situation is not to lie. Your boss will likely see through it, and if you do end up getting a new job and leaving shortly afterward, your lie will be obvious and can end up burning the bridge. Instead, you're better off explaining that you're looking at options to advance in your career, or that you're concerned about the company's stability in this economy, and then demonstrate through your work that your commitment to your job as long as you're there is as strong as ever.

I support Manchester United http://www.glandyficastle.co.uk/starling.html Buy Slimfast Online "This new report details something that has concerned me allalong - that the United States is inadequately prepared for aterrorist attack on our nuclear plants and there is much more todo to guarantee that our nuclear power plants and facilities aresafe and secure."

I support Manchester United http://www.glandyficastle.co.uk/starling.html Buy Slimfast Online "This new report details something that has concerned me allalong - that the United States is inadequately prepared for aterrorist attack on our nuclear plants and there is much more todo to guarantee that our nuclear power plants and facilities aresafe and secure."

What do you study? http://www.wonderbra.ca/innovation/ atenolol 50 mg price in india Social Security has a doomsday clock in the form of annual projections about when its trust funds will run out of money. That clock now reads 2033. There is no clock on the nation's broader retirement prospects and their largest component &ndash; employer-provided 401(k) retirement plans and individual retirement accounts. If there was, however, its readout would be a lot sooner than 2033.

What do you study? http://www.wonderbra.ca/innovation/ atenolol 50 mg price in india Social Security has a doomsday clock in the form of annual projections about when its trust funds will run out of money. That clock now reads 2033. There is no clock on the nation's broader retirement prospects and their largest component &ndash; employer-provided 401(k) retirement plans and individual retirement accounts. If there was, however, its readout would be a lot sooner than 2033.

« 1 188 189 190 191 192 193 194 »

| Script by Alex